“Advanced Criminal Law” quotes from Community

Listen, I wanted to ask you about that young lady in your Spanish class. You know, the blonde, with the pouty, strident, Cate Blanchett sexuality, and the ridiculous name.

Jeff

Britta.

That's it. Can you imagine living with that? Can you imagine? Unbelievable. Anyway, um, are you two an item, and if so, would that item be impervious to sabotage?

Jeff

You know, you have the savoir faire of a hyena. How is that that you and James Bond come from the same island?

Message received. I'll just wait for you to finish striking out first.

Jeff

Cheers.

Abed

M*A*S*H.

Fawlty Towers. Game over. Have a nice day.

Dean Pelton

Now, are those the high heel boots he was talking about?

Britta

Yes.

Dean Pelton

Are they comfortable?

Britta

Yeah.

Dean Pelton

I'm just curious, they're cute.

Dean Pelton

Well, it certainly sounds to me that this young lady's only crime is being a hero and wanting to be taller.

Silencio por favor. Starburns, that means you.

My name's Alex, dude.

Well, maybe you should spend five hours sclupting that in your face.

The only difference between Señor Chang and Stalin is that I know who Señor Chang is.

Dean Pelton

[introducing the judges for Britta's trial] Our judges include myself, Dean Craig Pelton.

Professor Ian Duncan.

Professor Ben Chang.

Uh, no, you're a teacher, you're not a professor.

Maybe because I don't look like Ron Weasley.

That's the difference, that's the qualifying factor.

Dean Pelton

Gentleman.

Jeff

Point of order. How can Señor Chang be one of the judges? He's the one accussing my client.

Well, you got Prince Charles over here, your drinking buddy.

Oh, got me.

Dean Pelton

It sounds like there are two biases, one on each side, and I go both ways, so... let's strike that.

Jeff

She confessed to protect her classmates, because you were threatening to flunk everyone!

[Incredulous] You did what?

Oh, shut your pompous vortex of overlapping fangs!

Hey, British dentistry is not on trial!

I don't like that fact that you're walking around here like you're better than me in front of my students!

Okay, I'm sorry. Do you mind if we have this conversation in a room with less balls? [To showering man] You're very confident, I'll say that.

But you shouldn't be.