Nancy Burton quotes from Ed

Nancy

[watching as Ed`s "Hat Man" tries to pick up women in the bar] This is like watching a really cute puppy trying to have sex with a hooker.

Nancy

[when Mike says they must kick bad habits for Sarah`s sake] You were eating a pop tart naked, so I can't watch E! News Daily?!

Nancy

[indulging Mike`s new cultural side] Welcome home, Michael, would you like a crumpet?

Nancy

You scared the Steak-ums out of me!

Nancy

[on Mike] We all do stupid little things we're not proud of.

Nancy

[On Mike's preparations for the Recliner Rally] I love a man with ripped ankles.

Nancy

[When asked what words Carol used to describe Rich] Adjectives mostly. She better have used adjectives, she's an English teacher right?

Nancy

[about Mike and Dr. Jerome] They're like two nine-year-olds fighting over a Zagnut bar.

Nancy

[explaining the consequences if Mike and Walter don`t get along] Dr. Jerome I will break into your house in the middle of the night and beat you with my bare fists.

Nancy

[to Mike, pondering Ed's qualifications for babysitting] Well, he's no weirder than you are and you're her father.

Nancy

[to Ed about her daughter] If anything happens to her, I'll make it my life's work to destroy everything you hold dear.

Mike

[to Ed] Who would win in a fight - a big, strong guy or an invisible fat guy?

Ed

A big, strong guy.

Mike

What if the invisible fat guy has a whip?

Ed

Is it an invisible whip?

Nancy

This is the worst episode of the McLaughlin group ever.

Mike

[on how he and Nancy can earn money while they both stay home with Sarah] I figure I'll go downtown once a month, maybe work the hotel lobbies, sell my body to aging divorcees.

Nancy

Well, honey, you really think we can live on thirty-eight cents a month?