Buffy Summers quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy

Okay, I come to see you, to help you, and you treat me like I'm just... your ex.

Angel

Well, technically--

Buffy

Shut up! And then you order me out of your city, and then you come here and start pounding on my boyfriend? I would really like to know, what the hell are you trying to do?

Angel

I was trying to make things better.

Buffy

[laughs]

Angel

[chuckles] Well... [laughs] Aw, well. Huh. It's, uh, going pretty good, don't you think?

Buffy

Swell.

Angel

You know... [chuckles] I couldn't leave it like that. The way I spoke to you... I came to apologize. I... I had no right.

Buffy

And Riley?

Angel

I got jumped by some soldiers. He came in in the middle. And he wasn't real forthcoming with the benefit of the doubt.

Buffy

Put yourself in his place.

Angel

I get it.

Buffy

Look, you weren't entirely wrong, what you said in L.A. We don't live in each other's worlds anymore. I had no right to barge in on yours and make judgments.

Angel

I'm still sorry.

Buffy

Thank you.

Angel

And next time, I'll apologize by phone.

Buffy

[laughs]

Angel

Uh, things are pretty tense around here.

Buffy

They really are.

Angel

Can I do anything?

Buffy

Honestly, I think the best thing you can do right now is--

Angel

Okay.

Buffy

It means a lot that you came.

Angel

Oh, and, Riley?

Buffy

Yeah?

Angel

I don't like him.

Buffy

Thank you.

Xander

And if I did join the army, I'd be great. You know why? Because they might give me a job that couldn't be done by any well-trained Border Collie.

Giles

That's it. I'm going to bed.

Willow

No, you'd do wonderful in the army. Hey, do you think the umbilibal cord between you and Anya could stretch that far?

Xander

I knew it. I knew you hated her!

Willow

Look, I'm not the one being judgmental here. I'll leave that territory to you and Buffy.

Buffy

Judgmental? If I was any more open-minded about the choices you two make, my whole brain would fall out.

Xander

Oh, and superior. Don't forget that. Just because you're better than us doesn't mean you can be all superior.

Buffy

You guys, stop this. What happened to you today?

Willow

It's not today. Buffy, things have been wrong for a while, don't you see that?

Buffy

[perturbed] Well, what do you mean, wrong?

Willow

Well, they certainly haven't been right since Tara. We have to face it, you can't handle Tara being my girlfriend.

Xander

No! It was back before that! Since you two went off to college and forgot about me. Just left me in the basement to-- Tara's your girlfriend?

Giles

[from upstairs, still drunk] Bloody hell.

Buffy

Enough! All I know is you want to help, right? Be part of the team?

Willow

I don't know anymore.

Xander

Clearly not wanted.

Buffy

No! No, you said you wanted to go. So let's go, all of us. We'll walk into that cave with you two attacking me and the funny drunk drooling on my shoe. Hey! Hey, maybe that's the secret way to killing Adam!

Xander

Buffy.

Buffy

Is that it? Is that how you can help? You're not answering me! How can you possibly help? So... I guess I'm starting to understand why there's no ancient prophecy about a Chosen One and her friends. If I need help, I'll go to someone I can count on.

Giles

I do speak Sumerian, it's not that. Only an experienced witch can incant it, and you have to be within striking distance of the subject.

Xander

See what you get for taking French instead of Sumerian?

Buffy

What was I thinking?

Xander

So, no problem, all we need is combo-Buffy. Her with Slayer strength, Giles' multi-lingual know-how and Willow's witchy power. Yeah, don't tell me, I'm just full of helpful suggestions!

Giles

As a matter of fact you are.

Buffy

Where's Anya?

Xander

Oddly, Anya decided not to join us, despite all the fun we had at our last meeting.

Willow

And I don't think Tara felt welcome.

Buffy

Why? Because of the things that we said? Will, who told you that we were talking behind your back, specifically?

Willow

Well, I... Spike, specifically, but...

Buffy

And who told you that we thought you'd be better off joining the army?

Xander

That's not... exactly what he said.

Giles

Well, um, S-Spike can be very convincing when-when, uh, I'm very stupid.

Buffy

He played us. He wanted us to fight to split us up. That's where it came from, the stuff we said the other night.

Giles

Of course. Well, piffle. Let's-let's move on.

Xander

I'm movin'.

Willow

Me, too.

Buffy

Good. Great.

