[to Archie] You ever worry that you could be replaced by a computer?
Every day of my life.
S8 E14Drops Out
We've got a BOLO out on Dana Espinoza in connection with the apartment homicides. She's considered armed, dangerous, and pregnant.
Oh! Raging hormones and a gun; we got to get that off the street fast.
(while being released from jail for 48 hours to help them, sees Brass and Nick) Well, look who it is: Mom and Dad. (they put cuffs and an ankle bracelet on him) One big happy family, huh?
Yes. Get in the car. (Drops does and Brass shuts the door) I got a feeling I'm gonna regret this.
I already do.
And what makes you so sure that Dana would go to this guy Bruce anyway?
If Dana's on the run, she's gonna need some on the run money, let's say Zigzag, handles certain aspects of my finances.
What? Like laundering the street fig?
No, actually my 401k. Why you always tossin' the pimp card at me, man? I guess to you a black man in a suit is a pimp.
Aw, did I hurt your feelings?
So, who else would Dana go for help? Zigzag doesn't seem to be like a very big talker.
You're a lot funnier than I remember, crime lab, you been goin' to cop-comedy school?
(unenthused after Drops gives him an address) Jackson and D, yippee, we're going to the hood.
S8 E15The Theory of Everything
(looking at the dead deer with a tutu on) Doe. A deer. A female deer...
It's not funny.
It's a little funny. (starts taking pictures)
Doc, I already took photos.
Not for my scrap book, 'ya didn't.
This is animal abuse.
The killing? Sure. The dress? Pet owners put sweaters on chihuahuas.
Together in death, as they were in life.
Guy abuses wildlife, then bursts into flames. I call it karma.
No physical signs that their relationship was anything other than platonic.
I mean, we're the ones encroaching on their habitat, you don't see them shooting us.
Consider this justice for Bambi's mother.
You're a geeky, nerdy guy trapped in a woman's body
So are you.
OOfficer
(about his girlfriend taking his pepper spray) But she dances nights at the Acid Strip.
(chuckles) What, does she clip the can to her g-string?
That'd be a deterrent to stuffing a tip in there, wouldn't it?
Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action.
Winston Churchill.
Ian Fleming.
I should know that I'm a huge James Bond fan.
What aren't you a fan of?
In an interview in the San Francisco Chronicle, October 31, 1996, if I recall correctly, one Professor Gilbert Grissom revealed that as a boy he collected dead animals he found in his Marina Del Ray neighborhood and performed necropsies on them.
Hodges, I want you to stop stalking me.
Anytime you need a sniffer to detect it, my nose has the cyanide gene.
What type of gene turned your nose brown? (referring to the squirrel he just necropsied) Go ahead. You can sew him up. (gets up and leaves)
Will do. And I'll notify next of kin, too. (chuckles, then grimaces at the open body cavity of the squirrel)
Your killer's a ground squirrel?
In a way I argue self defense.
Is it bad when you start thinking none of this sounds too weird anymore?
Oh, it's a bit too freaky how these cases are connected.
Grissom, you always say that there is no such thing as coincidence...
There isn't.
Oh, come on. You got the guy who bursts into flames, just divorced from the woman who was fighting squirrel wars with the Martins...
... Who had hired the exterminator who's drugs were turning everybody's blood green.
And one of his green blooded customers was Evelyn, our lady of tinfoil, who was the last person that Kyle Plank touched before he died.
There's one more connection. Evelyn had 200 bucks, and I'm thinking that when she was run over, she was on her way to buy more Thyocite. I think that Wayne Connor was with Dave Boer waiting for the money to arrive.
Only Evelyn never showed up, Connor lost his temper and Boer killed him in a fight.
And it all started with Kyle Plank, lonely guy with a gut full of moonshine.
String theory.
Grissom theory. This is better than a bedtime story.
String theory is "the theory of everything." Quantum mechanics tells us about the very small. The theory of relativity explains the immense. String theory ties it all together. It proposes that atomic particles are made up of infinitesimal vibrating loops of energy or strings. Each string vibrates at its own frequency, like on a violin, producing notes and these notes make up everything in the universe.
Cosmic symphony.
These strings have been combining and recombining ever since the Big Bang. So, the connections between our victims or any of us are not that extraordinary.
But every one of them thought they were alone.
Too bad they didn't know about Grissom's theory.
In a parallel universe, maybe they're all having breakfast together.
In this universe, maybe we are.
Yeah.
(to Grissom) And you're buying.
No strings attached.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.