Sometimes I think about two women doing a spell, and...then I do a spell by myself.
“Restless” · Season 4
In this episode: Xander Harris (4), Buffy Summers (3), Joyce Summers (3), Willow Rosenberg (2), Rupert Giles (2), Tara Maclay (2), Riley Finn (1)
I move pretty fast. You know, a man's always after a-
Conquest?
I'm a conquistador.
Are you sure it isn't comfort?
I'm a comfortador also.
[During Xander's dream, he and Principal Snyder parody "Apocalypse Now."]
PSPrincipal Snyder as Colonel Kurtz
Where are you from, Harris?
XAXander as Captain Willard
Well, the basement, mostly.
PSPrincipal Snyder as Colonel Kurtz
Were you born there?
XAXander as Captain Willard
Possibly.
...
PSPrincipal Snyder as Colonel Kurtz
I walked by your guidance counselor's office one time. A bunch of you were sitting there ... waiting to be shepherded. I remember it smelled like dead flowers. Like decay. Then it hit me. The hope of our nation's future is a bunch of mulch.
XAXander as Captain Willard
You know, I never got the chance to tell you how glad I was you were eaten by a snake.
...
PSPrincipal Snyder as Colonel Kurtz
Where are you heading?
XAXander as Captain Willard
Well, I'm supposed to meet Tara and Willow. [beat] And possibly Buffy's mom.
...
PSPrincipal Snyder as Colonel Kurtz
Are you a soldier?
XAXander as Captain Willard
[shakes head] I'm a comfortador.
PSPrincipal Snyder as Colonel Kurtz
[contemptuous] You're neither. You're a whipping boy. Raised by mongrels and set on a sacrificial stone.
XAXander as Captain Willard
[nods] I'm getting a cramp.
But what else could I expect from a bunch of low-rent, no-account hoodlums like you? Hoodlums, yes, I mean you and your friends, your whole sex. Throw 'em in the sea for all I care. Throw 'em in and wait for the bubbles. Men, with your groping and spitting. All groin, no brain. Three billion of ya' passin' around the same worn out urge. Men... with your sales.
TSTara, speaking for The First Slayer
I have no speech, no name. I live in the action of death. The blood cry, the penetrating wound. I am destruction, absolute, alone.
Season 5
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Are you sure you'll be alright? 'Cause I can be there in the morning.
It's just a debriefing. They're not gonna make me disappear and they're not pinning anything on me. I got Graham and a lot of the guys testifying I'm the reason they're alive. I might actually got out of this with an honorable discharge.
In return for your silence, no doubt.
Oh, yeah. Having the inside scoop on the administration's own Bay of Mutated Pigs is definitely an advantage.
It's like you're blackmailing the government. In a... patriotic way.
I'll call you when it's over.
Dinner is served. And my very own recipe.
Ooh. You pushed the button on the microwave that says popcorn?
Actually, I pushed defrost, but, um, Joyce was there in the clinch.
Well, you guys have fun tonight. It was very nice meeting you.
It was nice meeting you. Finally.
Bye.
Bye.
Did you notice how pointedly I said finally?
No.
The First Slayer. Wow.
And not big with the socialization.
Or the floss.
Somehow our joining with Buffy and invoking the essence of the... the Slayer's power was an affront to the source of that power.
You know, you could have brought that up to us before we did it.
I did, I said there could be dire consequences.
Yes, but you say that about chewing too fast.
I'm, uh, guessing I missed some fun.
The spirit of the First Slayer tried to kill us in our dreams.
Oh, you want some hot chocolate?
Yeah.
Yeah, please.
Uh, Xander?
Yes, what, Joyce... uh, Buffy's mom.
Be my kitchen buddy again, help me carry?
Yes, sure, Buffy's mom.
Are you alright?
Yeah. I think I might jump in the shower.
You seem a bit...
A little. The First Slayer. I never really thought about it. It was intense. I guess you guys got a taste of that, huh?
Yeah, from now on you keep your Slayer friends out of my dreams, is that clear?
She's not good for the sleeping.
Uh... Well, at least you all didn't dream about that guy with the cheese. Don't know where the hell that came from.
[speaking for Buffy] You think you know, what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.
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