Willow

So why do you think Spike made with the head games?

Xander

He's all dressed up with no one to bite. He's got to get his ya-yas somehow.

Buffy

I think it was more than that. I think it was Adam.

Xander

Spike's working for Adam?! After all we've done... Nah, I can't even act surprised.

Buffy

I just went to Adam's lair, and he was gone, but Spike just happened to be there. And he made this big noise about getting the information off those encrypted disks.

Willow

Oh, I decrypted 'em. Well, they decrypted themselves, but I almost had it.

Giles

What did they say?

Willow

Bunch of stuff we already knew about 314. But it also said there's some final phase where Adam manufactures a bunch of creepy cyber-demonoids like him. There's a special lab in the Initiative, but it didn't say where.

Buffy

Adam fed Spike those disks. It has to be. He wanted me to know about his evil-guy assembly line. This lab, it's in the Initiative?

Willow

Hidden somewhere.

Buffy

Well, give the demon his due. He thought this one out.

Willow

What do you mean?

Buffy

You know how overcrowded the containment cells have been at the Initiative? Those demons were just too easy to catch. It's like they wanted in that place.

Giles

The Trojan horse.

Buffy

Adam's gonna make sure the demons attack the Initiative from the inside.

Xander

Demons versus soldiers. Massacre, massacre.

Willow

And Adam has a neat pile of body parts to start assembling his army. Diabolical yet... gross.

Xander

Does anybody else miss the Mayor, "I just want to be a big snake?"

Buffy

I've got to shut him down, Giles. His final phase is about to start.

Giles

We need to warn the Initiative.

Buffy

They're not gonna listen to me.

Willow

Riley?

Buffy

He's a deserter. He got some bad news, anyway, and kind of took off.

Xander

Okay, I'm confused again. Adam has the evil plan. Why is he so anxious for you to know about it?

Buffy

He wants me there. Probably figures I'll even the kill ratio.

Xander

He's not worried you might kill, oh, say, him?

Buffy

No. He's really not.

Giles

There's certainly no lack of supplies. Only wish I knew which ones would kill Adam.

Buffy

According to Riley, his power sourse is a uranium core embedded somewhere inside his chest, probably near the spine?

Xander

Great. So we just ask him to lie down quietly while we do some exploratory surgery.

Willow

What about magic? Some kind of, I don't know, uranium-extracting spell? I know, I'm reaching.

Giles

Perhaps a paralyzing spell. Only I can't perform the incantation of this.

Willow

Right. Don't you have to speak it in Sumerian or something?

Giles

I do speak Sumerian. It's not that. Only a-an experienced witch can incant it, and you'd have to be within striking distance of the subject.

Xander

See what you get for taking French instead of Sumerian?

Buffy

What was I thinking?

Xander

So, no problem. All we need is Combo-Buffy, her with Slayer strength, Giles' multilingual know-how, and Willow's witchy power. Yeah, don't tell me, I'm just full of helpful suggestions.

Giles

As a matter of fact, you are.

Buffy

Are you sure you'll be alright? 'Cause I can be there in the morning.

Riley

It's just a debriefing. They're not gonna make me disappear and they're not pinning anything on me. I got Graham and a lot of the guys testifying I'm the reason they're alive. I might actually got out of this with an honorable discharge.

Giles

In return for your silence, no doubt.

Riley

Oh, yeah. Having the inside scoop on the administration's own Bay of Mutated Pigs is definitely an advantage.

Willow

It's like you're blackmailing the government. In a... patriotic way.

Riley

I'll call you when it's over.

Xander

Dinner is served. And my very own recipe.

Willow

Ooh. You pushed the button on the microwave that says popcorn?

Xander

Actually, I pushed defrost, but, um, Joyce was there in the clinch.

Riley

Well, you guys have fun tonight. It was very nice meeting you.

Joyce

It was nice meeting you. Finally.

Riley

Bye.

Buffy

Bye.

Joyce

Did you notice how pointedly I said finally?

Buffy

No.

Willow

The First Slayer. Wow.

Xander

And not big with the socialization.

Willow

Or the floss.

Giles

Somehow our joining with Buffy and invoking the essence of the... the Slayer's power was an affront to the source of that power.

Buffy

You know, you could have brought that up to us before we did it.

Giles

I did, I said there could be dire consequences.

Buffy

Yes, but you say that about chewing too fast.

