Bethany quotes from Boston Legal

Bethany

[To Paul] What? You've never seen a smoking dwarf before?

Bethany

I can get by that you're old. I can get by that you're old and gross. I can't get by that you had a history with my mother.

Denny

One meeting.

Bethany

In these offices. I'll call it even.

Denny

Not quite. One condition. Take off your clothes.

Bethany

What!

Denny

Oh come on. That was the initial plan. We hit it off, eventually we get together, naked. Take off your clothes. Let me see that little package.

Bethany

You are the most disgusting, vulgar human being I have ever met.

Denny

You're right... Just the top then?

Denny

A meeting? Would I have to talk?

Bethany

You're much more impressive when you don't.

Claire

You two spoke over the Internet for two weeks, divulging personal intimate details. You leave out the fact that you're under three feet tall. Do you think that's honest?

Bethany

Look at him. Did I get Mel Gibson?

Bethany

Maybe I did.

Claire

Okay, before we start, I want it on the record that I am very uncomfortable deposing a dwarf.

Bethany

What's that supposed to mean?

Claire

It means I'm uncomfortable. I don't need any victims rights groups picketing outside my condo. Not to mention the fact you obviously have deep psychological issues to accept any date with a seventy-two year old man, let alone...

Claire

Him.

Denny

You want a war? You get a war.

Bethany

You fat old man.

Denny

Bring it on, small fry!

Bethany

He baited me deliberately.

He did this because the book on you is your less effective when you lose your cool.

Bethany

Oh, shut up.

This is exactly the state of mind that he wants you in.

Bethany

It was an offer made in bad faith. I should bring a motion for sanctions.

That wouldn't make any difference.

Bethany

Shut up.

Shut up yourself.

[to Denny] She okay? She's panting like a dog.

Bethany

[angrily] I heard that!

Denny

It's sexual this ear pinch.

Bethany

Yes. Pinching the ear gives you blood flow. When's the last time you got that without taking a pill?

Denny

Well. Shall we pick up where we left off, my little friend?

Bethany

Forget it.

Denny

Why?

Bethany

Because one of the rules I try to follow in my social life is, 'don't date guys who slept with my mother.'

Bethany

I need to speak with you... [notices Alan] ...privately.

Denny

Anything you want to say to me can be said in front of him.

Alan

We're married.

Hold on just one second; are you a midget?

Bethany

Are you an imbecile?

Uh...objection!

Denny

Sustained.

Bethany

So, you going to remind me again how I'm supposed to cross the wife?

Paul

Oh, shut up.

Denny

You people have an overreacting problem, you do know that?

[offended] "We people?"

Denny

Yeah, same thing in Lebanon. They grab a few soldiers, you respond with overkill. And that's a problem.

Bethany

Are you saying Israel doesn't have the right to defend itself?

Denny

Well, of course, they do! But you can't blow up a country just because you get mad! Only the United States enjoys that privilege. We're a superpower; God is on our side.