I'm not here to make friends, David. I'm here because camp is where kids are sent when their parents don't want to deal with them. Why do you think we return the favour when they hit seventy?
Well, it's definitely not because the bus only comes in from the city to drop off and pick up campers and so far seems to be my only reasonable method of escaping this fucking nightmare of a camp... Definitely not that.
Oh, no. I hope YOU learned, David. I hope you learned that before today, you only had one little bastard to deal with. But now you've got three. Let's go, guys. I'll take you to our tent.
Well, Max, we were going to make handmade ice cream, but someone killed our mascot, and now we need a new one, because every good camp, has a mascot, Max! Also, Gwen is feeling- under the weather. And this is one of the few activities that I can do without her! Uh- Space Kid, don't eat that, it's not space food!
The old taking over the camp from the counselors and tying them to the flagpole routine. I remember my first time. [goes inside the mess hall, taking a stack of bills from the safe, then comes back outside]
Huh? Oh, sorry kids, I've got other things to deal with. Campbell's got a poker game to get to! I'm not gonna give too many details, but let's just say if I win, I could end up being the Prime Minister of Thailand.
Ah, you kids and your dreams! So full of hope and ignorance. Someday you'll learn that no matter how righteous you think your cause is, there's always someone bigger to keep you down! And that day is today and that someone is me.
