Denny Crane quotes from Boston Legal

Denny

With juries, it always comes down to simple. There's nobody simpler than me.

Denny

I have an erection... Let the trial begin. I'm ready.

Denny

With all that's going on in the world these days, who among us hasn't wanted to take an axe to a priest?

Denny

Mmmm! Everyone, this is the cake I want for my birthday.

Denny

[to Paul] I left Bev on simmer. She should be coming to a boil rather nicely now.

Denny

I heard there were two hundred women, that's four hundred breasts, and you kept them all to yourself!

Denny Crane

Bev will be happy which makes me happy, which makes you happy. So really, Brad, you're doing this to make you happy.

Denny Crane

Don't like that kind of thinking. Defense of self. You gotta strike first. Pre-empt 'em. What they say in the news? Victim or vigilante? It's neither. This is Russell Blayney, hero!

Denny Crane

Exactly. I wanna grab the public's attention. The story. Character. Narrative. We have to create our own reality. You! Young punk. You must know computers. Set up a website, one of those blobs. Justice for Russell Blayney! And you, Denise, you'll be my second. You look good on camera.

Denny

I'm going to take you to my spa. I'm going to empty your bucket.

Denny

(To Alan) I don't think I've ever seen you this nervous, except for night terrors, clowns and word salad.

Denny

[to Alan] What do you mean she's measuring you for trousers? Is that some kind of fetish? Would I like it?

Denny

[to Alan] Here's the thing about rich people Alan - we get whatever we want.

Denny

I love dwarves! I was actually hoping you'd be one.

Denny

Oh please. If there were new guys they would have shown up in the season premiere.

Denny

Let the games begin, small fry.