Dr. Mike Burton quotes from Ed

Mike

[after Nancy said that Mike's co-ed friend was a babe and a half] She was nothing compared to my wife, who's a babe and three quarters.

Mike

[finding out that Willie Butch costs $1000] Lineage!? I'm buying a dog, not the Prince of Wales!

Mike

[on learning Willie Butch`s pedigree is not all it was cracked up to be] I paid for the caviar of dogs and got the Starkist.

Mike

Do you think Willie Butch knows I'm human or does he just think I'm a really talented dog?"

Mike

[about talking to Ed about Carol] I thought he was being an idiot, but of course, I couldn't come right out and say that..actually, I could come right out and say that.

Mike

[when Nancy gets upset that he brings home low fat instead of skim] Look at the 98 percent of the milk I got right.

Mike

[as Nancy chimes in on their conversation] That's what I love about her, Ed. She has no idea what I'm talking about and still she has an answer.

Mike

[about Ed reading Carol's letters] Ed, you can't even see the line from where you're standing.

Mike

[ripping tape off Warren`s bare chest] Suck it up. If you're man enough to get a woman pregnant, you're man enough to handle a little pain.

Mike

[sneaking into Molly's office] I'm like a stealth bomber, invisible despite my size.

Mike

[bursting Ed`s bubble after learning of his grandiose proposal plans] Ed, you can't propose like that -- it's cheesy.

Mike

[to Ed] Say, 'Carol, will you marry me?' How's that for a plan?

Mike

[about Ed closing Stuckeybowl] At the end of an era, all the great ones from Laverne and Shirley to Mary Tyler Moore, they all do the slow turn, nod and hit the lights.

Mike

[being metaphorical trying to get Gunter to be comfortable about his supposed sexual preference] Two lilies together. Who am I to judge? Who is anybody?

Mike

[to Ed] Who would win in a fight - a big, strong guy or an invisible fat guy?

Ed

A big, strong guy.

Mike

What if the invisible fat guy has a whip?

Ed

Is it an invisible whip?

Nancy

This is the worst episode of the McLaughlin group ever.