Edward quotes from Camp Lazlo

Raj

[surprised when seeing Chip and Skip pantsed] Goodness gracious ...

Edward

[surprises Raj in order to get him pantsed] Whoops! Ok, [gets a checklist of his victims who are pantsed] let's see now. Raj, Chuck, Samson, Mort, Clam, Bill, Chip, Skip, Dave and Ping-Pong, Gordon, Fred, Norman, Milt. That leaves...Lazlo. [to the scouts] Alright, Beans, listen up, tell Lazlo his pants are as good as mine.

Edward

Hello, Lazlo.

Lazlo

Oh, hi, Edward.

Edward

You hiding from me?

Lazlo

Yeah, I just thought I could lay low here for a while until it flew ooo...Edward! [looks at map] Edward, what are you doing here?

Edward

I live here, you idiot. You know, [uses shrub buddy voice] shrub buddy.

Edward

[after stopping Lazlo from running and uses a shrub as a disguise] Hey, Lazlo.

Lazlo

What? Who's there?

Edward

It's me, the shrub, your buddy.

Lazlo

My shrub buddy?

Edward

Yeah, that's it, shrub buddy. I hear you have some worries about getting pantsed.

Lazlo

Uh, yeah?

Edward

Yeah, well, I thought so. I'm willing to help you out.

Lazlo

You're a shrub.

Edward

Yeah, I know. Your shrub buddy. [reveals a map] Here, check this out. This is a map to a secret hideaway where you can lay low for a couple of days. But I'm not even sure I'm gonna give it to you.

Lazlo

Oh, please, can I have it? Oh, please! Oh, please!

Edward

Well, okay, but don't tell anybody.

Lazlo

Shrub buddy, you're the best buddy in the whole world.

Edward

Yeah, yeah, sure, Lazlo.

Edward

[seeing that Veronica was gone] NO!

Lazlo

YES!

Edward

Oh, and Lazlo?

Lazlo

Yes, Edward?

Edward

Than...clean up this mess, you loser!

Edward

Our own sub?

Lazlo

Here you go. [hands Edward a sub sandwich]

Edward

Submarine sandwiches. Ooh, I'm losing with pride.

Edward

[to Slinkman] How am I gonna explain this to my mother?!

Well, there is a way, but it is very difficult.

Edward

Everything with mother is difficult.

Lazlo

Edward! I'm sorry I got this all wrong, buddy!

Edward

Wait, don't go! I don't wanna get eaten! [clings to Slinkman; crying] My final moments are going to be spent in the mouths of pink-cheeked, bearded, miniature mutants, who inspired hideous lawn ornaments!

Lazlo

[as Raj and Clam crawl out from under the cabin] Raj? Clam? You slipped the magazine under the door.

Raj

Guilty. It's amazing what you can do with tape, scissors, and a picture of Edward. [holds up the new issue of "Dreamboat" with a picture of Edward tapped on it]

Edward

[off-screen, while the Squirrel Scouts chase him down] NO!!!!

Lazlo

Whoa! Poor Edward.

Samson

I'd hate to be that guy.

Raj

[to Lazlo] Slinkman has never gotten us out early for announcements before. [sees Slinkman in his full body cast in the wheelchair, looking very annoyed] Uh-oh.

Listen up, campers. Due to our mishap yesterday involving... Well, [through clenched teeth] I won't mention any names, but their initials are... CHIP AND SKIP!!!

Yay!/Whoo-hoo!

Chip

He said our initials!

We are reinstating the rule that all cabin leaders are responsible for their bunk mates. [Campers gasped] That means keep them from hurting themselves or others.

Edward

Wait a minute. What does that mean, babysitting?

In your case, Edward, it means dung-sitting, 24/7.

Edward

WHAT?!?!

Chip

Edward's gonna dung-sit?

Skip

Does that mean he can sit on us?

Edward

[desperately] No! [grabbing Slikman, causing him to fall down] I don't want to be a dung-sitter! I beg you! You can't do that to me!

I'm sorry, Edward, it's new... camp... policy! [shoves Edward off him with his feet and onto Chip and Skip]

Chip

Hey, Edward, are you gonna sit on us for a while?

Skip

I don't know if you wanna do that. We just had beans.

Edward

[sulking grumpily to himself] I hate my life.

Edward

[looking at a brown, muddy blob] What is it?

Chip

A computer.

Skip

We made it out of twigs and mud.

The current operator is not smart enough to run this computer.

Samson

Why, Edward? Why?

Edward

I don't know, Samson. All I know is that "girls" shouldn't be allowed on our bus.

Samson

[weakly] Hold me.

Samson

Is there gonna be another yeti attack tonight? Cause, I got to get to sleep soon.

Edward

Well, let's just say, [shoves his beak into the tin can phone, creating an ominous echoed sound effect] stay tuned! [takes his beak out of the tin can and snickers]

Edward

[over the radio] They're getting closer! This isn't a stunt! Call the coast guard!

Samson

[enters their cabin] Hey, guys! Chip! Skip! Come on, you two! We're gonna go watch Edward getting eaten by yetis!

Cool!

Lazlo

Come on! Hurry!

Clam

[while carrying Raj] Save Edward! Save Edward!

Dave

Where you going?

Raj

Radio station.

Clam

Save Edward.

Dave

[to Ping Pong] Want to watch Edward get eaten by yetis?

Ping Pong

It beats sitting here.

Edward

[still freaking out] Help! I lied about last night! This is real now! [voice cowering] This has been...Edward...After Dark. [screams as the yetis enter]

Raj

Are we too late?

Lazlo

[solemnly] Yes, Raj.

Raj

[to Clam] Can you put me down now?

Chip

[holding a radio] Goodbye, Edward.

Gretchen

Mine is the best!

Edward

No, mine is the best!

Gretchen

Oh, yeah?!

Edward

Yeah!

Gretchen

Listen, platypus. Frostbite Pops are the best and you know it!

Edward

If you brought your head out of the swamp, you would know that Sputnik Cosmopops are 33 and a third times better your garbage on a stick!

Gretchen

Drill Pops!

Edward

Cosmo Pops!

Lazlo

Isn't great how Gretchen and Edward debate every time we get a visit from the ice cream truck?

Raj

Really...great.

Clam

Dumb argument.

Edward

[firmly] She starts at every time!