“My Three Suns” · Season 1
In this episode: Philip J. Fry (7), Bender (6), Turanga Leela (4), Professor Hubert Farnsworth (1), Zoidberg (1), Hermes Conrad (1)
[Bender is watching a cooking show called Essence of Elzar]
Hey, whatcha watching?
Is that a cooking show?
[turns off the TV] No, of course not. It was... uh... porno. Yeah, that's it.
[turns the TV back on] Bender, I didn't know you liked cooking. That's so cute.
Aww, it's true. I've been hiding it for so long.
It's okay, Bender. I like cooking too.
[sotto voce] Pansy.
The Emperor Bont! He's still alive.
[from inside of Fry's stomach] Of course I'm alive. Now cut this creep open and drain me out!
Look at all these guys. Do you have any idea what the average length of their reigns was?
Uhh...... 80,000 years?
No, one week!
Damn! I knew you wouldn't have asked unless it was really high or really low.
It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?
That was the saltiest thing I ever tasted! And I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt!
There was nothing wrong with that food. The salt level was 10% less than a lethal dose.
Uh-oh! I shouldn't have had seconds.
It's no use. I want to cry, but I'm just too macho.
I'll make you cry, buddy. You're a pimple on society's ass and you'll never amount to anything!
Wha'd'you mean? I was emperor of a whole planet.
Good point... but here's a disturbing reminder: anyone you knew or loved in the 20th century is dead.
These things happen.
Okay, Fry, grab a Kleenex for this one, 'cause your idiotic human ideals are laughable. Ha ha ha!
Phew, that's a load off my mind.
Now that you mention it, I do have trouble breathing underwater sometimes. I'll take the gills.
Yes, gills. Then, uh, you don't need lungs anymore, is right?
Can't imagine why I would.
Lie down on table. I take lungs now, gills come next week.
I know you like cooking shows, but you're a robot. You don't even have a sense of taste.
Honey, I wouldn't talk about taste if I was wearing a lime green tank top.
Bender, it has come to my attention that this company has been paying you to do nothing but loaf around on the couch.
You call that a couch? I demand a pillow!
This is Your Majesty's harem. You may choose any of these maidens to be your royal consort.
Puh, puh, puh... How about that one?
Oh, I didn't realize Your Majesty was into that sort of thing.
On second thought, I'll take that one.
Hey, whatever you say. I'm not here to pass judgement.
Good news, everyone!
Uh-oh, I don't like the sound of that.
You'll be making a delivery to the planet Trisol.
Here it comes.
A mysterious world in the darkest depths of the Forbidden Zone.
Thank you and goodnight.
Uh, Professor, are we even allowed in the Forbidden Zone?
Why, of course! It's just a name! Like the Death Zone or the Zone of No Return. All the zones have names like that in the Galaxy of Terror!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
