Dr. Krieger quotes from Archer

Krieger

A small power unit goes here on your... spiney thing, which sends electical impulses to your muscles and ligaments and... stuff, which I will fuse to a vanadium alloy endoskeleton, replacing your current, uh, leg bones.

Ray

I have to say, it kind of worries me that you don't know the names of the actual bones.

Archer

Why is Barry rocket-shipping away from the frickin' space station?

Krieger

Because Newton's Third Law of Motion?

Archer

Hey, thanks, Neil deGrasse Tyson!

[aroused] Ooooh! DeGrasse Tyson-san.

Malory

Swear to God, you people make me want to pump nerve gas through the vents.

Krieger

[over loudspeaker] Just say the word.

Malory

My God, a perfect score on the IFAAB merely indicates that a person is a candidate for field agent status! It can't determine if they're suited for actual field work. I mean, what if she had to subdue an agent?

Pam

Cue sad trombone, and... go.

Malory

Pam! What the hell did you... waagh! [Brief shot of Cyril thrown to ground and picked up and thrown again] My God!

Krieger

And it goes on like that for another 38 soul-cleaving minutes

Ray

Of which, you were there for 2.

Krieger

3! Hey, I was scared, I ran away; sue me! And sue me for this! Smoke bomb!

Uh, sir? It's like you said. He's dug in there like a tick and...

Krieger

Never! You'll never take me alive!

[sighs] Okay, breach it.

Roger that. [detonates breaching charge]

Krieger

On second thought, I very much prefer to be taken alive. Just let me clear the ol' browser history and—no, no, no, no, n— [agents choke-tackle him] OOF! Oh, come on!

Ray

I said Ms. Archer had an affair with the head of the KGB for like 30 years.

Cheryl

Yeah, until he got blown up. Which was actually my fault.

Cyril

Because she was busy having choke-sex with a murderous cyborg who then became the new head of the KGB.

Krieger

Until I built a sexier one out of illegal Soviet parts. And a corpse.

Krieger

Defiling a corpse.

Cyril

Defiling a different corpse.

Pam

Kidnapping the Pope...

Cheryl

[laughs] Faking my own kidnapping! Arson...

Pam

Bum fights! You know like when you pay bums to...

Cyril

Destroy an oil pipeline in...

Cheryl

I wanna say Burt Reynolds!

Cyril

Turkmenistan?

Krieger

[seeing the Yakuza at the door on a monitor] Hey, so, did somebody order Chinese?

Malory

They're Japanese, you idiot!

Krieger

[to his virtual girlfriend] Oh, for... I don't get all pissy every time you mistake a Dutchman for a Swede! Either time that happened!

Krieger

[on the nerve gas] Come on, you don't want a thing like that falling into the wrong hands. The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is that good men do nothing.

Malory

Said the clone of Adolf Hitler.

Krieger

Well... Edmund Burke, but... doesn't matter who.

What in the name of sweet Jiminy Christ do you think you're doing?!

Krieger

Standing up for myself! Because maybe I didn't go to some fancy-pantsy Ivy League med school, and maybe I didn't go to some other med school—even the one down in Grenada, which was my fallback, but whatever. That doesn't give you [points to med-team doctor] the right to bully me! I have had it! Oh, and by the way, if I was a clone of Adolf goddamn Hitler, wouldn't I look like Adolf goddamn Hitler?!

Huh. I never thought about that.

Krieger

You're better than this! You don't have to be a killer. You can use your powers for the good of all mankind!

Yeah, I could, but I was a murderer before you turned me into a freak so I don't know why you thought this was gonna have a happy ending.