Mayor Wilkins quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Mayor Wilkins

There's more than one way to skin a cat. And I happen to know that's factually true.

Faith

You sent your boy to kill me.

Mayor Wilkins

That's right, I did.

Faith

He's dust.

Mayor Wilkins

I thought he might be, what with you standing here and all.

Faith

I guess that means you have a job opening.

Mayor Wilkins

Well, what a day this is! Special day. Today is our centennial, the one-hundredth anniversary of the founding of Sunnydale, and I know what that mean to all you kids: not a darn thing. Because today something much more important happens. Today you all graduate from high school. Today all the pain, all the work, all the excitement is finally over. And what's a hundred years of history compared to that? You know what, kids?

Buffy

Oh my God. He's going to do the entire speech.

Willow

Man, just ascend already.

Buffy

Evil!

Mayor Wilkins

... for all of you it may be that there is a place in Sunnydale's history, whether you like it or not. It's been a long road getting here. For you. For Sunnydale. There was been achievement, joy, good times. And there has been grief. There's been loss. Some people who should be here today... aren't. But we are. Journeys end. And what is a journey? Is it just.. distance travelled? Time spent? No. It's what happens on the way, it's the things that shape you. At the end of the journey you're not the same. Today is about change. Graduation doesn't just mean your circumstances change, it means you do. You ascend... to a higher level. Nothing will ever be the same. Nothing.

Mayor Wilkins

It has begun. My destiny. It's a little sooner than I expected. I had this whole section on civic pride. But I guess we'll just skip to the big finish!

Principal Snyder

Congratulations to the Class of 1999. You all proved more less adequate. This is a time of celebration, so sit still and be quiet. Spit out that gum. Please welcome our distinguished guest speaker, Richard Wilkins III. I saw that gesture. You see me after graduation.

Willow

Am I late? Did we fight?

Mayor Wilkins

[clears throat] Well. What a day this is. A special day. Today is our centennial, the 100th anniversary of the founding of Sunnydale, and I know what that mean to all you kids. Not a darn thing. 'Cause today, something much more important happens. Today, you all graduate from high school. Today, all the pain, all the work, all the excitement is finally over. Now, what's 100 years of history compared to that? Do you know what, kids?

Buffy

Oh, my God. He's going to do the entire speech.

Willow

Man, just ascend already.

Buffy

Evil.

Mayor Wilkins

Maybe the two things connect. Maybe you have a place in Sunnydale's history, whether you like it or not. It's been a long road getting here, for you, for Sunnydale. There's been achievement, joy, good times. And there's been grief. There's been loss. Some people who should be here today... aren't. But we are. Journey's end. And what is a journey? Is it just... distance traveled? Time spent? No. It's what happens on the way. It's the things that shape you. At the end of the journey, you're not the same. Today is about change. Graduation doesn't just mean your circumstances change. It means you do. You ascent to a higher level. Nothing will ever be the same. Nothing.

Mayor Wilkins

And so, as we look back on... on the events that have brought us to this day...

Buffy

Come on.

Mayor Wilkins

We... We must all-- [cries out in pain] It has begun. My destiny. It's a little sooner than I expected. I had this whole section on civic pride. But I guess we'll just skip to the big finish.

Buffy

Hey! You remember this? I took it from Faith. Stuck it in her gut. Just slid in her like she was butter. You wanna get it back from me, Dick?

Mayor Wilkins

Well, gosh.

Faith

Are you serious about this place?

Mayor Wilkins

Of course I am. No Slayer of mine is gonna live in a fleabag hotel. That place has a very unsavory reputation. There are immoral liaisons going on there.

Faith

Yeah, plus all the screwing. This place is the kick.

Mayor Wilkins

We'll keep your old place, in case you need to see your friends there, but from now on... Oh, hey, hey, hey. Shoes, shoes.

Faith

Thanks, Sugar Daddy.

Mayor Wilkins

Now, Faith, I don't find that sort of thing amusing. I'm a family man. Now, let's kill your little friend. Don't worry. I wouldn't ask you to do it. Not this early in the relationship. Besides, I think a vampire attack would less suspicious, anyway. In the meantime, let's take a look at the rest of the apartment, huh? If I'm not mistaken, some lucky girl has herself a PlayStation.

Faith

No way.

Mayor Wilkins

Yes way. [chuckles]

Faith

Thanks, sugar daddy.

Mayor Wilkins

Now Faith, you know I don't like that. I'm a family man. Now, let's kill your little friend.