Denise quotes from Boston Legal

[to Garrett] I could kiss you -- but I won't.

[eyes locked with Garrett] Garrett, I need you...to do some research.

[scolding Brad and Jeffrey] You're both partners! I'm not. So why am I the only one acting like an adult?

She's a vicious, spiteful, treacherous pig. That's what she is.

I'm not going to lead with that.

The rich are different from you and me.

Paul

Certainly from you.

Denny

What the hell kinda charity is 'Children's Group'?

Shirley

We're teaching children to read.

No, we're buying them food.

Alan

I thought we were providing them with old people to play with.

Have you ever actually tried a case?

No, but I've always wanted to. Think of it as the Make-A-Wish foundation granting a dying kid his fantasies...if that kid were a rich guy in his forties.

Alan

So how are you doing?

Fine.

Alan

I have a rabbi friend with a small gambling problem who, when he hears someone say they're fine, he always asks again until they say something--other than 'fine.' So, how are you doing?

Alan

I always feel slightly sick to my stomach when I work alone in the office late at night.

I thought you liked being alone.

Alan

Oh, I love being alone. I just prefer to be alone when there's other people around.

Denny

Daniel!

Denny!

Denny

Lookin' good.

Thank you. You wanna come to my funeral?

Denny

Oh, funerals are sad.

Well, this one'll be fun.

Denny

Count me in!

Tomorrow night.

Denny

No can do, busy... Rain check?

[pauses] ...Absolutely.

Denny

[nods to Denise] He's a keeper! [walks off]

Denny's great.

Yep.

He doesn't hear a thing anyone says, does he?

Nope.

Shirley

Denise, I understand you're going through some difficulties in your personal life.

It's hard, but I'll get through it.

Shirley

From what I know about you, when things get tough you prefer to bury yourself in your work. Allow me to provide you with a shovel.

Denny Crane

Ah, Denise. Rodney King?

Rodney King. Uh, severely beaten by the police over ten years ago.

Denny Crane

See? You remember. Why? Branding! They didn't call him Rodney King: wifebeater, alcohol abuser, who swung a tire iron at a convenience store clerk. They called him Rodney King: a motorist, a motorist: Rodney King. Brings to mind images of a jaunty man riding hat in cap in a Model-T. That's what we want. Russell Blayney: American Homeowner. Not Russell Blayney: eats them broiled, baked or fried.

Shirley

You slept with him!

Did not!

Shirley

You slept with him!

Did not!

Shirley

You slept with him!

Well, maybe a little bit.

Marlene

Brad, did you hear? Denise is getting married.

[to Denise] Really?

I was going to tell you.

Marlene

Sometimes it's easier to hear it from a third party.

Marlene

[emotionless] That could've hit me.

Marlene

Denise.

Marlene.

Marlene

I hear you're getting married.

I am.

Marlene

Congratulations. It must be a relief to have some financial security. Does Buzz know?

Buzz?

Marlene

Buzz Lightyear. Isn't that the nickname for the Ken-doll with benefits?

Marlene, I'm finding it extremely difficult not to assault you right now.

Marlene

[deadpan] Oh, I'm sorry. Am I being too familiar? I thought we were girlfriends. I was hoping the relationship wouldn't change when I made partner and you didn't but I guess it has. Oh well.