CSI: Crime Scene Investigation quotes

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Season 1
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'Catherine: (alarmed) What are you doing?
Grissom: Bones are porous. They stick to the tongue (puts piece in mouth again) and this doesn't stick. (puts it back down) It's a piece of rock.
Catherine: I-I hope you had your hepatitis B shot. (Grissom gets up and starts searching for more bones, Catherine follows) Did you? (Cuts to Grissom and Catherine walking toward a cadet, who may have found a piece of bone)
Grissom: Could be a piece of wrist bone.
Catherine: Well, do you want to suck on it? To be sure?

'Greg: I would never doubt your word.
Catherine': Smart man.

'Nick:(walks in) You brought the foundation of the house to our lab.
Grissom: It's a six-by-three-foot section. When the concrete dried it preserved a partial impression of our Jane Doe. Did you find out anything about the house?
Nick: I pulled the permits. Summercliff was built five years ago on nothing but desert.
Grissom: That would explain why the body was so desiccated.
Nick: House was sold subsequent to completion, so the homeowner isn't a suspect. Homicide is running a missing persons check.
Grissom: Well, if it wasn't for a leaky pipe she might have been down there forever.
Nick: I think our killer was counting on that.
(talking to Catherine about where she used to work as stripper)

'Sara: So, ladies of the wedding party, you get a free course in the forensics of sexual intercourse. Secrets of our trade. Lynn, when you had your exam for sexual assault a SART nurse makes a clock like this. (turns around and picks up a piece of chalk to illustrate on the blackboard) This is the vagina. It does tell a monologue. Some bruising is normal when sex occurs. Injuries at 11:00 ... 12:00 or 1:00 indicate consensual sex or what we would call "avid." Injuries around the dinner hour ... five, six, or seven, indicate forced entry. The woman hasn't done anything to help her partner thus sustaining serious bruising.
Sgt. O'Riley: Sidle, I'm going to be just outside the door.

'Warrick: Mountain lions are brutal.
Grissom: And smart... this one evidently knows how to use a scalpel.

(Nick and Grissom discover a skeleton in the wall of a house)
Nick: Ten bucks says the owner sells the house.
Grissom: By law you've got to disclose everything. Three bedrooms, two baths, and a skeleton.

Brass: "Moes." I'm rubbing off on you. (Brass steals a bite of Sara's food)
Sara: No, you're not, and stay away from my seabass.

Brass: (finds a pair of blood covered jeans) Whoa. Is this a pair of jeans under all that blood?
Grissom: [quoting Shakespeare] Yet who would've thought the old man could have so much blood in him?
Brass: What was that?
Grissom': That's Shakespeare.

Brass: (looking at Jesse's polygraph results) Well, the sick bastard is on the up and up. Except your last question. Your "Why"?
Catherine: That they killed the family so they could be together?
Brass: Operator says his respiratory reactions were inconsistent. He's lying.
Nick: We got them both. I don't much care why they did it.
Warrick: I'm with you there.
Grissom: I care. I don't like holes. What are they hiding?

Brass: (to Sara and Grissom, who are trying to identify the pipe used in the bombings) Don't you love the smell of sulfur in the afternoon?

Brass: A kid from a crime lab doing favors for a hooker, can't make the unit look too good, huh, boss?
Grissom: Yeah, well, I'll get into it.
Brass: I bet that's just what Nicky said.
Catherine: [walking past them and toward the crime scene] You two ladies done talking? It's hot out here.
Brass: [Leads them to the body] Kid over there was taking a whiz on the side of the road, found the body.
Grissom: [Touches the body] And she's stiff...like a two-minute burrito that's only been nukes for a minute.
Brass: In this heat?

Brass: An innocent man. Jail's full of them.
Grissom: It only takes one.

Brass: Geez. Haven't these people ever heard of divorce?

Brass: I hate having lunch with you CSIs, you notice everything.

Brass: I ID'd her body through AFIS, and located her husband.
Grissom: Let me guess. Downtown? The Fremont District? (Brass looks disappointed)
Brass: You know, I'm not even going to ask.
(Warrick and Catherine are looking at the Sorenson painting and Nick walks in)