Edward quotes from Camp Lazlo

Edward

[panicking over the egg] WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!

Chip

Aren't you gonna lay another one?

Skip

We don't have to watch.

Edward

The Ed-man is going to calmly walk over here...he's going to close his eyes...and when he opens them, he's going to wake up from this nightmare. [shuts his eyes tight]

Skip

Sneaky!

Edward

[to himself] WAKE UP, EDWARD! There, it worked!

Edward

HOW?! How can you eat eggs?!

Uh, with a fork?

Edward

You...you animals! [stomps on the floor in fury]

Edward

Wait a minute.

Raj

What?

Edward

Flying marshmallows?

Raj

True story.

Edward

[short pause] Well, that was the best story I ever heard!

Lazlo

Pass the story stone, Raj.

Raj

Your turn, Chip. [extends his arm over Harold, Milt and Larrison, giving the stone to Chip]

Lazlo

You missed someone, pal.

Raj

Who? Skip?

Lazlo

No, somebody closer. [whispering] Harold.

Raj

[also whispering] Who's Harold? [Lazlo points to the blue walrus scout] Oh! [laughs; offering Harold the story stone] Story stone?

Harold

[protesting] Oh, no thanks.

Lazlo

Oh, come on, Harold. Everybody's got a story to tell.

Edward

[shocked and annoyed by Harold's story about bananas and seeing his toenail growing] Ugh, losers.

[trying to cheer him up] I loved your story! [playfully elbows him] The part about the toenail was like, WOW!

Harold

It was stupid. [sulking in disappointment] Why can't I tell cool stories like Raj (does)?

Hey, why can't I get a life? [he and Larrison laugh hysterically]

Harold

I'll tell you why! All we do is stand in the background and watch the cool guys do stuff. I'm sorry but I'm gonne be cool, or my name's not Harold.

But your name's not Harold.

Harold

Well that's what the cool guys call me!

Raj

Um, Harold, I do not think you are a superhero.

Harold

My name's not Harold either. I'll never know who I am.

Edward

[laughing] What a loser! [motions to Milt and Larrison] And if that loser was too cool to hang out with guys, what does that make you? [laughs more]

Harold

[marches over to him and faces him; furiously] You can't talk to my friends like that!

Edward

[sarcastically] Well, if ain't Captain Banana-Pants.

Harold

There's no Banana-Pants here! [strips off his clothes, leaving him only in his underwear] Just me.

Edward

And what are you gonna do?

Harold

I reckon you're about to find out!

Lazlo

[as Bill passes by] Check out this piece of work.

Lumpus

Hey! Why the long face? [he and Lazlo both laugh, nudging each other]

Lazlo

Good one.

Lumpus

Move along.

Lazlo

Watch this. [to Edward] Doofus says "What?"

Edward

What? [realizes he's been tricked; growls in annoyance] Real mature, Lazlo. [storms off]

Dave

Samson, what are you trying to pull?!

Edward

You know what I think?! I think that Samson doesn't even know Presto!

What?!

Edward

[holding Wilbert down when he was trying to run away from him] Why did you (try to) run (away) from me, Beaver?

I thought you were gonna hurt me.

Edward

Oh, Beaver. [laughs] No, I just wanted to see if you wanted to be best friends.

Friends?

Edward

Hey, Beaver, mind if I call you "Beavy?" You like "Beavy," don't you?

Well, actually, my name's not Beaver just because I am a beaver. That doesn't mean--

Edward

Quiet, Beavy, you talk too much! Let's do something manly together, like touching muscles.

Edward

Could you build the dam with me?

Lazlo

We could build the dam, or we could play bad-breathed zombies. Wanna play?

Edward

Yeah! [seeing the Jelly Beans playing bad-breathed zombies, much to his regret] Ugh, what have I done?

Samson

Camp Dinkey's really Camp Kidney?

Lazlo

Come on, fellas. All this time, we've been imagining the coolest camp possible, but maybe it's been Camp Kidney all along.

Edward

Let's face it. There's nothing cool about Camp Kidney.

Cool!

Lazlo

Hey, Edward! You can sleep in my sleeping bag!

Edward

I don't have much of a choice, do I? [gets in Lazlo's sleeping bag] Your pajamas feel nice to! What are they, flannel?

Lazlo

I sleep in the nude.

Edward

"Number 4: Give bear a hug." I don't even give my grandmother a hug. BEAR! HUG!!!!! [runs over to Gordon]

What are you doing?!

Edward

[tackles Gordon to the ground and hugs him] Trust me. I hate this as much as you.

Lazlo

So, what do you guys think Slinkman wants to talk to us about?

Harold

I don't know.

Samson

It's a mystery.

Edward

As long as this isn't about me forcing the sheep to eat mud. Which I didn't! Then I don't care what this is about.

[enters] Hey, fellas.

Edward

[shouting] I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! [shuts his mouth]

Okay.

Edward

I can't believe this! They're not complaining on purpose!

Harold

But why would they do that?

Edward

Don't you see? They're jealous of our pinball!

Samson

Yeah, and our hats!

Edward

No Samson. They're not jealous of our hats.

Samson

Our badges?

Edward

Stop talking.

Lazlo

Now, we've got to decide what to do about Chip and Skip. If they're not stopped, they may destroy the whole world.

Samson

But what can we do?

Edward

We can hit them! It's always worked for me!

Lazlo

Let's try to think of something nonviolent.

Edward

Then I got nothing.