Riley Finn quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Willow

OK, say that I help and you start a conversation. It goes great. You like Buffy, she likes you. You spend time together, feelings grow deeper and one day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops and it feels like the whole world's made for you two and you two alone, until the day one of you leaves and rips the still-beating heart from the other, who's now a broken, hollow mockery of the human condition.

Riley

[taken aback] Yep, that's the plan.

Willow

I figured it was.

Riley

Hey.

Buffy

Hi.

Riley

Listen, sorry about last night.

Buffy

No, no, I was rude. I just felt like being alone. Sometimes it's nice to be out by yourself at night.

Riley

I hear that. Got to be careful, though. A lot of strange... people out there.

Buffy

Oh, yeah.

Riley

How's Willow doing?

Buffy

Okay. Course, that stupid fraternity prank on our dorm didn't help any.

Riley

That's right. I forgot you guys live in Stevenson.

Buffy

You knew that?

Riley

Well, Willow and I were... I thought she might be able to help me on a project.

Buffy

Really? That work out for you?

Riley

Don't know yet.

Buffy

Uh, last night... at the party, you wanted to tell me something?

Riley

Oh, yeah. Very important stuff. I don't remember any of it now. But, you would've been fascinated. Possibly even moved. Did Willow tell you I like cheese?

Buffy

You're a little peculiar.

Riley

I can live with that.

Buffy

[chuckles] You thought I was serious?

Riley

Well, no. Um, you weren't serious?

Buffy

Oh, God, please. I'm marrying a guy named Spike?

Riley

Maybe. We haven't known each other that long.

Buffy

[chuckles] No. It's just... I saw that fear in your eyes when you caught me looking at wedding dresses, and I had to give you a hard time.

Riley

I did not have fear in my eyes.

Buffy

Yes, you did. You were looking at me like I was a cartoon ball and chain.

Riley

So you decided to tell me you're getting married.

Buffy

Uh-huh.

Riley

So... you're insane.

Buffy

Uh-huh.

Riley

But you're still single.

Buffy

Yes.

Riley

Okay then. Just another little piece of the Buffy puzzle.

Buffy

You really have a lot to learn about women, Riley.

Riley

You're gonna teach me.

Professor Walsh

It's only our methods that differ; we use the latest in scientific technology and state of the art weaponry and you, if I understand correctly, poke them with a sharp stick.

Buffy

Er, its more effective then it sounds-

Maggie Walsh

Oh, I'm - quite sure of that. As I'm just as sure that we can learn much from each other. I'm working on getting you clearance into the Initiative, I think you'll find the results of our operation most impressive. Agent Finn here alone has killed and captured... How many is it?

Riley

Seventeen : eleven vampires, six demons.

Buffy

Oh... wow. I mean, that's... seventeen.

Maggie Walsh

What about you?

Buffy

Me?

Maggie Walsh

How many Hostiles would you say you've slain?

Buffy

[uncomfortably searches for the right words]

Riley

But you killed the- You did that thing with that- Uh, you drowned. And the snake! Not to mention... daily... slayage of... Wow.

Buffy

It's no big, really. Hey, who wants ice cream?

Riley

Buffy. When I saw you stop the world from, you know, ending, I just assumed that was a big week for you. Turns out I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of "apocalypse".

Buffy

[Light-heartedly] Look, if you were fighting since you were fifteen, you'd have a hefty resume too!

Riley

Fifteen?!

Maggie Walsh

So, she walks in and the rules just suddenly break.

Riley

Um, pretty much.

Maggie Walsh

Be careful with her. She reacts on instinct. There's no discipline there. Her loyalties are uncertain.

Riley

You won't be disappointed in her. She's good at what she does, and she is the truest soul I've ever known.

Maggie Walsh

Oh, no. [laughing] Oh, no. Spontaneous poetic exclamations. Lord, spare me college boys in love.

Riley

I'm just saying she'll work out. You'll be proud of her.

