Willie Nelson quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

(Willie throws the TV out the window) HEY! That was my window to the world!

WNWillie Nelson (the monster)

Well now it's been shattered by the monster. Pretty scary, right?

No! Whats that word that's the exact opposite of scary?

Tacos?

Taco?! Where?! Get outta my way, those are mine I made them!

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There's a monster? In the attic?!

Willie Nelson

Yeah... um, I was driven here by the villagers... when I was doing 30 in a 25... and, uhm, I guess when I say villagers, it's more like this one guy... I really didn't know him.. but- eh, I knew him, but it's not like we were buds or anything.

Do you want him to repeat that?

Frylock

No, I heard it.

(disdainfully) Well, thanks for joining us, now.

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You are the gayest monster since gay came to Gaytown!

Willie Nelson

Whoa! Easy! Where's this coming from?

No! Let's get down to it. What I say is very baffling!

Frylock

(Pulling Shake away from Willie) Hey, whoa you two. We don't want any trouble here, alright?

Willie Nelson

No I'm with you. I don't think violence solves anything.

God, you're gay! You don't think violence solves anything?! WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU?!

Willie Nelson

Look, I'm-- I'm pretty hardcore. I mean, I've been known to do a number on plenty of guys.

Do a number? Yeah, I bet you do a number, in your tights on broadway, which is where you moved to after ya left Texas Chainsaw Mascara, where you're from!

Willie Nelson

What's he talking about?

How much you wanna bet me you couldn't scare Jack?

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You wanna see how to scare the neighbor? Check this out.

[Shake rings the doorbell and runs away.]

[answering] What?

Hey, catch!

[thrown at Carl] Hey Carl.

[knocked to the floor] Aaaah! Get him off, get him off, get him off...

Willie Nelson

Cool, can I try that?

No. Only I can do that.

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[Willie is getting ready to scare Carl]

WHAT?!!

Willie Nelson

Uh...

What do you want?!

Yeah, what do you want?

Willie Nelson

[forgetting his lines] Uh...what are you doing here?

I live here, asshole!

And I'm just visiting.

Willie Nelson

Well, listen, did you get any of my mail? Willie Nelson?

Hang on, lemme look.

Eat me.

[slams door]

Willie Nelson

If it shows up, bring it over. If you dare. God, I suck.

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Willie

Wait, so, are we trying to scare him or are we trying to kill him?

Killing is scaring.

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[introducing Carl to Willie Nelson the monster]

Hey, Carl!

Who's this, your frickin' mother?!

Willie Nelson

No, Carl. It's your neighbor, Willie Nelson. I got chased here by the villagers.

Well, villager...

Yeah, that's a great story. See ya.

[slams door]

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Frylock

What's up with the razor?

Willie Nelson

Oh, well, I shave once every couple days. It's nerve-wracking. It's supposed to be.

Shake

Well, it's not.

[horrified] You shave up there?!

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Now remember: You have NO regard for human life, especially women, because they have the organs that you wish that YOU had! So you want to make a suit from them.

Willie Nelson

I don't wanna make a suit!

Listen to me, that's how it's done. All you concern yourself with is KILL KILL KILL!!! You GOT IT?! None of this "the shaving, the shaving" crap! Cause it's throwing you off! And Who is gonna stop you ANYWAY?! You're immortal!

Willie Nelson

Are you sure? I-I-That doesn't sound right.

Please uh, do me another favor. Lose the shaving. Monsters don't groom themselves! THEY'RE FREAKING MANIACS! UUUUHH!!