Dr. Jerome quotes from Ed

Take my hand, Dr. Burton. Feel it. What was once a limber, supple instrument of healing now grows withered, leathery and stiff.

[to Mike] You don't get to disagree, you knuckle-dragging cretin! I have been a doctor for half a century. You have been a doctor since lunch! I am a man, you are a child! I know everything, you know nothing!

[when confronting Mike in his office] What a marvelous piece of craftsmanship! Whoever forged this diploma must really take pride in his work. I mean, it looks just like the real thing!

While I pride myself in having a facile sense of humor, steeped in both satire and irony, I choose not to use it here.

[on Mike`s assertion that his MD from Johns Hopkins is preparation enough for the practice] You aren't prepared to sell fish from the back of a truck, you slobbering moose!

[To Mike] I'll do what I want, when I want, you thick witted pelican, and if you don't like it, you can either kiss my ass or write your congressman.

[To Mike, offering him his old job] What do you say, Chim-Chim, you wanna come home again?

With all due respect, Mrs. Burton, your husband is a slack jawed llama.

Excuse me, Dr. Burton, I hate to interrupt, but I need you in the exam room. Could you please take your thumb out of your ass and join me?

[demanding that Mike harass his granddaughter, a medical student] I want her tested. I want her ground into a fine powder and then we're going to add water to that powder and see if we have a medical student.

[describing a fresh-out-of-med-school Mike] You need to see what I saw when you lurched through my door for the first time: a big useless slab of rock.

[to Mike about his working while having the flu] I am not a veterinarian, Son. I do not have the wherewithal to treat all of these people when they come back in here with whatever strain of baboon flu you might have given them.?