Edward quotes from Camp Lazlo

Lazlo

I'm just glad that no one got hurt.

Edward

[walks, slams into a pole, and falls onto the ground] I'm hurt!

Lumpus

I'm going to brush my teeth. [walks towards his cabin]

Edward

[to the campers] Do you think we should tell him who's toothbrush he used to clean the latrine?

Edward

[packing his suitcases] I had enough Lazlo, I had enough Camp Kidney! [bucking his seatbelt] I just want to see it in a view mirror, that's all. [drives the cabin into the gate]

[blocks the gate] Hold it! Edward, you know you're not supposed to drive the cabins out of camp.

Edward

Fine! [leaves the cabin] You park it.

Edward

Fine, I'll get some more stamps.

Samson

[covers his eyes] He's still got that rash...

Lazlo

Come on, give me a sign. [sees a tree with a bull's-eye on it] Perfect...

Edward

Lazlo! Don't tell me you were going to go on that defenseless tree, are you?

Lazlo

Well, there's nowhere else to go in camp!

Edward

Did you try Acorn Flats?

Lazlo

Girls have bathrooms?

Edward

Girls have bladders too.

EDWARD!

Edward

[turns around to see his four older brothers standing at the door of the mess hall] It's not what it looks like!

Oh, really? So I guess you didn't lose the lemonade drinking contest? And now I suppose you're gonna tell us that you didn't just admit to inventing these lame fashion diapers? [scoffs as Edward's eyes starts welling up with tears of sadness] Can you bring more shame to our family?

I can't believe we're related. [he, Alpine and Cheesly walk out the door]

Oh, Edward, honey, fashion diapers are so last year.

Edward

But...it's not a diaper, it's a TINKLE TOG!

Lazlo

[meditates] Ooommmm...

[meditate] GooseBerries!

Edward

[walks over] Get up Laz! You make an idiot of yourself!

Lazlo

[while meditating] Edward...we're in the middle of worshipping the gooseberries here. Ooommmm...

Edward

[groans] You're worshiping the weed, you doofus! I cant even look! Why praise those gross things when you got a lovable platypus right here! [everyone didn't listen but worships the goodberry shrub. leaving him annoyed] Hello?! Anyone?! [groans] Stupid Lazlo Holidays! [then rips off calendar just to make it June 2nd and the next holiday was "Edward Day" His own day] If there gonna worship! They might as well worship something worth worshipping!

Edward

This is it folks! The day were all been worshipping! [evil Laugh] Its...EDWARD DAY!!!

[imitates Edward] Keep it down! You Weirdo!

[imitates Edward] Hey look its the queen of England!

[imitates Edward] What is he suppose to be?

Ping Pong

[imitates Edward] A loser!

Edward

Lets try this again. Its...EDWARD DAY!!!

Edward

Lazlo!

Edward

What day is it today?

Lazlo

Why it's Edward Day, silly! I mean... [imitates Edward] Its Edward day can't you read your loser! [laughs] How'd I do?

Edward

[groans in anger] Come on, Lazlo! What does that sign say?

Lazlo

[didn't read the calendar but Lost Scab Collections] Lost Scab Collections C. Samson-

Edward

[starts getting mad even more] No! You dimwit, Above it the calender.

Lazlo

Oh! June 2nd Edward day!... [starts to criticize Edward too] TODAY'S THE DAY WHERE WE ACT LIKE YOU GARBONZO-BRAINS!!!

Edward

THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENS ON MY DAY! I'LL TAKE THIS TO THE HIGHEST AUTHORITY!!!

So it's Edward Day and you don't want it to be Edward Day?

Edward

No! I mean yes! Look here Slinkman. Today is the day that everyone worships me! Me!

Edward

Edward Day!

[writes down a note and gives it to Edward] Right. Now I want you to take this not to Mr. McMuesli.

Edward

What is this? [reads the note] Edward is allowed to jump to the front of the mess hall line. Finally, a little respect to the Ed man.

Edward

Ta da! [no one didn't pay attention to him] Some people just had no class. Is someone gonna take my cloak or am I just gonna stand here all day?

Glad to, Edward. [takes Edward's Cloak]

Edward

This is what I'm talking about.

Nice cape.

Edward

It's a cloak, you peasant.

[imitates Edward] Look at me. I'm the king of Camp Kidney.

Edward

I know where you live, freak! You stain my cloak, you buy my cloak. Capisce? [give Chef McMuesli the note] Chef McMuesli. Chef McMuesli. Look what I got.

Chef McMuesli

Oh it's Edward Day Huh?

Edward

Go ahead, McMuesli. Surprise me.

Chef McMuesli

[imitates Edwars] Give me my lunch and make it snappy, broccoli breath!

Edward

Just give me some lunch, will ya?

Chef McMuesli

[still imitating Edward] Coming right up! One macaroni surprise! Next!

Edward

[sits right next to Samson] You have the honor of sitting with me, peasant.

Samson

[imitates Edward] What do you want to see me? Get sick or something?

Edward

[annoyed] Listen up people. I don't know what you think you're all doing. You should be worshiping me! [everyone imatates Edward] Enough already! I hear by declare Edward Day finished!

Edward

Alright, who's the wise guy? Well, where are ya?

Clam

Well, where are ya?

Edward

Wha? [everyone likes Clam's impersonation of Edward] You're supposed to worship me, not imitate me!

Clam

You're supposed to worship me, not imitate me!

Edward

GRRRR!!!

Clam

GRRRR!!

