Buffy the Vampire Slayer · Season 4
“The Freshman” · Season 4
In this episode: Buffy Summers (7), Willow Rosenberg (4), Xander Harris (3), Rupert Giles (1), Oz (1)
[about college] It's nice that you're excited.
It's just that in High School, knowledge was pretty much frowned upon, you really had to work to learn anything. But here... the energy, the collective intelligence, it's like this force. This penetrating force.. and I can just feel my mind opening up, you know, and letting this place just thrust into and spurt knowledge into... [considers what she's saying] That sentence ended up in a different place than it started out in.
[spots Oz] Ooh, boyfriend! It's my on campus boyfriend!
Oh no, I forgot to pick mine up, the line's probably really long now too.
Of Human Bondage, have you ever read it?
Oh, I'm not really into porn... I mean, I'm just trying to cut way back.
You saw the Grand Canyon?
Well, I saw the movie Grand Canyon, on cable. Really lame.
Huh?
Basically, I got as far as Oxnard and the engine fell out of my car, and that was literally. So I ended up washing dishes at the fabulous "Ladies Night" club for about a month and a half while I tried to pay for the repairs. Nobody really bothered me, or even spoke to me, until one night, when one of the male strippers called in sick, and no power on this earth will make me tell you the rest of that story. Suffice to say, I traded my car in for one that wasn't entirely made of rust, came trundling back home to the arms of my loving parents, where everything is exactly as it was, except I sleep in the basement and I have to pay rent. How's college?
Male strippers?
No power on this earth!
Buffy, this is all about fear. It's understandable, but you can't let it control you. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to anger. - No, wait, hold on. - Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side. - Hold on, no. Ahm... First you get the women, then you get the money, then you... - OK, can we forget that?
Thanks for Dadaist pep talk. I feel much more abstract now.
The point is, you're Buffy.
Yeah. Maybe in high school I was Buffy.
And now in college you're Betty Louise?
Yeah, I'm Betty Louise Plotnick of East Cupcake, Illinois. I might as well be.
[...] Let me tell you something. When it's dark and I'm all alone, and I'm scared or freaked out or whatever, I always think “What would Buffy do?” You're my hero. OK, sometimes when it's dark and I'm all alone, I think “What is Buffy wearing?”
Anything?
Ah! "Introduction to the Modern Novel. A survey study of 20th century novelists." Open to freshmen. You might like that.
Introduction to the Modern Novel? I'm guessing I'd probably have to read the modern novel.
Maybe more than one.
I like books. I just don't want to take on too much. Do they have an introduction to the Modern Blurb?
Oh! "Short Story."
Well, that's good.
Oh, no, it conflicts with psych.
Maybe I shouldn't take psych.
You gotta. It-It's fun, and-and you can use it as your science requirement. Anyway, Professor Walsh is supposed to be great. She's like world-renowned.
How do you get to be renowned? I mean, like, do you have to be "nowned" first?
Yes, first, there's the painful "nowning" process. Wait! "Images of Pop Culture." This is good. They-they watch movies, uh, TV shows, even commercials.
For credit?
[laughs] Isn't college cool?
How did I miss that one?
Well, you did sort of wait till the last minute with your course selection.
Sorry, Miss "I chose my major in my group."
That's an exaggeration. I just, you know, think it's good to be prepared. Don't want to be caught unawares.
Well, I've been busy. It's been a very slay-heavy summer. Just haven't had a whole lot of time to think about life at UC Sunnydale.
It's exciting though, isn't it?
Yeah. It's gonna be an adjustment.
Yeah, it's like, 5 miles away. [chuckles] Just uncharted territory.
Giles said I have to be secret identity gal again.
That makes sense.
It's gonna be tough, though. With a roommate.
Yeah.
I'm psyched about college, definitely. I just need to figure out how it's gonna work with my extracurricular activities. I just can't let it take the edge off my slaying. I gotta stay sharp. [sighs] Is this guy ever gonna wake up?
So, all that other stuff in there, that's just gonna sit in there, right? I mean, no one owns it in the strictest sense.
It seems wrong somehow.
Dibs on the rowing machine.
Buffy!
Hi, Giles.
What's with the arsenal?
I've been awake all night. I know I'm supposed to teach you self-reliance, but I can't leave you out there to fight alone. Uh, to hell with what's right. I-I'm ready to back you up. Let's find the evil and-and-and fight it together.
Great. Thanks. We'll get right on that.
The evil is this way?
My room is.
Hey, Giles, can you get this box on top?
Um...
So, college not so scary after all, huh?
It's turning out to be a lot like high school, which I can handle. At least I know what to expect.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
