Amphetamines?!
Right? And I know it sounds crazy, but I like them as much as cocaine!
“Archer Vice: A Debt of Honor” · Season 5, Episode 3
In this episode: Malory Archer (5), Lana Kane (2), Pam Poovey (2), Ron (2), Cheryl Tunt (1), Cyril Figgis (1), Dr. Krieger (1)
[seeing the Yakuza at the door on a monitor] Hey, so, did somebody order Chinese?
They're Japanese, you idiot!
[to his virtual girlfriend] Oh, for... I don't get all pissy every time you mistake a Dutchman for a Swede! Either time that happened!
Well, what did he say?
Well, he's not happy, obviously, and he wants his drugs back, and that guy who sold 'em to me's not gonna be playing the violin any time soon.
Because?
Because a violin would probably dissolve in the same big drum of acid they dissolved that guy in.
EEEveryone else
Ew!
But if all Moto wants is his drugs...
Then he can give us a refund.
Of worthless counterfeit money?
It's not exactly worthless. The right buyer would probably pay about 15 cents on the dollar for it.
What?! Why didn't you say that?!
Uh, I don't know. I assumed you knew.
Everybody knows that.
$1 million! Yes, real dollars. Duh, look at my house. I bet I got rugs worth a... Ugh! Fine, $2 million. Okay, $5 million. Fine, $10 million! $50 million! A jillion million! Jesus! Be more gross and Chinese-y!
[Hangs up. Archer plays the Price Is Right losing horn on his phone]
Been waiting forever to use that.
Okay, listen up, there are way too many windows and doors to cover, so we need to concentrate on chokepoints. [Cheryl excitedly laughs] Not that kind of chokepoints.
[handing Ron a rifle] Here.
Noop.
What do you mean, "noop"? Take it!
Woman, I am not getting in a shootout with the goddamn Yakuza because you people decided to steal their drugs!
Well, I support you in your work! Not that you ever do any, but...
If you were honest with yourself, you would realize I have been incredibly supportive of you! Get arrested for treason, I stand by you; become a drug dealer, I stand by you. Oh-oh-oh! And you don't seem to mind driving around in a new Cadillac, do you?
A floor model.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Archer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.