[in Cornholio's voice] Do you have any tsetse flies? Hehe. Teetsie!
S7 E9Head Lice
NNurse
Here's a prescription for some special shampoo and cream for skin irritation.
[laughs] She said foreskin.
Yeah. Foreskin irritation.
Beavis starts whacking Butt-head with a w: flyswatter in an attempt to kill the lice
Ow! What the hell are you doing, ass-wipe?!
Yeah! I'm kicking the bugs' ass! Yeah!
Ow! I'm gonna kick your ass, fartknocker! [kicks Beavis in the testicles]
AAAAAAHHH! [falls down]
Now get up. We gotta, like, use an infesticide.
Hey Butt-head, are they dead?
Uh, I think we got 'em, dude.
[Beavis suddenly starts scratching his scrotum]
Um....wait a minute. Dammit. I think I got some more bugs on my nads.
Uh, how'd they get there, Beavis?
I don't know. Dammit!
Maybe you should stick your weiner in the bug zapper!
Yeah, yeah! That's a really good idea, Butt-head! [pulls bug zapper down to his crotch area] Let me just get this down here, here we go... [unzips his pants, and offscreen, follows Butt-head's advice. Electricity crackles and Beavis screams]
Butt-head [chuckling]: Dumbass!
S7 E10Cyber-Butt
Welcome to the future: here is your free porn.
Welcome to the future. Here is your free porn.
Yeah. Porn is good for you. Did you know that?
Uh... Now as you boys know, we have strict rules, about accessing computer pornography from the library. So before, I sentence you to an extremely harsh punishment, I want to know how you little punks did it! Uh... Come on. You idiots can save yourself a lot of trouble if you just tell me who helped you log on!
I did that myself. But Stewart got us the porn.
What?
He's pretty good.
But... but... but I...
Oh, that's it! You're all getting detention for the rest of the year! And you've lost all your computer privileges!
Yeah, yeah we need more porn, come on Stewart.
Shut the hell up!
S7 E11Nose Bleed
Beavis [upon noticing that he's got a nosebleed]: No! I'm bleeding! I'm bleeding!
Butthead [with the string tied to the door and to Beavis's stomach] (laughs and closes the door)
Beavis AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Blood goes all over the room]
Butt-head goes up to a woman coming out of a gas station rest-room.
So here's a quarter. Could you like get one of those things, you put in your thing, when you got your thing.
Woman punches Butt-head.
S7 E12Citizen's Arrest
Beware the long arm of Butt-head.
Beware the long wiener of Beavis!
S7 E14A Great Day
Some day I'd like to be like that. Ya know, a kid finds a dead bird, ya give him 20 bucks for it. Now that's cool.
S7 E22Woodshop
Hey Butt-head, I don't know why, but this is giving me a stiffy.
Uhhhh, maybe that's why they call it 'woodshop'.
[Handing Beavis's severed finger to the nurse] Hey Beavis. I'm giving her the finger.
[after Beavis severs his finger in shop class]
Hey, Beavis. Pull my finger. I mean, your finger.
Shut up, Butt-head!
S7 E25Garage Band
Come on, dumbass, play it.
Check this out. Uhhh yeeah!! Waahhhhh!! You're gonna die!! [smashes Mr. Van Driessen's acoustic guitar] Ohhh dnanananananana didlywoo weewoo browww baaabababa dadadada!!
Woah! That was cool, Beavis. We're, like, on our way.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.