(calling Carl) Hey buddy, how's it going? You know, I just happened to check the pH levels of your pool and they are incredibly high! Not good. Fix it or I'm getting a lawyer. Okay, bye!
Yeah, it's cool. We're all good.
[They bring a pool float and sunglasses next door. Carl's house is surrounded by metal poles]
You were home the whole time?
Well, he don't ever leave the house, he's one of them, um, shutoffs. Sh-shutout. Wait, what the hell is it called?
I never thought you'd screen with me, Carl.
(insincerely) Oh, I was just lightin' the grill, waiting for you guys to come over! Have a little barbeque, little beer...you know I love you guys.
Carl, you alright? You're acting strange.
Hey, race over here! Last one in is a rotten egg!
[Lasers emit from the poles when Meatwad gets close. They back away, shocked]
Aw, come on, why'd you stop?! Keep coming, ya so close.
[he runs the float by the lasers, causing it to pop and burn]
[lasers come out the roof of Carl's house and shoot the float]
Good, it works. Now, you try doing that with your body now.
(waving sunglasses around) Carl, top shelf. Not the high-end model, but it works for you and, y'know, your income bracket, but don't worry, I'm not going to tell anybody how cheap you are.
[Shake accidently waves the sunglasses into the lasers, cutting them]
Yeah, come closer there, Shakeman. You won't tell anybody anything. Ever again.
SSkeeter
[at Carl] Dude, you wanna move your thing? You almost killed us!
Yeah, are you, like, begging me instead to, like, mess up your pizza face in front of your girlfriend over there [points at Frylock], 'cause I'll do it, man!
SSkeeter
[holding D.P. back] Dude, dude, it's not worth it!
No, man, look at my ship!!! [points to his wrecked spaceship] My dad is gonna be pissed!
SSkeeter
[to Carl] Do you know who his dad is?! He is totally rich...he will totally hook you up.....dude....we're drunk!
These friends of yours, Fryman?
Hey, where's the club? I need to piss.
They came from space, you know...typically, that means you're somehow connected.
Carl, I've never seen them before in my life.
So, you don't mind if I talk to her? [points to Frylock]
Her??! Ha-ha, yeah, knock yourself out. She's a regular ho-bag.
[to Frylock] 'Sup, little lady?
SSkeeter
Dude, she's got a bit of a 'stache.
It's all right, she's good to go [gives Skeeter a fistbump]. So...my dad's totally rich, we own this dealership, and, uh, what sorority are you in?
'Scuse me?! I think you have me confused with a woman.
SSkeeter
Ohhh, she burned you, dude!
Oh, so you couldn't get in to a sorority?
SSkeeter
This is beat. Total sausage party. Uhh...I think. C'mon D.P., let's get out of here.
Well, what else is open besides, your mouth, when you're like kissing on some gay dude and like holding his, like, muscles cause his arms are just like, wrapped around you and you feel like so safe, cause you're like, not that you're gay or nothing, but god you just want to bury yourself in his chest and just live there forever.
SSkeeter
D to the P, let's go, I got the munchies.
Hang on, hang on...[starts talking to Shake] what's your name, babe?
Ah, you wanna take me to your dorm room for a drink or somethin'?
No, but I believe this little lady needs to have a life experience.
[Shake hands Meatwad to D.P.; D.P. proceeds to kiss him.]
What you doin'?! Don't kiss me!
What? It's cool, I got a rubber. What?!
You stay outside. You scarin' me.
Dude, your buddy here is givin' me a rash.
He usually doesn't drink this much!
Shake, will you sit down?
P.D., I know how to throw... down. Dude! And I almost said "throw up", but I didn't. I hold my boobs... my booze! But I hold boobs all day, too!
Yeah, this is beer number two for him, right?
