Catherine quotes from Boston Legal

Catherine

Piper: All I'm saying is if you killed two people and if you're as alone as you say, there couldn't be a

Catherine

[to Bernie] What are ya going to do? Whack me on the head?

Catherine

[to Alan] Thank you. Baretta said that to his attorney. It brought him luck.

Catherine

Alan, I've been Schmidt-canned!

Catherine

Alan! Hello!

Alan

Mrs. Piper?

Catherine

You remember! Ha, ha. Oh, I always say, "Shake a man's hand with dog poop on your glove, he'll remember you for life."

Alan

Why does Shirley get to skip the staff meetings?

Paul

She's got a trial in New York later this week, so she has a busy day.

Some of us have trials today, so if you don't mind, I'd like to cut out.

Lori

What's your case about, Brad?

Alan

What is it about?

It involves interference with contractual relations.

Alan

You mean...lesbians?

Paul

Where are you?

Today, they're calling Tracy to testify that her ex-lover was-

Alan

Lesbian ex-lover.

-to testify that Tracy was scamming her for money. Tracy was in fact not an actual bone-fide...

Alan

Lesbian?

You like saying it?

Alan

I do.

Say it again.

Alan

Lesbian.

Keep going.

Alan

LESBIAN! LESBIAN! Lez-bee-un. All together now!

Lesbian!

Alan

I also like to watch. How many people like to-

Paul

All right, that's enough, this is a staff meeting. I'll ask you all to conduct yourselves appropriately and professionally.

Catherine

Cookies everyone! Nourishment is most important in the morning.

Paul

Who is this woman?

Catherine

Take two, Tara, you're a rail.

Alan

Hey Brad! All together now!

Lesbian!

Catherine

Isn't coffee a lovely drug? I love brain stimulants, don't you? Uh, Catherine Piper!

Brad Chase.

Catherine

Brad Chase? You're defending a lesbian!

Lori

Hi! I'm Lori Colson, we haven't officially met.

Catherine

Hello, dear. Catherine Piper.

Lori

For the future, I don't really appreciate comments about my hair.

Catherine

Oh! I'm sorry. I was just trying to make conversation. And I assumed you wouldn't want me to go anywhere near your eyebrows.

Lori

Wait, this firm is actually going to help Milton Bombay be put on ice?

Catherine

Oh, come now Lori. You of all people should know it's not so bad to go through life as a popsicle.

Alan

[talking about Bernard] He seems to take particular delight in all of this. Does he not, Catherine?

Catherine

We all do. It's fun to see pretty people fall.

Alan

Your little boyfriend is twisted. Trust me when I tell you, he's not finished killing.

Alan

Catherine, may I ask why would you seek to befriend this man?

Catherine

Well, I felt at his core he wasn't evil. I also thought I could help him by introducing him to Jesus Christ, our Savior.

Alan

Was he open to that?

Catherine

Not terribly. He thought it would make him look like a bad Jew.

Garrett

I want you out of my office! I'm an attorney, I graduated top of my class at Suffolk University Law School, I passed the Bar Exam the very first try, AND I was recruited by the best firms.

Catherine

I killed a man.

Garrett

This is my office.

Catherine

Oh, I needed a base of operations for my sandwich cart business.

Garrett

But... I...

Catherine

You're a first year, right? [Garrett nods yes] Well, it goes like this: named partner, senior partner, junior partner, senior associates, sandwich lady, xerox guy, janitor, first years.