Maggie Walsh

You want to know what I think? I think you're probably right.

Riley

Regret to report Hostile 17 still at large. I've left Beta Team to comb the area but the tracer's--

Maggie Walsh

[interrupting, with faked sorrow] Riley, something's happened. I-I don't know what to say. It-It's about Buffy.

Riley

Buffy?

Maggie Walsh

Two of our hostiles broke free and escaped into the tunnels. She went after them on her own. She's dead, Riley.

Riley

[utterly shocked] What?

Maggie Walsh

I did everything I could to stop her. I told her to wait for a back-up team. She kept insisting she didn't need any team, she could handle it by herself. I-I'm so, so sorry.

Riley

[now into shellshock] I don't understand.

Maggie Walsh

I know what she meant to you.

Riley

How could this happen?

Maggie Walsh

She was a very, very special girl. I didn't understand at first, (sighs) but she had something. I don't know, maybe, maybe I could've stopped her. [Behind Walsh, the com-cam image on the monitors starts to move. Buffy appears in its picture] It's hard not to blame myself.

Buffy

[speaking through the monitor] Professor Walsh? That simple little recon you sent me on... wasn't a raccoon. [Walsh slowly faces the monitors] Turns out it was me trapped in the sewers with a faulty weapon and two of your pet demons. If you think that's enough to kill me, you really don't know what a Slayer is. Trust me when I say you're gonna find out.

Maggie Walsh

Riley. Agent Finn, I order you to stop! Agent Finn! Riley!

Buffy

She's gone. Not a trace. Giles said the Council guys have cleared out, too.

Riley

I don't understand. How could she have... I mean, how's it possible?

Buffy

Magic.

Riley

I knew there was something. I should've picked up on it. I mean, I should have just...

Buffy

You slept with her.

Riley

I slept with you. Man, would I like to get my hands on her. Not in a sex way.

Buffy

I don't think she's coming back.

Riley

Guess she's had her fun.

Buffy

Yeah. Fun.

Riley

These spells, they really work? I mean, can you really turn your enemies inside out? Or... learn to excrete gold coins.

That one's not so much fun.

Willow

They work, Riley, but they take concentration. Being attuned with the forces of the universe.

Xander

Right, you can't just go librum incendere and expect --

Giles

Xander, don't speak Latin in front of the books.

Riley

I can't believe it really happened.

Buffy

I just had no idea. It's so creepy. He was really singing?

Xander

I'd say it was more like crooning. If we grow old together, remind me to skip the midlife crisis.

Okay.

Willow

Come on, you have to admit, it was kind of sexy.

Xander

Please stop saying that. I'm willing to offer cash incentives.

Riley

We're just lucky no one got injured. No thanks to us.

Willow

Don't be too hard on yourself.

Buffy

He's right, Will. If Riley and I hadn't, gotten so wrapped up in each other, none of this would have happened.

True. Feel shame.

Xander

My girlfriend, mistress of the learning plateau.

Willow

Really, it wasn't your fault. You were under the influence of powerful magicks.

Buffy

We were like zombies. I had no control over myself at all.

Willow

It must have been horrible.

Buffy

Yeah. Horrible.

Riley

Uh-huh.

Buffy

Mm-hmm.

Riley

It was bad.

Buffy

Oz isn't a Demon. Something happened to him that wasn't his fault. I never knew you were such a bigot!

Riley

I'm not. I'm just saying it's a little strange to date someone who tries to eat you once a month!

Buffy

I hope everybody else is okay. It was better to split up, right? I mean, we're just too findable in a big clump.

Riley

It was better. Besides, I think it's mostly me the Initiative wants now. [sighs]

Buffy

Probably. So what should we do?

Riley

Oh, we'll be safe for tonight at least. The campus is still blacked out, so... that ought to slow the Initiative down. I'll figure out my next move tomorrow.

Buffy

Quite a day, huh? You woke up to a big bowl of Wheaties. Now you're a fugitive.

