Shirley quotes from Boston Legal

Shirley

I always say two things. One is, everything you do reflects of Crane, Poole, and Schmidt. What is the other?

You're Schmidt.

That's a cheap shot.

Shirley

I've been known to take them.

Denny

Denny Crane.

Shirley

That is not a legal defense.

Denny

What the hell kinda charity is 'Children's Group'?

Shirley

We're teaching children to read.

No, we're buying them food.

Alan

I thought we were providing them with old people to play with.

Shirley

This is unprofessional, Denny. You are setting a very bad example for the rest of the firm.

Denny

Understood. And, from now on, in this office, those blinds go down before anybody else does.

And why did you screw him?

Shirley

I lost a bet.

Shirley

But understand that everyone at this firm is considered a witness. Don't expect anyone at this firm to help you -- OR speak to you.

Alan

And won't that make for a refreshing change.

Alan

And good for you, you've enlisted the one prosecutor who's running for D.A. next year. Tell me, how big was your campaign contribution? And is there a matching fund here at the firm we can all go in on?

Shirley

It was sizeable, and speak to Kim in accounting.

Shirley

[looking around the courtroom] The District Attorney's here.

Alan

Scott Bodner. Politicians are drawn to cameras like flies are drawn to...

Shirley

Politicians.

Shirley

If I agree to help you, one condition. I assume during the course of this case 'breasts' will be referred to in many colorful ways.

Alan

One would hope.

Shirley

Personally, however, I don't ever want to hear them referred to as 'hooters'. I hate that word. Oh, and this is a little off-topic, but I hate the word 'underpants', too.

Alan

If I can have your breasts, I promise not to say 'hooters'.

Shirley

Thank you, Alan.

Alan

Now, as for underpants, if you promise not to wear an...

Shirley

[interrupting] Goodbye, Alan.

Alan

I need your boobs.

Shirley

OK...but have them home by 11.

Shirley

Denise, I understand you're going through some difficulties in your personal life.

It's hard, but I'll get through it.

Shirley

From what I know about you, when things get tough you prefer to bury yourself in your work. Allow me to provide you with a shovel.

Catholic hospitals are free to interpret sections of the Ethical and Religious Directive liberally or conservatively. St Mary's takes a very strict application of Catholic teachings. That's why I chose to work there.

Shirley

I see. Tell me, Dr Tusten, do you have a set schedule at the ER?

Of course.

Shirley

But that puts you squarely on the job during the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 states that those who work on the Sabbath should be put to death.

Paul

You had sex with another woman and your wife in the three hours you were married?

Denny

It was my special day. I had taken my little blue pill.

Shirley

There is no cure for cancer, but we've got three pills for that.

Shirley

White roses, gold leaf cake, Bev's boobs swimming out of her wedding dress.

Who said money can't buy tastelessness?

Alan

I think Bev and Denny did a lovely job.

Paul

11 marriages between the two of them. They've had plenty of practice.