[Dawn is writing in her diary.]
[voice over] I-I could so save the world if somebody handed me superpowers! But I-I'd think of a cool name and wear a mask to protect my loved ones. Which Buffy doesn't even!
“Real Me” · Season 5
In this episode: Buffy Summers (4), Dawn Summers (4), Rupert Giles (3), Xander Harris (1), Willow Rosenberg (1), Anya Jenkins (1)
So Giles and I worked out a whole schedule around school, a block of time every day just to focus on my new Slayer training.
That's a work ethic! Buffy, you're developing a work ethic!
Oh no, do they make an ointment for that?
People gotta respect a solid work ethic.
...
So... I won't be taking drama with you.
What? You have to, you promised!
Well, I know, but Giles says that it just -
The hell with Giles!
I can hear you, Willow.
Drama is just Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, you can blow off training Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, can't you?
What happened to you people gotta respect a work ethic?
Other people, not me! There's a whole best-friend loophole!
[Xander and Anya are playing Life with Dawn.]
AAnya
Crap! Look at this. I'm burdened with a husband, and several tiny pink children, and more cash than I can reasonably manage...
That means you're winning.
AAnya
Really?
Yes. Cash equals good.
AAnya
Oh! [claps] I'm so pleased! Can I trade in the children for more cash?
[Buffy, having killed Harmony's vampire minions, grabs an ax to cut Dawn free from her chains.]
You are going to be in so much trouble when we get home! [swings ax]
Yeah, well, I'm telling Mom you slayed in front of me.
Fine! I'll just tell her that you ran out of the house in the middle of the night! [swings ax] That you got Anya hurt! [swings ax] Invited a vampire in! [swings ax] Got kidnapped! ...
[Giles and Buffy tour the magic shop Giles is about to buy]
Giles, are you sure about this?
Why wouldn't I be?
Well, aside from the fact that most magic shop owners in Sunnydale have the life expectancy of a Spinal Tap drummer... and have you ever run a store before?
I was a librarian for years. This is exactly the same, except people pay for the things they don't return. It'll give me focus, increase my resources. And it'll prevent you lot from trampling all over my flat at all hours. There may even be some space for you to train in the back.
Boy, you've really thought this through... How bored were you last year?
I watched "Passions" with Spike. Let us never speak of it.
[Buffy breaks out laughing as she follows Giles into a back room]
There is nothing but you. You are the center. And within you, there is the core of your being... of what you are. Find it. Breathe into it. Focus inward. Let the world fall away. Fall away. Fall away.
[gasps]
Can we go now?
[Dawn is writing in her diary.]
[voice over] Nobody knows who I am. Not the real me. It's like nobody cares enough to find out. I mean, does anyone ever ask me what I want to do with my life, or what my opinion is on stuff, or what restaurant to order in from? No. Underline, Exclamation point. Exclamation point, exclamation point. No one understands. No one has an older sister who's a Slayer. People wouldn't be so crazy about her if they had to live in the same house with her every single day. Everybody cares what she thinks, just 'cause she can do backflips and stuff. Like that's such a crucial job skill in the real world. Plus, Mom lets her get away with everything. "Your sister's saving the world." I could so save the world if somebody handed me superpowers, but I'd think of a cool name and wear a mask to protect my loved ones, which Buffy doesn't even. If this town wasn't so lame, everyone would completely know what she does. And then I bet they wouldn't even be that impressed, because, like, killing things with wood? Oh. Scary vampires. They die from a splinter.
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