WillowI think we could be dead in two days and you're being ironic, detachment guy.
Would it help you if I panic?
Willow
Yes! It'd be swell. Panic is a thing people can share in times of crisis. And everything's really scary now, you know? And I don't know what's going to happen. A-a-and there's all sorts of things that you're supposed to get to do after high school, and I was really looking forward to doing them, and now we're probably just going to die, and I'd like to feel that maybe you would --
[Oz kisses her.]
Willow
What are you doing?
[Oz kisses Willow again, they fall onto Willow's bed.]
Well, what a day this is! Special day. Today is our centennial, the one-hundredth anniversary of the founding of Sunnydale, and I know what that mean to all you kids: not a darn thing. Because today something much more important happens. Today you all graduate from high school. Today all the pain, all the work, all the excitement is finally over. And what's a hundred years of history compared to that? You know what, kids?
Oh my God. He's going to do the entire speech.
Willow
Man, just ascend already.
... for all of you it may be that there is a place in Sunnydale's history, whether you like it or not. It's been a long road getting here. For you. For Sunnydale. There was been achievement, joy, good times. And there has been grief. There's been loss. Some people who should be here today... aren't. But we are. Journeys end. And what is a journey? Is it just.. distance travelled? Time spent? No. It's what happens on the way, it's the things that shape you. At the end of the journey you're not the same. Today is about change. Graduation doesn't just mean your circumstances change, it means you do. You ascend... to a higher level. Nothing will ever be the same. Nothing.
...
It has begun. My destiny. It's a little sooner than I expected. I had this whole section on civic pride. But I guess we'll just skip to the big finish!
Congratulations to the Class of 1999. You all proved more less adequate. This is a time of celebration, so sit still and be quiet. Spit out that gum. Please welcome our distinguished guest speaker, Richard Wilkins III. I saw that gesture. You see me after graduation.
Willow
Am I late? Did we fight?
[clears throat] Well. What a day this is. A special day. Today is our centennial, the 100th anniversary of the founding of Sunnydale, and I know what that mean to all you kids. Not a darn thing. 'Cause today, something much more important happens. Today, you all graduate from high school. Today, all the pain, all the work, all the excitement is finally over. Now, what's 100 years of history compared to that? Do you know what, kids?
Oh, my God. He's going to do the entire speech.
Willow
Man, just ascend already.
Maybe the two things connect. Maybe you have a place in Sunnydale's history, whether you like it or not. It's been a long road getting here, for you, for Sunnydale. There's been achievement, joy, good times. And there's been grief. There's been loss. Some people who should be here today... aren't. But we are. Journey's end. And what is a journey? Is it just... distance traveled? Time spent? No. It's what happens on the way. It's the things that shape you. At the end of the journey, you're not the same. Today is about change. Graduation doesn't just mean your circumstances change. It means you do. You ascent to a higher level. Nothing will ever be the same. Nothing.
[Everyone looks up, noticing the sun being blocked by an eclipse. The Mayor suddenly starts flinching]
And so, as we look back on... on the events that have brought us to this day...
We... We must all-- [cries out in pain] It has begun. My destiny. It's a little sooner than I expected. I had this whole section on civic pride. But I guess we'll just skip to the big finish.
The Watcher Council shrink is heavy into tests. He's got tests for everything. T.A.T.S, Rorschach, associative logic... [grunts] He even has that test to see if you're crazy that asks if you ever hear voices or you ever wanted to be a florist.
Willow
Ooh, I used to want... Wait. Florist means crazy, right? I never wanted to do that.
Willow
Thanks. It's all about emotional control. Plus, obviously, magic. Hey, you want to go to the Espresso Pump and get sugared up on mochas?
I'm gonna pass. Hit the pool and do some laps.
Willow
How come the sudden calisthenics? Aren't you sort of naturally buff, Buff? [chuckles] Buff Buff.
Well, they've got us running around on the physical side, too. A lot of reflex evaluation and precision training, you know. I-I just... well, I-I wanna do...
Willow
[smiles knowingly] Better than Faith?
[slightly embarrassed] So very shallow.
Willow
Competition is natural and healthy. Plus, you'll definitely ace her on the psych tests. Just don't mark the box that says, "I sometimes like to kill people."
I know Faith's not gonna be on the cover of Sanity Fair, but she had it rough. Different circumstances, that could be me.
Willow
No way. Some people just don't have that in them.
Look, I'm sorry. I know how you hate talking about Faith.
Willow
No, it's okay.
No, really, we should just...
Willow
No, it doesn't bother me. I mean it.
Willow
Oh.
Willow
I'm working on it.
Do you want to go out tonight?
Willow
Strangely, I feel like staying at home, and doing my homework, and flossing, and dying a virgin.
You know, you can O.D. on virtue.
Willow
Between me and my evil self, I have double guilt coupons. I see now where the path of vice leads. I mean, she messed up everything she touched. I don't ever want to be like that.
Willow
Oh, hi, listen, I didn't have a chance...
PPercy
Okay, so I did the outline for the paper on Roosevelt. It turns out there were two President Roosevelts, so I didn't know exactly which one to do, so I did both. Um, and I know they're kinda... kinda short, but, um, I can flesh them out. Oh, and-and here's the bibliography. Um, and I can retype that if you want. You just let me know what I did wrong, and I'll get on it.
