Carl quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Shake

Out of the way! I will ruin this bird with my anger!

Turkatron

[while choking Carl] Drop the chainsaw if you want him to live.

..help me...

Shake

I call the dark meat!

Shotgun!

Frylock

Shake, put that damn chainsaw down! Give it here!

Shake

But I did call shotgun.

Frylock

Lord, thank you for this food we are about to receive...

Shake

[Interrupting the prayer, whispering] Excuse me, little help? Could I have the tacos please?

Frylock

ahem This bounty of tacos...

Shake

[Interrupts again] Could you pass the tacos? Could you pass me the tacos? [louder] Could you pass me the TACOS?!

Frylock

HERE!

Shake

Okay, then.

This roll is wet!

Shake

Sorry, please go on.

Frylock

Ahem. For the fellowship we have w--

Hey, hey. Wait. What's a fellowship?

Shake

It's a gay bar down on 9th. Aren't you glad we're thanking the Lord for a nautically themed gay bar?!

Frylock

For the fellowship we have with our neighbor, Carl!

No, no! Do not rope me into this! The Lord does not need to know that I am here!

I knew something wasn't normal, I'm not lettin' it slide this time - frickin' robot turkey - I knew something was up!

Turkatron

Is he mad?

Nah, don't worry about it. He's always got his butt chapped about somethin'.

(Looks ouside with a turkey leg and sees all the turkatrons) You have got to be freakin' kidding me.

Turkatron

What are you eating?

This is your, uh, great, great, great, uh... (sees all of them aim their laser socks at him and gets angry) Your mother! (They shoot at him and he explodes).

Frylock

Thanks for moving me, Carl.

Yeah, well... thanks for leavin'. When are the other two showin' up?

Frylock

Oh, they're not.

...What do you mean, they're not?

Frylock

Oh, you didn't know? They're stayin' in the house next to you.

...That's not exactly what we agreed upon, is it?

Frylock

...Well, I lied. But, here's that candy cane I promised you.

Naw, save it for Christmas. Just stick it right back up your ass. I'll, uh, see you never.

Frylock

You can't use the cloner to counterfeit money, Shake.

Master Shake

Look, we will discuss this when I feel like it. Right now, I gotta go get a new Camaro, 'cause that's where the shit is, baby!

Frylock

[as Shake leaves with a bag full of bills] There are limits to how much you can clone. Matter breaks down over time!

Master Shake

[heading out] Blah, blah, blah, blah, I'm sorry I'm not fluent in Dorkinese!

Frylock

Hmmm, well, on the other hand, I could use this to feed all the hungry children of the world. Yeah, with my new chain of family-style restaurants. [Puts dollars into the cloner and the money piles up] Oh, yeah. Oh, hell, yeah! [Phone rings] Yeah, I'm busy. What?

Hey, Fryman. Ordinarily, I wouldn't call you 'cause I don't like you, but you're on the TV, man. [Psychotic TV Frylock puts a six-pack on the floor] Check out channel...666. That's weird.

Frylock

Look, Carl, I don't have time...

Whoa! Hang on, I'm on it now! That is me. [Psychotic TV Frylock high-fives TV Carl and hands him the beer] Awesome! Awesome! Friggin' awesome! I'm on TV! I look pretty good. Chicken skin diet's really paying off for me. [Psychotic TV Frylock, after a toast, shoots TV Carl] Oh, God. You stay far away from this house. Do you hear me?! Far away!

Master Shake

[from inside Carl's house] Get your mouth off of me! Yeah we moved to Honolulu, shut up!

Ay, you know what? They actually moved to Honolulu. Can you believe that? I just found this out.

Oh, well...then give me my note back.

Happy Time Harry

Hey did you hear- aw jeez. They're in the house!

That's impossible. They moved to Honolulu.

We ain't moved to no Honolulu-

Master Shake

[kicks Meatwad] Shut up.

Please, all together, hold hands.

No, no no no. No, no. No, sir. I don't know what kinda vibe you think got off me but I don't play that way. I'm not that way!

Frylock

Carl..

I don't uh... do both sides of the field. Offense and defense, you know, with the short shorts? No-

Frylock

Carl, it's just a seance, it's not that way, come on, will ya?

Now, please. Kiss him deep with tongue.

Do what?!

Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho. Just kid. Just kid, dirty boy. Touch hands.

You boyfriend and boyfriend!

Frylock

Meatwad!

Please. Read from sheets. I Am...

I Am...

Sofa King...

Sofa King...

We Todd Ed...

We Todd Ed...

Now, repeat all very fast, please.

I Am Sofa King...

Faster.

I Am Sofa King We...

No, no, not so fast. Loses meaning.

I Am Sofa King We Todd Ed.

Hohohohoh, you say funny thing.

Cash our check and you will get...immortal.

Err

Neverending life.

...Nah. Sometimes I kinda wanna die.

Hey how you guys doin'? Anybody without a gun, a knife, a handkerchief and a chapstick get the fuck outta here!

Frylock

Who are you?

Shake

Gee Whiz?

That is FREAKIN TED NUGENT! [shot with an arrow] Ahh! you shot my arm!

Sorry man, thought you were a varmin.

Shake

Wango ze tango eh?

Yes it is my image you saw in that billboard

Shake

I kept tellin' him, Ted Nugent. He's stupid

Which of you numbnuts left a dollar in front of my billboard?

Hey Nug, you gonna sign my arrow?

Don't move man.

I got a Cat Scratch Fever loincloth I still wear on laundry night.

I'm tellin' ya, don't move!

Why, what's the- AAAAAHHH!! [Carl explodes; rainbow appears]

Frylock

Well I'm sure glad that wasn't blood. I would have been motherfuckin' offended out of my fuckin' ass.

Master Shake

Me too, ya motherfuckin' cock-suck.

[green check mark appears] Acceptable!

What the hell is that?

Master Shake

It takes your MP3's that you download live off the Internet and transforms them into this song!

Yeah but will it do the ultimate song... Boston's "More Than A Feeling"?

Master Shake

What are you doing?

Painting you with honey.

Master Shake

Eh, that could be cool ... [notices a package on the ground] Is that... is that my package?

Nuh-uh. This is MY package.

Master Shake

No it's not, it's mine!

I'm allowed to get a package if I want to.

Master Shake

OK, so what's in your package that's not mine?

I dunno, let's see ... (opens package) BEES, BOY, BEES!!!

Master Shake

AHH, CARL!!! HELP! I'M BEING ATTACKED BY BEES HERE!!!!

Bees? didja get that link I sent you, about the woman having sex with a bee?

Master Shake

Will you shut up?!

Master Shake

You know, I'm kinda gettin' a bad headache.

Yeah, I know what you mean, man.

Master Shake

And I don't know if it's this song, or if it is the heavy magnets that were inserted into the base of my neck.