Britta quotes from Community

Britta

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Cancer!" "Oh good, come on in, I thought it was Britta!"

Britta

I don't even believe in God but I love me some Abed.

Britta

The perfect Jeff Winger blow-off class: a class that doesn't exist.

Britta

[To Annie] When you become roomates with friends, the things you love about them become the things that makes you want to smother them with a pillow.

Britta

[To Shirley and Pierce] I am not a whore, and not that I've done the math, but if I were, I'd be the super classy kind that gets flown to Dubai to stay in an underwater hotel.

Britta

You're just jealous because we found a world where I know what I'm doing.

Britta

Wait, so... so, this is a game to you? You put human beings into a state of emotional shambles for a shot at getting in my pants?

Jeff

Why can't you see that for the compliment that it is?

Britta

You may have noticed this morning, not so good at the small talk.

Jeff

Yeah, I like big talk. What's your deal?

Britta

That's not small talk?

Jeff

What's your deal, and is God dead?

Jeff

Hey, you know what today is? [Hands Britta a card] It's the two week anniversary of my horrible first impression.

Britta

There's a card for that?

Jeff

Not specifically, but if you think of grandsons as a metaphor for friendship, I think you'll agree with this Transformer here that it's time for ours to become a man, by reading from the Torah.

Where do I find Mr. Britta?

Britta

I'm Mr. Britta. That's right. I'm a woman, with rights, and you can see my whole face.

Oh, I get it, because I'm Arab I must hate women. Let me tell you something: I love women; in fact, I'm getting a major B-word vibe from you.

Jeff

Wow, I can't believe I missed out on getting involved in this!

[to Jeff] You go host American Idol. [to Britta] And you stop messing with my son, he's a special boy. I raise him, OK? You don't raise him!

Britta

Raising him means letting him follow his dreams.

Dreams are for sleeping.

Britta

You don't know that!

It's clinically proven!

Britta

So's Polio!

You lost me!

Britta

You know, he needs a little spending money.

Jeff

All money is spending money.

Britta

I'm just worried that he's thinking a little bit more intensely about this thing than I am. He says stuff, you know, after...

Jeff

...school?

Britta

After...

Jeff

...dinner mints?

Britta

After...

Jeff

...not having sex?

Dean Pelton

Now, are those the high heel boots he was talking about?

Britta

Yes.

Dean Pelton

Are they comfortable?

Britta

Yeah.

Dean Pelton

I'm just curious, they're cute.

Dean Pelton

Well, it certainly sounds to me that this young lady's only crime is being a hero and wanting to be taller.

Britta

What, she's offended?

Jeff

Girls go in groups. Did you learn nothing from stand up comedy in the nineties?

Britta

Whoa, Yippee kay yay. Thought you weren't a costume guy.

Jeff

You had to have one to get in here, squirrel.

Britta

Oh, so where did you get it? 'Cause I wouldn't think any costume stores would be open this late.

Jeff

Well, I know what you're getting at--

Britta

I think the words you're lookin for are "I own a cowboy outfit. And it is tight." Did you buy it like that? Your toy gun to my head, I'd say yes!