Edward

That's it!

Clam

That's it!

Edward

[walks out of the Mess Hall] I'm gonna end Edward Day once and for all! [plays the bedtime bugle]

Clam

So I say to the guy "what am I, a duck?"

Raj

It's bedtime already?

Lumpus

[from the window] Trying to nap here!

Edward

That's the bedtime bugle, Lumpus. Go back to bed!

Lumpus

Oh, daylight savings time, huh? Well, keep it down anyway!

Edward

There. problem solved. Edward Day is officially over.

Lazlo

Wanna play shadow puppets?

Samson

I just drop teddy at the Laundromat.

Edward

[goes into his cabin] Phew! Goodbye camp Hello dreamland. [noticed Clam was in his bed and screams] WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BUNK?!

Clam

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BUNK?!

Clam

But I Love being Edward.

Edward

You're not Edward, I'M EDWARD!

Clam

You're not Edward, I'M EDWARD!

Edward

Grr! Hey, stink sacks!

Clam

Hey, stink sacks!

Edward

Will you tell this fruitcake who Edward is?!

Clam

Will you tell that fruitcake who Edward is?!

Skip

Are we dreaming?

Chip

I think so.

See?!

Clam

[from inside] Nobody's interesting!

Edward

[from inside] Don't copy me!

Clam

[from inside] Stop doing that!

Edward

[from inside] Why are you such an idiot?! [the Bean Scouts wake up and goes to Edward's Cabin and complain] You can go to sleep after you tell this imitation who the original Edward is!

Clam

Not in this lifetime, butterball!

Samson

Okay, now that is Edward.

Lazlo

[walks up to Clam and Edward] Excuse me. Pardon me Fred. Pardon me hippo guy. Uh beg pardon pig character that I've not met until now. [chuckles] Looks like we've got ourselves a little mix up. Hmm. What we need here is a good old fashion face off to find the real Edward. Let's start with Edward on the Right.

Edward

Edward on the right?! THERE IS NO EDWARD ON THE RIGHT!!! I'M THE ONLY EDWARD!!!!

BOOOO!!!!

Too wimpy!

Lazlo

Well, I guess that was pretty good.

Clam

I'm surrounded by idiots!

Lazlo

Yeah that's him!

Edward

This camp is only big enough for one Edward!

Edward on the right! Edward on the right!

Edward

[leaves his cabin] If he's Edward then who does that make me Clam? Ugh can't think of the worse...Wait a minute. Wait just one minute.

Lazlo

Oh, um, hello there, Edward. What can I do for ya?

Edward

[imitating] Duh, me Clam.

Lazlo

Do you have something stuck in your throat, Edward?

Edward

No [grabs the picture] Duh, Clam. I am Clam.

Lazlo

Oh, I get it. He likes our picture.

Raj

Oh, flattery will get you everywhere, Edward.

Edward

Clam!!! I'm impersonating Clam, you idiots!!!

Raj

Okay, is he still doing Clam?

Lazlo

I think he's trying to do Edward again. Oooh, look what time it is. Well, Clam, we better get down to the mess hall. We don't want to miss breakfast.

Dave

How come we're having dinner for breakfast?

Ping Pong

This is highly logical.

Lazlo

Good morning, friendship campers!

Raj

Good morning, Camp Kidney!

Lazlo

Come on! You can do it.

Edward

Uh, I'm Clam.

Raj

Ooooh, he's really improving.

Chip

Are we asleep?

Skip

I think so.

Samson

Hey, Ed Man. Why don't you cut in front of me?

Clam

Don't mind if I do.

Chef McMuesli

Oh, hey, Edward. That was a lot of fun yesterday. How about a second helping?

Edward

Hey. Uh who cares about Edward? He's a jerk.

Chip

Is your dream about Edward?

Skip

I think so.

Clam

And I said to the guy "what do I look like a Squirrel Scout?"

Edward

Uh, Clam no think new Edward is so funny.

Samson

Who's that supposed to be?

Clam

Well, if it isn't Clam. Clam here is so short when it rains. He's the last to know.

Edward

[voiceover] That should be me up there getting all that attention. Getting laughs at someone else's expense. He's already had his day with the gooseberry. [gets an idea; spoken] He's not Edward and I can prove it! [laughs] Clam loves gooseberry bushes! [eats gooseberries out of a bush] Mmm gooseberries! Who can resist them?! [eats more gooseberries] Too bad you can't eat any of these delicious gooseberries! Edward hates goose berries! [spits out gooseberries]

Clam

Gooseberries?

Edward

I can't even remember when I last had gooseberries this good!!

Clam

[normal voice] Duh, gooseberries! [drooling]

Samson

Please tell me that's not drool.

Clam

Not Edward anymore! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! [eats the goosberries]

Edward

I win! I'm the king of the Edwards! EUUUUUUUUAGGGH!!! [starts to have his gooseberry allergy] Gooseberry hives?! Well at least I'm still Edward.

Edward

Vamoose, pelican. It's my day and I'm going to the top.

[imitating Edward] In your dreams, you platypus!

Edward

[to Raj] Hey, Regina!

Raj

What did you call me?

Edward

Let me ahead of you in line, will you?

Raj

[imitating Edward] Yeah, sure! Wake up and smell the pinecones!

Edward

[growls, frustrated] Fine way to treat me.

Samson

Ah, Merp! The only reason the cave bean listens to me. Now, that Lazlo took him I have no one to talk to.

Edward

Who are you talking to?

Samson

Nobody.