Riley

I don't know. I'm sorry it ended that way, but I am glad it's done. I'm glad I know where I stand. Finally. I was wrong about Oz. I was wrong a bigot.

Buffy

No, you weren't. You were thrown. You found out that Willow was in... kind of an unconventional relationship, and it gave you a momentary wiggins. It happens.

Riley

Still... I was in a totally black and white space, people versus monsters, and it ain't like that. Especially when it comes to love.

Buffy

I have to tell you some stuff. About my past. And it's not all stuff that you're gonna like.

Riley

You can tell me anything.

Buffy

I think so. I think I can.

Buffy

Angel.

Angel

Hi. Can I come in?

Buffy

I guess.

Angel

Um, I need a little more than that.

Buffy

Oh. Um... come in. You're hurt.

Angel

You, too.

Buffy

I'll live. You want to tell me who ran your face into that doorknob?

Angel

Not really. It's not world-in-peril stuff.

Buffy

Let me guess. You thought of something else really hurtful to say, and, well, you couldn't tell me on the phone because the funniest part is that look on my face--

Angel

Buffy, please. I really don't have a lot of time.

Buffy

What's going on?

Riley

I told you, you weren't coming near her.

Buffy

You've got to be kidding me. This is why you came?

Angel

No. This was an accident.

Buffy

Running your car into a tree is an accident! Running your fist into somebody's face is a plan. Please explain this to me.

Angel

Put that gun down.

Riley

It's pretty much all I got left, so I'm thinking not. He attacked four of my men, Buffy. I think he's up to his old tricks.

Buffy

He won't hurt anybody, tell him.

Angel

Might hurt you.

Riley

Oh, please try.

Angel

Huh. Some threat. You can barely stand.

Riley

My trigger finger feels okay.

Angel

You actually sleep with this guy?

Buffy

Okay, stop it! Okay, that is enough. I see one more display of testosterone poisoning, and I will personally put you both in the hospital. Anybody think I'm exaggerating?

Angel

He start--

Buffy

Riley.

Riley

I'm sorry. Just want to know that you were safe.

Buffy

I need to talk to Angel for a minute.

Riley

What?

Buffy

Riley, please.

Riley

I'm not leaving this room. I mean it. Not moving a muscle.

Buffy

Are you sure you'll be alright? 'Cause I can be there in the morning.

Riley

It's just a debriefing. They're not gonna make me disappear and they're not pinning anything on me. I got Graham and a lot of the guys testifying I'm the reason they're alive. I might actually got out of this with an honorable discharge.

Giles

In return for your silence, no doubt.

Riley

Oh, yeah. Having the inside scoop on the administration's own Bay of Mutated Pigs is definitely an advantage.

Willow

It's like you're blackmailing the government. In a... patriotic way.

Riley

I'll call you when it's over.

Xander

Dinner is served. And my very own recipe.

Willow

Ooh. You pushed the button on the microwave that says popcorn?

Xander

Actually, I pushed defrost, but, um, Joyce was there in the clinch.

Riley

Well, you guys have fun tonight. It was very nice meeting you.

Joyce

It was nice meeting you. Finally.

Riley

Bye.

Buffy

Bye.

Joyce

Did you notice how pointedly I said finally?

Buffy

No.

Riley

What can you tell me about Dracula?

Spike

Dracula? [scoffs] Poncy bugger owes me £11, for one thing.

Riley

You know him?

Spike

Know him? We're old rivals. But then he got famous, forgot all about his foes. I'll tell you what - that glory hound's done more harm to vampires than any Slayer. His story gets out, and suddenly everybody knows how to kill us, the mirror bit...!

Riley

But he's not just a regular vampire. He has special powers, right?

Spike

Nothing but showy Gypsy stuff. What's it to you, anyway?

Riley

He's in town, making his presence known.

Spike

[more intrigued] Drac's in Sunnydale? Guess the old boy needed closure after all.