Denny Crane quotes from Boston Legal

Denny

A man died during angioplasty, leaving him dead. Tragic.

Denny

[deposing an attractive plaintiff] In this last year, would you say you've had more or less sex since your husband died?

Denny

Hell, if I had a nickel for every woman I'd promise to marry in exchange for sex...actually, I do.

Denny

You hear the one about the fella who died? Went to the Pearly Gates and St. Peter let him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument and says, "Who's that?" St. Peter says, "Oooohhh, that's God. Thinks he's Denny Crane."

Denny

If she tries to pee standing up, come and get me. [after closing the door to the stall] Lock and load!

Denny

How are you doing? Denny Crane.Still cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

Denny

When a beautiful woman says, 'get me off', you 'get her off', Shirley, it's as simple as that.

Denny

[to Kelly] I'll visit you in jail. Conjugal.

Denny

I'm sorry, your honor. I have mad cow disease. I think you do, too.

Denny

Is the show over already?

Denny

This isn't meaningful; practicing law and drinking scotch at 9 o'clock in the morning. Well, ok, maybe the scotch is meaningful.

Denny

I shot my first steelhead!

Denny

When God strips you of your talent, He should at least have the decency to strip away the memory of having had it.

Denny

I still am Denny Crane.

Denny

I wish I was never great...because I remember.