Dr. Mike Burton quotes from Ed

Mike

[regarding Outback Steak Houses] What does steak have to do with Australia? It's like the Greenland Spaghetti House.

Mike

[giving Nancy advice on being a substitute teacher] Wear sturdy pants tomorrow. You're gonna need 'em.

Mike

[on Nancy's internet chatting addiction] Pass me the yellow pages, would you, hon? I want to start looking for one of those cult deprogrammers.

Mike

[to Ed] My God, it is so embarrassing when you try to act like an actual guy.

Mike

[to Ed] You hear that whistle? It's the Carol train leaving the station.

Mike

Ed, I'm going to get us a couple of extremely cold beers and you and I are going out on the back porch for a good old fashioned father-son talk.

Mike

I'm thrilled you seem to have gotten over Carol. I'm concerned that you seem to have fallen in love with a man.

Mike

Can't talk. Eating fried pie. Experiencing nirvana.

Mike

[to Ed, on why he and Dennis will never be friends] You hate that Carol's marrying him and he hates that Carol should be marrying you.

Mike

[Preparing to bowl his third straight strike] It's just a giant yo yo, release it and pull the string.

Mike

[reliving high school, in Ed's dream] Can I put my collar down now?

Mike

[feeling Linda`s hands, kept smooth with her own moisturizer] Yup, pretty moist there Linda.

Mike

[after wowing Nancy in bed] Men don't understand love making is a delicate blend between soul and flesh.

Mike

[to Nancy, who complained that he is not willing to make extra effort in the bedroom] You have been getting steak all week and are complaing about a turkey club now?

Mike

[about his office] This is where all the magic happens, if you call throat cultures magic.