Carl quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

WHAT?!!

Willie Nelson

Uh...

What do you want?!

Yeah, what do you want?

Willie Nelson

[forgetting his lines] Uh...what are you doing here?

I live here, asshole!

And I'm just visiting.

Willie Nelson

Well, listen, did you get any of my mail? Willie Nelson?

Hang on, lemme look.

Eat me.

Willie Nelson

If it shows up, bring it over. If you dare. God, I suck.

Hey, Carl!

Who's this, your frickin' mother?!

Willie Nelson

No, Carl. It's your neighbor, Willie Nelson. I got chased here by the villagers.

Well, villager...

Yeah, that's a great story. See ya.

Shake

Oh, sweetness.

Frylock

Hey, Shake, whatcha got there?

Shake

No, do not get near this.

Frylock

Well, what is it?

Shake

Just the fruits of victory. I wouldn't expect you to know anything about it, being a loser.

Frylock

The shake 'em up finals?

Shake

Yeah, I won 'Participant'

Frylock

Shake, don't tell me you used the Danger Cart in some demolition derby.

Shake

Hell no, I got my own wheels.

Hey, open up, or I'm opening it for you.

Shake

[Leaving] Well, you know the drill.

Frylock

Drill? No, I don't. [Opens the door] Hey.. Carl.. how you doin' man?

Take a look at that.

Frylock

Ooo. Hey, Carl. This is pretty boss man. Where'd you get those graphics done?

Thank you, I didn't frickin' do it.

Frylock

Well, then why are you showin' it to me?

Someone stole it, raced it, and brought it back!

Frylock

Oh, well, I mean, you did call the police, right?

Heh, heh, yeah, good one. Oh, I never thought of that. No they, they stopped takin' my calls like, long ago.

Frylock

Well, uh, we're kinda not...detectives anymore. I mean, that wasn't making us a whole lotta money.

No, sir. But now we got us a mail-order telemarket business. Ultra Mega Braid. Carl, I see you're noticing my braids.

No, I'm not.

Did you know that you can have braids just like this? With Ultra Mega Braid!

Frylock

Carl, you wanna try one out?

No.

Frylock

We could do your shoulders.

They come in seven different colors, and you could add decorative beads and glitter. Make your own, unique Ultra Mega Braid!

Frylock

3.99.

Hey, kiss my Ultra Mega Ass!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, what was that noise?! Uh, where is my white hatchback?!

Shake

[Playing dumb] 'Scuse me?

And why are there skid marks there?!

Shake

Uh, I just got through mowing the lawn...if that's a crime.

I friggin' RENTED THIS THING THIS MORNING!!

Shake

Yeah, we know how you did it. Congratulations. The bank gave you a credit card. It doesn't make you better than me! But you see, nobody gives me credit, because I'm a bad risk and I don't pay my bills on time. So I have to work for what I have.

Um, did my car always have that, or am I just uh...

Shake

What? Class? Style? I don't think so. Thank God I got a hip transplant. Now why don't you go back into your house and shut up?

Why'd he do that?

Shake

Why wouldn't he?

Frylock

[trying to get away from the Wisdom Cube] Look, there's Carl! Hey, Carl! Hey! Hey! Hold up, man!

No, no, no, don't come over here.

Frylock

Don't go anywhere! Stay right there!

Wisdom Cube

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Frylock

Hey, look man, I'm sorry, I'd love to stay here with you, but I gotta go ever there with Carl...and spank him.

No, no, I got nothin' to say to you.

Frylock

Nothin' personal [Frylock starts spanking Carl]

Oh, thank you.

Wisdom Cube

[from away] Hey, nice yard! It's nice.

Frylock

How's that restraining order comin'?

For your information, it's still tied up in the courts, cuz I don't have photographs of things like this thing you're doin' here with my butt-why're you doin' this? Stop doin' it. Wait, no-no wait, keep doin' it! [chuckles] Let me go get my camera!

Shake

(calling Carl) Hey buddy, how's it going? You know, I just happened to check the pH levels of your pool and they are incredibly high! Not good. Fix it or I'm getting a lawyer. Okay, bye!

Frylock

Did you ask him?

What'd he say?

Shake

Yeah, it's cool. We're all good.

Hell yeah!

He-he-heeeey, buddy!.

Shake

You were home the whole time?

Well, he don't ever leave the house, he's one of them, um, shutoffs. Sh-shutout. Wait, what the hell is it called?

Shake

It's a shut up.

Yeah, it's a shut up.

