Leonard quotes from Community

Abed

[about the new space simulator] Once we clean it, can we go inside?

Dean Pelton

No. That is a job for some upstanding students, who are training right now in the simulator simulator.

Leonard

[sitting in a cardboard box] Great job on this. Hard to believe I'm not really not really in space.

Leonard

Let's bail.

Pierce

Wait a minute; what about Richard?

Leonard

Screw Richard! It's every man for himself!

Pierce

Richard, are you alright?

Who's Richard? Is that me?

Pierce

Yes.

Then I'm fine. Who are those people running away? Are those my friends?

Pierce

Now, that's a very good question.

Britta

Today is Abed's first therapy session.

Jeff

His what?

Britta

He's been feeling extra vulnerable lately, having lost Troy to the air conditioning repair school, so he's finally going to let me practice my psych skills on him! Give me some credit, Winger. What's the worst that could happen?

Leonard

Classic tee-up.

Britta

Shut up, Leonard; I know about your crooked wang!

Leonard

No such thing as bad press!

My name was Vicki! Tell my story!

Garrett

These are my only pants; I can't get them dirty!

I'm actually British!

Shirley

Leonard, butter ‘em up!

Leonard

You got it!

Leonard

Cirque du so long, you high-stepping acro-bastards!

RAID!

Frankie

Is this what you guys want? You wanna play Cops and Robbers with costumes?

Jeff

Why is that guy a carrot?

Frankie

Because they ran out.

Britta

Who tattled?

Frankie

In what world, Britta, do you see this as covert enough to require tattling? You built a bar in a school! There was lumber involved! I have been letting you hole up down here because it kept you contained and satisfied. Because you are all compulsively defiant. But it wasn't enough. You had to drag Abed back in, and Abed deserves better!

Britta

It finally comes out! "Abed deserves better!"

Leonard

That's been out?

Britta

Shut up, Leonard! I once mistook six people for you at a pharmacy!

Abed

It's not their fault, Frankie. I chose this. These are my friends. I hate emailing Diane; she can't commit to a font. It's pathological, and so am I. This is where I belong.

Frankie

I know you think that, Abed, but you don't know any better.

Leonard

Whoops.

Frankie

Shut up, Leonard! You are...you are old! And you deserve less because of your age! I don't - I don't actually believe that; I'm just trying - I'm just trying to... And everyone here is a...is a fart! A livid fart from the butt of a lesser god! And I'm - I'm better than this... [Frankie leaves]