Daria Morgendorffer quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Daria

Butt-head, why don't you try this experiment? Analyze the friction caused by digitally oscillating your weiner.

Daria

He said master painters!

[in unison] Diarrhea, cha cha cha! Diarrhea, cha cha cha!

Daria

Get a life.

  [in unison]  Diarrhea, cha cha cha!  Diarrhea, cha cha cha!  Diarrhea, cha cha cha!

Daria

  Get a life.

It's ironic that we in this country who cherish freedom occasionally support governments who are less responsive to human rights. We're fortunate to have had a very stable government for over 200 years. In other parts of the world, they aren't so lucky. The struggle for freedom is by no means over. It still goes on today in places like Nicaragua, El Salvador, and Panama...

Beavis

Nicaragua? Agua! AGUA FOR MY BUNGHOLE!!!

Beavis, please sit down.

Beavis

Are you threatening me? I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO!

Come on, Beavis, take your seat. Now, technically America is not a democracy but a republic....

Beavis

(to Daria) Do you have TP? TP for my bunghole?

Daria

Get out of here, Beavis.

Beavis

Uhh, Okay.

Now people, do you know what I mean, when I say that animals are sentient creatures? Daria?

Daria

They think and feel just like us?

Wel just like most of us, anyway. And that brings us to our next class project. : Did you know people that a furrier is planning to set up a shop in this town ?

Butt-Head

Huh Huh, furrier than who? Huh Huh

Beavis

Heh Heh, Yeah Heh Heh

Who can tell me how they kill these poor little animals that they use to make those furs? Anybody?

Daria

Anal electrocution?

That's correct.

Beavis

What's that mean ?

Tell the class, Daria.

Daria

50.000 Volts up the butt!

Butt-Head

Huh Huh, That'd be cool!

Beavis

Wonder what that feels like.

Butt-Head

Huh Huh, ask your Dad! Huh Huh

Do you wanna say something, Butt-Head?

Butt-Head

Er, Huh Huh, on behalf of the class I would like to propose a field trip so we can observe this freeing techniques!

I don't think so,Butt-Head! In fact, I think our duty as passengers on spaceship earth is to put a stop to these monstrous acts right away! So class, our assignment is a lesson in the people's power. We're going to take a petition door to door and collect enough signatures to keep the furriers out of town.

Daria

And when this "magic bullet" went into the President's chest, it had to make a sharp turn in order to exit his body from the neck. Then it would have had to turn right, then left, and somehow have enough energy to hit the Governor in the front seat. Clearly, the assassination was a conspiracy.

Butt-Head

Huhuhuh...oral.

Beavis

Yeah, heheh, I'm going to do an anal report.

Daria

You guys will never graduate.

Butt-Head

Uhh... never masturbate?

Daria

Graduate! It's when you're all done with school.

Beavis

You mean, like, school ends?

That's right, Beavis. When you finish high school, you'll never have to take another class if you don't want to. But that's not going to happen if you don't give your oral report right now.