Shake

I never thought you'd screen with me, Carl.

(insincerely) Oh, I was just lightin' the grill, waiting for you guys to come over! Have a little barbeque, little beer...you know I love you guys.

Frylock

Carl, you alright? You're acting strange.

No, I'm nooot! Come on!

Frylock

Yes, you are!

Hey, race over here! Last one in is a rotten egg!

Shake's a rotten egg!

Frylock

Whoa.

Oh, that feels hot.

Aw, come on, why'd you stop?! Keep coming, ya so close.

Hell yeah, well come on!

Frylock

No, Meatwad, don't.

Wait for it.

Good, it works. Now, you try doing that with your body now.

...okay!

Frylock

No, Meatwad, stop!

Shake

(waving sunglasses around) Carl, top shelf. Not the high-end model, but it works for you and, y'know, your income bracket, but don't worry, I'm not going to tell anybody how cheap you are.

Yeah, come closer there, Shakeman. You won't tell anybody anything. Ever again.

[at Carl] Dude, you wanna move your thing? You almost killed us!

Yeah, are you, like, begging me instead to, like, mess up your pizza face in front of your girlfriend over there [points at Frylock], 'cause I'll do it, man!

[holding D.P. back] Dude, dude, it's not worth it!

No, man, look at my ship!!! [points to his wrecked spaceship] My dad is gonna be pissed!

[to Carl] Do you know who his dad is?! He is totally rich...he will totally hook you up.....dude....we're drunk!

These friends of yours, Fryman?

Hey, where's the club? I need to piss.

They came from space, you know...typically, that means you're somehow connected.

Frylock

Carl, I've never seen them before in my life.

So, you don't mind if I talk to her? [points to Frylock]

Her??! Ha-ha, yeah, knock yourself out. She's a regular ho-bag.

[to Frylock] 'Sup, little lady?

Dude, she's got a bit of a 'stache.

It's all right, she's good to go [gives Skeeter a fistbump]. So...my dad's totally rich, we own this dealership, and, uh, what sorority are you in?

Frylock

'Scuse me?! I think you have me confused with a woman.

Ohhh, she burned you, dude!

Oh, so you couldn't get in to a sorority?

Frylock

I'm a man, all right?!

This is beat. Total sausage party. Uhh...I think. C'mon D.P., let's get out of here.

Well, what else is open besides, your mouth, when you're like kissing on some gay dude and like holding his, like, muscles cause his arms are just like, wrapped around you and you feel like so safe, cause you're like, not that you're gay or nothing, but god you just want to bury yourself in his chest and just live there forever.

Frylock

...I'm outta here.

D to the P, let's go, I got the munchies.

Hang on, hang on...[starts talking to Shake] what's your name, babe?

Master Shake

I'm Shake.

Ah, you wanna take me to your dorm room for a drink or somethin'?

Master Shake

No, but I believe this little lady needs to have a life experience.

Come here...

What you doin'?! Don't kiss me!

What? It's cool, I got a rubber. What?!

You stay outside. You scarin' me.

Frylock

Carl, let her go! You're highly infected! Carl I'm afraid... you've been clowned!

Yeah, I thought my flip flops felt a little tight.

Whoa, was my hair this curly last night?

Master Shake

What, are you fishing for compliments? You know, that's a horrible personality trait, nobody likes that.

You, uh, you have a brush I could borrow?

Frylock

We don't, we're all, uh, bald.

I got me one.

I use this for my teeth, and my hair.

Oh, yeah, I forgot. I live next to a third world hell hole.

Frylock

Are you here about the termites?

Oh yeah, partly. I'm certainly not gonna sign for any more packages with the word "Congo" written in blood.

Frylock

You're taking this pretty well, Carl. Usually you're a little more pissed off when we pull stuff like this.

Yeah, y'know, I don't lose my cool as easily anymore. I've kinda gone through some changes in the past 24 hours.

[ominously] The Clowning has begun!

Who said? Someone say something? Hello? Eh, friggin' air vent.

God, I wanted him to see me! I wanted to say "It was me. I said it".

You fool!

God, don't you occasionally just wanna freak people out?

He must never know.

Oh, you got it, bud. Think he won't figure out when his feet grow to the size of pontoons?

Do you mock the Clown Society?

Look, I'll handle this Bingo. You just get in your little midget car, and your fucking big feet, and you fucking fly around.

Okay, but I'm telling Sparkles!

Oh good, then that means you're leaving! Now friggin' go, you stupid clown!