CSI: Crime Scene Investigation quotes

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Annie: L.A. over 200 criminalists and you gotta bring your own guy in?
Brass: Well, Rick is like a vampire, he needs to be invited in.
Annie: If this goes to court, Warrick's going to have to come back and testify.
Warrick: Well, you got beaches, bikinis. Free trip to L.A. ? I'm down.

Brass: Hey, Gil, there's something stuck to your shoe... Oh, it's just Sanders.
[Greg gives him a dry look]

Brass: Hey, I uh talked to the manager. All he said was the renter paid cash and the guy; he seemed pretty normal.
Catherine: Normal people don't torture people in storage bins.

Brass: Lepidro. What kind of name is that?
Grissom: It's from Lepidoptera, meaning "butterfly." Walter Clancy started out a gender-dysmorphic caterpillar and turned into a bloody butterfly.
Brass: Love hurts.

Brass: Let me get this straight, Larry. An old man refuses to let you steal his money, so you jack a Hummer and try to run over his taco stand?
Larry: [Embarrassed] Maybe.
Grissom: I think this is the dumbest thing we've ever heard.

Brass: Well, the kid gets murder, mom's an accessory, and dad gets felony explosives. It's a family-value pack.

Brass: [to April Perez] I bought it the hell we all bought it. But your sister was already dead when you raised that alarm. Her body told us that. There was no sexual assault. The evidence told us that, too. So you didn't think this through, sweetheart. So what are we left with? A false police report and a murdered little girl. So it's one to four for the Amber Alert. And for your sister, life imprisonment if it's an accident, and the needle if it's not.
April Perez: I didn't kill Alicia.
Brass: But you know, I get it. I get the picture. I mean, your brother's the center of attention. He's sick, he's dying. Your cells don't match. Your parents have Alicia. She's his savior. So, where do you fit in? What are you to this family?
April Perez: I'm invisible.
Brass: But not anymore you're not. She's dead, and your brother's sick. When he goes...
April Perez: That's crazy, okay. I told you, I didn't kill my sister.
Brass: I want to believe that. Come on. Help me to believe that. It just means you were in on it because you put on one hell of a show. You still using?
April Perez: No.
Brass: Maybe we should run your blood just to be sure, huh?
April Perez: I use now and then to take the edge off.
Brass: So how do you pay for this habit? Are you pimping your sister for drugs, April?
April Perez: Why don't you make up your mind? No signs of rape. If I was selling my sister, there would be, wouldn't there?
Brass: Depends on who you sold it to. You're not gonna talk your way out of this one. You need to get clean.
April Perez: What I need is a lawyer, which means this conversation is over.

Brass: [to Carlos Perez] Wasn't Alicia part of your family? You're her father, you dumb bastard! You're supposed to protect her. What kind of man are you?
Carlos Perez: Guilty.

Catherine (about the victim): The only pathway is from the paramedics. How'd he end up in the middle of the circle? (David looks up at the sky)
David: I have an idea. (Warrick looks up) I'll keep it to myself.

Catherine (to Lindsey): Mouthing off to teachers, slipping grades, and now hitchhiking. I mean what's next Lindsey?
Lindsey (muttering): Stripping.
Catherine: What did you just say? Okay, no phone, no friends, no nothing.
Lindsey: For how long?
Catherine: A month.
Lindsey: Whatever.
Catherine: Hey, you want to make it two?
Lindsey: Dad always said you were a drama queen.
Catherine: Well, what do you expect, Lindsey, since he was always high.
Lindsey: I'd take Dad high over you any day! Nana's coming to pick me up. I'll be out front.

Catherine (to Warrick): I thought you said you were a dork in high school.
Warrick: I was a dork... I still am a dork. But I had dimples. I got a little action.
Catherine: I don't doubt that.

Catherine: Are you doing all this for the sake of the lab or to indict Grissom?
Ecklie: Catherine, there a number of talented CSIs, like yourself, who have put in to be supervisors. I just want to make sure the right people are in the right place.
Catherine: About my request, I really would like to supervise days.
Ecklie: Right. You're a single mother. Better hours. And I bet you could use the extra cash.
Catherine: No, this promotion isn't about money.
Ecklie: Must be nice to be independently wealthy.
Catherine: We're done here, right?
Ecklie: Yeah.

Catherine: Did I ever tell you the city paid me a dollar a square foot to rip out my lawn and replace it with rocks? Because we were in a drought.
Warrick: Are you kiddin' me?
Catherine: No.
Warrick: This city was not made for rain.
(About the victim in the drain)

Catherine: Have you been to bed?
Grissom: Yes.
Catherine: Did you sleep? (pauses) Me neither. She was the same age as Lindsey. She was trying to hitchhike.
Grissom: Where was she going?
Catherine: Fremont Street.
Grissom: Was she buying drugs?
Catherine: No! She's twelve. She's... just so angry. She doesn't talk to me.
Grissom: Well, if enough people knew what was out there hunting them, they'd never leave their house. I think you need to sit her down.
Catherine: Well, I don't want to scare her. I don't want my daughter to be this... frightened, paranoid kid who's always looking over her shoulder.
Grissom: Catherine, there's a big difference between scaring her and preparing her. And all the reasons why you should are in that room. (Catherine contemplates this)

Catherine: I thought you were going to process the scene with Grissom.
Nick: I was. He said he had it covered. Sofia Curtis is up there with him.
Catherine: Right... Ecklie's right hand.
Nick: Hmm?
Catherine: Ever do a case with her?
Nick: Uh-uh. Hey, I heard Grissom stuck you with his speech.
Catherine: A napkin is not a speech.