Denny Crane quotes from Boston Legal

Denny

I can't be sure, but in the middle I think I actually felt smoke coming out my ass.

Denny

I've often found that it's the chubby girls who offend most easily.

Denny

I have nothing against marriage. I've done it five times.

Denny

I'll take a friend over a wife every time.

Denny

First of all, I haven't had sex with a camel since I was in the Army. And the camel never complained.

Denny

[to Alan] I don't want to look at you right now.

Denny

Most of the Cranes in my family were flamingos.

Denny

Hope you die. Denny Crane.

Denny

Indigent are poor. Hate the poor. Can't pay.

Denny

[to Judge Harvey Cooper[ You're a douchebag. I don't do well with douchebags.

Denny

[to Alan] We're friends -- and we're sleeping together!

Denny

Here's what you need to know about the practice of law. It all comes down to money.

Denny

Denny Crane. My poop doesn't smell. Comes out in pretty colors, pastels. Denny Crane.

Denny

[to Shirley] It's not nice to talk about crazy people behind their backs.

Denny

[to Judge Brown] Judge, you're old. I'm old. Lock and load before we're dead.