Joyce

I'm, uh, guessing I missed some fun.

Willow

The spirit of the First Slayer tried to kill us in our dreams.

Joyce

Oh, you want some hot chocolate?

Willow

Yeah.

Xander

Yeah, please.

Joyce

Uh, Xander?

Xander

Yes, what, Joyce... uh, Buffy's mom.

Joyce

Be my kitchen buddy again, help me carry?

Xander

Yes, sure, Buffy's mom.

Giles

Are you alright?

Buffy

Yeah. I think I might jump in the shower.

Giles

You seem a bit...

Buffy

A little. The First Slayer. I never really thought about it. It was intense. I guess you guys got a taste of that, huh?

Xander

Yeah, from now on you keep your Slayer friends out of my dreams, is that clear?

Willow

She's not good for the sleeping.

Buffy

Uh... Well, at least you all didn't dream about that guy with the cheese. Don't know where the hell that came from.

Buffy

So let me get this straight. You're... Dracula. The guy. The Count.

I am.

Buffy

And you're sure this isn't just some fanboy thing? Because... I've fought more than a couple of pimply overweight vamps that called themselves Lestat.

You know who I am. As I would know without question that you are Buffy Summers.

Buffy

You've heard of me?

Naturally. You're known throughout the world.

Buffy

Naw. Really?

Why else would I come here? For the sun? I came to meet the renowned... killer.

Buffy

Yeah, I prefer the term Slayer. You know, killer just sounds so...

Naked?

Buffy

Like I... paint clowns or something. I'm the good guy, remember?

Perhaps, but your power is rooted in darkness. You must feel it.

Buffy

No. You know what I feel? Bored.

Buffy

Okay. That's cheating.

I knew you'd come.

Buffy

Why? Because I'm under your thrall? [suddenly comes back to herself and pulls out her stake] Well, guess again, pal.

Put the stake down.

Buffy

OK. [puts it down, then looks at her hand in surprise] Right. That... was not... you. [sounding unconvinced] I did that. I did that because ... I wanted to.

Buffy

[looks nervously around her] Maybe I should rethink that thrall thing. [whimpers a little]

Xander

Where is he?! Where's the creep that turned me into his spider-eating man-bitch?

Buffy

He's gone.

Xander

Dammit! You know what? I'm sick of this crap! I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey!

Buffy

Check. No more butt-monkey.

Buffy

I'm out of here. Riley and I are going to the movies.

Joyce

Okay. Have a good time.

Buffy

What are you doing here?

Joyce

Buffy? If you're going out, why don't you take your sister?

[together] Mom!

Buffy

So Giles and I worked out a whole schedule around school, a block of time every day just to focus on my new Slayer training.

Willow

That's a work ethic! Buffy, you're developing a work ethic!

Buffy

Oh no, do they make an ointment for that?

Willow

People gotta respect a solid work ethic.

Buffy

So... I won't be taking drama with you.

Willow

What? You have to, you promised!

Buffy

Well, I know, but Giles says that it just -

Willow

The hell with Giles!

Giles

I can hear you, Willow.

Willow

Drama is just Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, you can blow off training Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, can't you?

Buffy

What happened to you people gotta respect a work ethic?

Willow

Other people, not me! There's a whole best-friend loophole!

Buffy

You are going to be in so much trouble when we get home! [swings ax]

Dawn

Yeah, well, I'm telling Mom you slayed in front of me.

Buffy

Fine! I'll just tell her that you ran out of the house in the middle of the night! [swings ax] That you got Anya hurt! [swings ax] Invited a vampire in! [swings ax] Got kidnapped! ...

Buffy

Giles, are you sure about this?

Giles

Why wouldn't I be?

Buffy

Well, aside from the fact that most magic shop owners in Sunnydale have the life expectancy of a Spinal Tap drummer... and have you ever run a store before?

Giles

I was a librarian for years. This is exactly the same, except people pay for the things they don't return. It'll give me focus, increase my resources. And it'll prevent you lot from trampling all over my flat at all hours. There may even be some space for you to train in the back.

Buffy

Boy, you've really thought this through... How bored were you last year?

Giles

I watched "Passions" with Spike. Let us never speak of it.

Giles

There is nothing but you. You are the center. And within you, there is the core of your being... of what you are. Find it. Breathe into it. Focus inward. Let the world fall away. Fall away. Fall away.

Buffy

[gasps]

Dawn

Can we go now?