Mark Vanacore quotes from Ed

[on what makes him miserable] For me, it's the insult of not being able to legally purchase a fine cigar.

Down is up, left is right, and Logic is on a ski vacation with his buddy Reason.

[in a tattoo parlor] I feel like I'm gonna get hepatitis just standing here.

[to Warren] Tell them you won't sign with anyone till they get you in a room with God himself.

I like being a loser because we can brood and feel things deeply and make fun of the winners.

[to Warren] You have created a level of lameness that can only be recreated under pure laboratory conditions.

[To Mike] The hungrier I am, the more I need to make up for it with bitter sarcasm.

[to Warren about Stella] You're acting like a puppy who just tasted his first Snausage.

Please note that the statements made by Warren Cheswick do not reflect the views of Mark Vanacore.

Next time I see a cool kid in the hall, I'll want to think 'moron' but now I'll think 'outstanding taste in web humor.'

[on the consequences of Warren`s tryst in Ed and Carol`s guest room] The wax melted and the wings came off? You flew too close to the sun, Icarus. Now you?re paying for it.

Warren

[on dating Diane] It would never work. Diane is a cynic. Warren Cheswick is a dreamer.

Warren Cheswick is a jack ass.

[during his medical checkup with Mike] Far be it for me to criticize your bedside manner, but I do believe that was a sigh of despair you just heaved.

Mike

Mark, if you don't do something, and do it now, you're going to die.