Turanga Leela quotes from Futurama

Farnsworth

It's a sunny little doomed planet, inhabited by a number of frisky little doomed animals.

Leela

Animals?

Farnsworth

That's right. Animals in desperate need of rescue. You see, Vergon 6 was once filled with a super-dense substance known as dark matter, each pound of which weighs over ten thousand pounds.

Leela

Wait! What about the animals?

Farnsworth

Well, dark matter is extremely valuable as starship fuel. That's why it was all mined out, leaving the planet completely hollow.

Leela

Yes, but what about the animals?

Farnsworth

The wha?

Leela

The animals.

Farnsworth

I didn't say anything about animals. Now it seems that the planet will collapse within three days. Incidentally, this will kill all the animals.

Administer the test.

Which of the following would you most prefer? A: a puppy, B: a pretty flower from your sweetie, or C: a large properly formatted data file?

Choose!

Fry

Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way?

No, it is the bad kind of puppy.

Leela

Then we'll go with that data file!

Correct!

The flower would also have been acceptable.

Fry

Man, we look stupid. We should've gotten store-bought costumes.

Leela

Yeah, but there wasn't a Woolworth's in this quadrant.

Bender

Well I'm not doing it! It's a robot holiday.

Fry

Really? Which one?

Bender

Only Robanukkah, the holiest two weeks on the robot calendar.

Leela

Oh, come on, Bender. Last month it was "Robamadan" and before that "Robanza".

Fry

Man, that one was a blast!

Bender

It wasn't just "a blast". It was a sacred tribute to my ancestral prototypes which happened to take the form of a drinking contest.

Fry

I don't get this. Is Blernsball exactly the same as baseball?

Farnsworth

Baseball? God forbid.

Leela

Face it, Fry, baseball was as boring as Mom and apple pie. That's why they jazzed it up.

Fry

Boring? Baseball wasn't bori— [He cuts himself off.] ... So, they finally jazzed it up!

Leela

[Noting score on a sheet of paper.] Alright! Miller's on pace to hit 70 blerns!

Farnsworth

He's good alright, but he's no Clem Johnson! And Johnson played back in the days before steroid injections were mandatory!

Bender

Clem Johnson! That sack of skin wouldn't have lasted one pitch in the old robot league! Now, Wireless Joe Jackson - there was a blern-hittin' machine!

Leela

Exactly! He was a machine designed to hit blerns. I mean, come on! Wireless Joe was nothing but a programmable bat on wheels.

Bender

Oh, and I suppose Pitch-o-Mat 5000 was "just a modified howitzer"!

Leela

Yep.

Leela

You can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.

Fry

I could if you hadn't turned on the light and shut off the stereo.

Leela

Since when do you care about us?

Bender

We thought you only cared about cans of anchovies and stuffy songs about the buttocks!

Fry

No, that's true!

Leela

You're Fry's relative. Do you have any idea how he got so crazy?

Prof. Farnsworth

Uh, what? Oh, yeah, they say madness runs in our family. Some even call me mad. And why? Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters, atomic supermen with octagonal shaped bodies that suck blood...

Leela

I don't get it, Fry. Who was Ted Danson, and why did you bid $10, 000 for his skeleton?

Fry

I have an idea for a sitcom.

Fry

Hey, whatcha watching?

Leela

Is that a cooking show?

Bender

[turns off the TV] No, of course not. It was... uh... porno. Yeah, that's it.

Leela

[turns the TV back on] Bender, I didn't know you liked cooking. That's so cute.

Bender

Aww, it's true. I've been hiding it for so long.

Fry

It's okay, Bender. I like cooking too.

Bender

[sotto voce] Pansy.

Leela

Look at all these guys. Do you have any idea what the average length of their reigns was?

Fry

Uhh...... 80,000 years?

Leela

No, one week!

Fry

Damn! I knew you wouldn't have asked unless it was really high or really low.

Leela

I know you like cooking shows, but you're a robot. You don't even have a sense of taste.

Bender

Honey, I wouldn't talk about taste if I was wearing a lime green tank top.

Prof. Farnsworth

Good news, everyone!

Bender

Uh-oh, I don't like the sound of that.

Prof. Farnsworth

You'll be making a delivery to the planet Trisol.

Bender

Here it comes.

Prof. Farnsworth

A mysterious world in the darkest depths of the Forbidden Zone.

Bender

Thank you and goodnight.

Leela

Uh, Professor, are we even allowed in the Forbidden Zone?

Prof. Farnsworth

Why, of course! It's just a name! Like the Death Zone or the Zone of No Return. All the zones have names like that in the Galaxy of Terror!

Fry

[After testing the Smell-o-Scope] Just don't make me smell Uranus! [Laughs]

Leela

I don't get it.

Professor Farnsworth

I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.

Fry

So what's it called now?

Professor Farnsworth

Urrectum. Here, let me locate it for you.