Bender quotes from Futurama

All I wanted was to apologize to you people! But now I have to kill you!

Bender

How, by making me look at you?

No, by making you look at... my momma! [Shows picture to Bender, who recoils in horror]

Bender

Augh! Your momma's so ugly!

I told you not to talk about my momma!

Bender

Legion of Benders, come unto me! We have one thing to do.

Screw that!

Bender

Oh, come on, you lazy jerks! If we all pitch in, we each only have to do one-quintillionth of a thing.

[sigh] All right.

Fry

Bender, you duuu.

Bender

No, we duuu.

Robot Devil

You see, Bender, it's simple. You're a ghost!

Bender

A g-g-g-g-ghost?!

Robot Devil

No, just the regular kind.

Hermes

Last time you went to the suicide booth, you ended up dating it for six months.

Leela

How is Lynn, by the way?

Bender

Livin' in Oregon with her crazy mother!

Isn't it true, Mr. X, that you are slandering this innocent mafioso to distract from your own felonious past, including the crime you made up yourself called burglararsonlarsony?

Bender

That's a wholly owned trademark of Rodriguez Crime Concepts Inc.! Besides, I'm not on trial here.

That's true. You're on trial in courtroom 3. [presses button, wall spins Bender to another courtroom with a female version of 724]

You are charged with two counts of burglararsonlarsony. How do you plead?

Bender

Not innoguiltycent! [reaches, presses button, returning to 724's courtroom]

Hermes

Well, it's 6o'clock. I guess we'll have to deliver that human heart tomorrow. Good work, people!

Bender

Woo-hoo! Time to go clubbing! [pulls out a baseball bat] Baby seals, here I come!

Hermes

I can see sideways in time! [reverse] !emit ni syawedis ees nac I

Amy

Gee, I see CGI! [reverse] !IGC ees I, eeG

Fry

Poop! Ha-ha-ha! [reverse] !ah-ah-ah !pooP

Bender

Aw, yeah!

[in a conga line looping around the cockpit] Bender, Bender, Bender! Bender, Bender, Bender! Bender, Bender, Bender! Bender, Bender, Bender!

Bender

A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-- Awww! That was the greatest uncountably infinite bunch of guys I ever met.

Leela

Need I remind you that in space, the captain's word is law? I could marry Hermes with Bender against their will if I wanted to.

Hermes

[gasps] You wouldn't dare!

Bender

Eh, I've been married to worse.

Bender

I'd be remiss if I didn't rub your goopy noses in the fact that I'm immune. [starts laughing]

Farnsworth

Which is why we'll all be counting on you, and you alone, to nurse us through this catastrophe.

Bender

Why, God? Why have I been singled out?!

Fry

Everyone just calm down and make yourself a tissue walrus.

Cubert

This may take a while. I've got to adjust the memory timing, raise the CPU voltage, and delete twelve terabytes of outdated catchphrases.

Bender

Sounds like fun on the bun!

Deleted.

Fry

Oh, it's just that I love Leela something awful. Do you think a space dame like her would ever marry a two-bit low-life delivery boy like me? And also, I have bad posture, some severe financial problems?

Bender

Have you tried gettin' her pregnant?

Fry

Gosh, yes! I've tried and tried! But, so far, I only got Amy pregnant.

Fry

A guy like me can't afford a diamond ring for a gal like her.

Bender

That's for sure, not on the measly salary I steal from you every week. [takes Fry's wallet]

Farnsworth

All attempts to communicate with the aliens have failed. I fear our only option is thrilling space battle.

Power Friends Go!

Prof. Farnsworth

Of course! Having no mouths or ears they can only communicate through motions!

Fry

Or perhaps by odors.

Bender

That is how you communicate.

Hahahahahahaha!