You want to go out tonight?
Willow
Nine sound good?
[about college] It's nice that you're excited.
Willow
It's just that in High School, knowledge was pretty much frowned upon, you really had to work to learn anything. But here... the energy, the collective intelligence, it's like this force. This penetrating force.. and I can just feel my mind opening up, you know, and letting this place just thrust into and spurt knowledge into... [considers what she's saying] That sentence ended up in a different place than it started out in.
Willow
Ah! "Introduction to the Modern Novel. A survey study of 20th century novelists." Open to freshmen. You might like that.
Introduction to the Modern Novel? I'm guessing I'd probably have to read the modern novel.
Willow
Maybe more than one.
I like books. I just don't want to take on too much. Do they have an introduction to the Modern Blurb?
Willow
Oh! "Short Story."
Willow
Oh, no, it conflicts with psych.
Maybe I shouldn't take psych.
Willow
You gotta. It-It's fun, and-and you can use it as your science requirement. Anyway, Professor Walsh is supposed to be great. She's like world-renowned.
How do you get to be renowned? I mean, like, do you have to be "nowned" first?
Willow
Yes, first, there's the painful "nowning" process. Wait! "Images of Pop Culture." This is good. They-they watch movies, uh, TV shows, even commercials.
Willow
[laughs] Isn't college cool?
Willow
Well, you did sort of wait till the last minute with your course selection.
Sorry, Miss "I chose my major in my group."
Willow
That's an exaggeration. I just, you know, think it's good to be prepared. Don't want to be caught unawares.
Well, I've been busy. It's been a very slay-heavy summer. Just haven't had a whole lot of time to think about life at UC Sunnydale.
Willow
It's exciting though, isn't it?
Yeah. It's gonna be an adjustment.
Willow
Yeah, it's like, 5 miles away. [chuckles] Just uncharted territory.
Giles said I have to be secret identity gal again.
Willow
That makes sense.
It's gonna be tough, though. With a roommate.
Willow
Yeah.
I'm psyched about college, definitely. I just need to figure out how it's gonna work with my extracurricular activities. I just can't let it take the edge off my slaying. I gotta stay sharp. [sighs] Is this guy ever gonna wake up?
So, all that other stuff in there, that's just gonna sit in there, right? I mean, no one owns it in the strictest sense.
Dibs on the rowing machine.
Willow
Hi, Giles.
I've been awake all night. I know I'm supposed to teach you self-reliance, but I can't leave you out there to fight alone. Uh, to hell with what's right. I-I'm ready to back you up. Let's find the evil and-and-and fight it together.
Great. Thanks. We'll get right on that.
Willow
Hey, Giles, can you get this box on top?
So, college not so scary after all, huh?
It's turning out to be a lot like high school, which I can handle. At least I know what to expect.
Willow
How's that?
Mm-mmm. A little to the left. There. Perfect. Oh, I'm so glad you're here, Will. I can already feel all that bad Kathy karma just draining away.
Willow
About that-- the Kathy thing. I'm sorry I doubted you.
You're completely forgiven. I mean, you had reason to doubt. Except for the soul-sucking thing, I bet Kathy was pretty regular as far as roomies go.
Willow
That's a pretty big "except."
I guess. I'm just glad that it was Kathy's demony ways making me no-fun Buffy. I've always thought I was pretty easy going, you know? It's not like I have the big issues. I don't burn incense or--
Willow
You gonna finish this?
So what I'm wondering is, does this always happen? Sleep with a guy, and he goes all evil? God, I'm just a fool.
Willow
Well, maybe you made a mistake, but that's okay. Next time, what?
Parker said it's okay to make mistakes. It was sweet.
Willow
No, it wasn't. He was saying that so you would take a chance and sleep with him. He's a poophead.
You're right. He's... manipulative and shallow. And why doesn't he want me? Am I repulsive? If there was something repulsive about me, you'd tell me, right?
Willow
I'm your friend. I would call you repulsive in a second.
Maybe Parker and I could still work it out. Do you-you think that we could still work it out?
Willow
I think you're missing something about the whole poophead principle.
You know, you go on ahead. I-I think I'm gonna go take a walk.
Willow
Are you sure?
Willow
[about her costume] I'm Joan of Arc. I figured we had a lot in common, seeing as how I was almost burned at the stake, plus she has that close relationship with God.
[Oz opens his jacket and reveals a name tag that says "God."]
Of course. I wish I'd thought of that before I put down my deposit. I could've been God.
[The demon Gachnar slowly emerges from the pentacle in the floor... and is revealed to be just six inches tall.]
[looks down mockingly at Gachnar] Big overture, little show.
GGachnar
[in a squeaky voice]: I am the Dark Lord of Nightmares! The Bringer of Terror! Tremble before me! Fear me!
Willow
He... he's so cute!
[Xander pokes a finger at the tiny demon, speaking to it as if to a puppy.]
Who's a little fear demon? Come on! Who's a little fear demon?
Don't taunt the fear demon.
[After defeating Gachnar, Giles looks back at the small image of him in the book]
Some quality treats here, Giles.
This is much better. There is no problem that cannot be solved by chocolate.
Willow
I think I'm gonna barf.
That's your scary costume?
Oh, bloody hell. The inscription.
I should've translated the Gaelic inscription under the illustration of Gachnar.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer · 894 quotes
