Butthead quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

...Exercise sucks.

We're gonna kick Letterman's butt.

[trying to pronounce "symptoms"] Sym-sym-Simpsons? Uh, they're pretty cool.

[immitating the singer's growl] OAAAA! DAAAAUUUUGH! Yeah. It's like, everybody sings like this now.

Buzzcut

Butthead, do you have an explanation for your inexplicable behavior?!

Uhh...I was dead? Uh huh huh.

Beavis

Heh heh. Yeah. He was dead. Heh heh.

Buzzcut

Now, Butt-head! You've waited your whole life to say this in class without getting in any trouble. Our topic for today is? [SEXUAL INTERCOURSE is written on the board]

[with mouth wired shut, unable to talk clearly] SEFUAL INTERCOWSE!

Buzzcut

Say it, you pantywaste! Say it!

[still muffled] SEFUAL INTERCOWSE!

Buzzcut

Get out of my class you insuboridnated maggot! Beavis! What does this say?

Beavis

[wearing unneeded glasses, cannot read] Uh...uh...uh...

Buzzcut

GET OUT!

Oh Steve, my career as a leading molecular biologist seems so far away.

Yea, but I'm not.

Damn you're smooth. oooooohhhhh!

Whoa! We gotta get us one of those!

Beavis

What, a testicular biologist?

No dumbass, a beard. We don't score because chicks don't think we're manly enough.

Number 1, I order you to take a Number Two.

Beavis

Aye-aye, Captain.

I already told you kids! You don't have ID, you look underage, and if I serve you, I'll go to jail!!

Uhh...how about one for the road?

Beavis

Yeah, like one to help me forget or something?

Don't worry, man, these are good kids. Y'know, you guys remind me a lot of when I was your age.

Yeah, some day we're gonna be just like you.

Beavis

Yeah, we're gonna be drunk. (Joe falls on the floor in drunken stupor)

Beavis

That drummer is old.

Shut up, fart knocker, he's cool!

Beavis

Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap!

Sing it Beavis!

Hey Beavis, you ever done a dirty deed?

Beavis

Yeah. I spanked my monkey one time.

THese guys always wear the same clothes. That's cool. Hey, we always wear the same clothes! I've had this shirt on for six months!

Beavis

I've had this on for seven months.

Beavis

Next time they have a clay project at school, I'm gonna make a big boob. Yeah yeah. Maybe a butt too.

Yeah. Last time you just made an ash tray. It sucked.

Beavis

Oh yeah. So? You made a baseball.

Oh yeah. Then the teacher called me a lazy turd.

Beavis

Yeah. So then you made that.

Yeah, but not out of clay.

Beavis

WHoa, look at their hair, Butthead! It reminds me of like those pom poms, at like pep rallies.

You go to pep rallies?

Beavis

Yeah. You know, sometimes I go just to check out the butts.