“Fear of a Bot Planet” · Season 1
In this episode: Philip J. Fry (6), Turanga Leela (5), Bender (4), Professor Hubert Farnsworth (2)
Administer the test.
Which of the following would you most prefer? A: a puppy, B: a pretty flower from your sweetie, or C: a large properly formatted data file?
Choose!
[Fry and Leela confer for a bit.]
Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way?
No, it is the bad kind of puppy.
Then we'll go with that data file!
Correct!
The flower would also have been acceptable.
Man, we look stupid. We should've gotten store-bought costumes.
Yeah, but there wasn't a Woolworth's in this quadrant.
Well I'm not doing it! It's a robot holiday.
Really? Which one?
Only Robanukkah, the holiest two weeks on the robot calendar.
Oh, come on, Bender. Last month it was "Robamadan" and before that "Robanza".
Man, that one was a blast!
It wasn't just "a blast". It was a sacred tribute to my ancestral prototypes which happened to take the form of a drinking contest.
I don't get this. Is Blernsball exactly the same as baseball?
Baseball? God forbid.
Face it, Fry, baseball was as boring as Mom and apple pie. That's why they jazzed it up.
Boring? Baseball wasn't bori— [He cuts himself off.] ... So, they finally jazzed it up!
Welcome to a very special human hunt! We have with us today a guest whose irrational hatred for humans makes me look like a human sympathizer!
[The robots in the crowd laugh]
A newly-arrived refugee from Earth, let's hear it for... Bender!
It's him! He's OK!
Death to humans!
[The robots in the crowd cheer]
Aww... It's good to hear his voice.
We're rescuing ya.
I don't want to be rescued.
Say what?
I love this planet! I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.
[Noting score on a sheet of paper.] Alright! Miller's on pace to hit 70 blerns!
He's good alright, but he's no Clem Johnson! And Johnson played back in the days before steroid injections were mandatory!
Clem Johnson! That sack of skin wouldn't have lasted one pitch in the old robot league! Now, Wireless Joe Jackson - there was a blern-hittin' machine!
Exactly! He was a machine designed to hit blerns. I mean, come on! Wireless Joe was nothing but a programmable bat on wheels.
Oh, and I suppose Pitch-o-Mat 5000 was "just a modified howitzer"!
Yep.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
