Mr. Van Driessen quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

OK, Stew, let's pitch a tent.

Grab a pole.

Stick it in the hole, Stewart.

OK, boys, lets erect this thing.

Now, works by the master painters of the centuries!

  This is the '90s, people.  A '9' upside down is a '6,' so let's turn the '90s upside down and recapture the spirit of the '60s, okay?

Butt-head

  Watch those flashbacks, dude.

Today, we're going to explore the world of haiku.

Butt-head

We're gonna explore the world of getting high? Cool! Huh huh.

No, Butt-head. Not "high, cool". But, the ancient, Japanese, spare, haunting poetry called "haiku".

  [directing traffic]  That's right, everyone.  If we all work together and respect one another's space, we'll get through this crisis with a newfound sense of community.

  Get out of the street, you longhaired panty-waist!

  I need to go coordinate the emergency shelter at the Y, but I can't move my post until I'm relieved.

Butt-head

  Uhh…just go behind a building, dude.  No one will see.

Now, I'm going to close my eyes, and I want you to wow me.

Butt-head

Uh...Is that allowed on school property?

Butt-head

[referring to a nude male statue's penis] Huhuh...it's hard, but it's not, like, hard.

Very good, Butt-head!

It's ironic that we in this country who cherish freedom occasionally support governments who are less responsive to human rights. We're fortunate to have had a very stable government for over 200 years. In other parts of the world, they aren't so lucky. The struggle for freedom is by no means over. It still goes on today in places like Nicaragua, El Salvador, and Panama...

Beavis

Nicaragua? Agua! AGUA FOR MY BUNGHOLE!!!

Beavis, please sit down.

Beavis

Are you threatening me? I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO!

Come on, Beavis, take your seat. Now, technically America is not a democracy but a republic....

Beavis

(to Daria) Do you have TP? TP for my bunghole?

Daria

Get out of here, Beavis.

Beavis

Uhh, Okay.

OK, let's see, who hasn't gone yet? Beavis! Are you ready to inspire us with your report?

Butt-head

[awakens Beavis by slapping him] You're next, dillhole!

Come on, Beavis! Stand up and tell us about the woman you admire the most!

Beavis

Um... oh yeah... OK.

Go ahead! Reveal to us the identity of this profoundly influential female!

Beavis

Oh yeah! Um, uh... oh yeah. My mom!

Butt-head

You wuss.

Butt-head, I hope your report is a little more wider in scope than Beavis's.

Butt-head

The woman I admire most, is... uh... Beavis's mom.

Being in the captivity of nature without women is the perfect way to wrestle with your manhood.

Butt-head

Beavis wrestles with his manhood.

Beavis

Yeah, heh, I usually win.

Now Beavis, try and get in touch with your inner male.

Beavis

Heheh, no way! Not with a bunch of dudes watching!