Carl quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Why aren't your lips moving?

Look, my shniggys, I had a strizzoke in my brizzain, okay? You know what I'm sayin'? So I can't move all good. Thanks for bringing that up, thank you very much!

Frylock

So, did they, um … ever find your car?

Oh, they found part of it, you know, hang'n from a trestle near the turnpike. Yeah the cops said he had a … a "straw-like protrusion" and a "cup-like body." You know anybody like 'at?

Frylock

Uh, well, it wasn't Shake, Carl. He was abducted by aliens earlier this afternoon.

Oh, I knew that. Yeah, of course.

Frylock

He was … seriously.

I hate you!

Hey, where's Meat Mountain there?

Frylock

You mean Meatwad.

Oh no, they were callin' 'im Meat Mountain last night.

Shake

Okay, I'm gonna go.

Frylock

You're not going anywhere Shake.

Yeah, ya gotta come check this out man. Igloo, hot dog, igloo, that bit. But the whole time the stripper's shakin' it in front of 'im.

Frylock

My goodness! Where was this?!

The warehouse in front of Girls For You, you know, the lingerie modeling place.

Frylock

Uh, no, I don't know Carl.

Well-ell, twenty bucks, twenty minutes. I'm tellin' ya, one Friday night, you and me Fry-man, blow the lid off the joint! Yeah-heh!

Frylock

I don't think so Carl.

What, you gay?

Frylock

Wow, the crowd is really getting off on this.

Well, that's great. I'm so happy for 'em. Where are the strippers?!

Yeah, you the supervisor? Where were the strippers?

Randy

Didn't need 'em. Meat Mountain pulls in the crowd all by himself.

Well you give me back my $2.50, 'cause I ain't payin' for something that happens every day on the hood of my car!

Shake

Hey, look at me! I'm stupid as hell, I can't even breathe properly, let alone read! What's that?

Randy

And now.. the Amazing Arctic Igloo!

Shake

What?!

Frylock

Yeah, turn into that Igloo!

Take your top off!!

Frylock

Carl...

Randy

Yeah..so..where is that, Milkshake?

Shake

Well I uh.. (takes off his costume and shows it's really him in disguise with hair under his eyes) Look it's the Amazing Milkshake with the Bearded Eyes!!

[Wearing the Mummy's Hat] I'm the King! King Carl!

[Yelling in the Background]

[Mimicing Egyptian Music] Da da da da daaa, you know I'm your ruler!

CURSE! CUUURSE!

Huh hun huh hee, yeah [Mummy continuing to yell] SHUT UP!

Shoot, I'm so dumb as hell I'll never get hired in today's fast-paced world. I'm just gonna go inside and wait for my body to die.

[Narrating] Aw, c'mon Meatwad, you can't be that dumb.

What, is this not my room?

What do you think?

......Yes?

Well, damn. Maybe Meatwad is that dumb.

Ohh, do not tell me that that is my car up there on the roof!

Okay, we won't.

Get it down!

Okay.

Wait, wait no don't! [car crashes to the ground] DAMMIT!

Oh, man. I cannot wait. I got the oils, the candles, the works! When does that babe get here?

Master Shake

Carl, don't refer to her as a "babe", please. She is a Chechnyan prostitute, and you will address her as such.

Look, just don't cash that check immediately. I wanna make sure that both of us marryin' her is gonna be, you know, legal.

Master Shake

Of course it is! What are you kidding me? Santa Claus ain't legal and he's around.

Well, I guess that makes sense, you know.

Look, would you just hold it with your hands?!

Master Shake

I can do two things at the same time, chubby.

No, ya can't!

Master Shake

[reading a magazine to himself] Huey Lewis making a comeback!

Hey, get back here! I think I need some help here!

Master Shake

Yeah, I know you do.

Get back here!

Master Shake

Well, there ain't gonna be no dinner this year.

Frylock

What about your girlfriend. I thought she was gonna cook.

Master Shake

"Co-fiancee." Let's get it right, please.

Frylock

"Co-"?

Master Shake

Yeah, you know, I'll split her with Carl. So he's "co-owner."

Frylock

You're depraved.

Master Shake

Yes, thank you, I think she sees that quality in me. But that damn Carl is so Selfish.

Carl should remember the reason for the season.

Master Shake

The reason for the season is pleasin and I ain't gettin much pleasin and Carl better get his ass with the program.

Get with what program, Cup?

Hey fry-man, you think I can get you to come over here and uh, blow a frickin' hole in my wall?

Frylock

What's wrong, Carl?

Well, for starters, she's barricaded herself inside the house. And every time she talks to me, it's in this, like, language. It's like some demon yelling at me, or something!

Okay, I'm awake. Let's, uh, friggin go get married.

Oh Good!

Master Shake

Yeah, brotha!

Let's get married, yeah!

Frylock

And do you, Svetlana... what does this say?

Look, just say Smith or Jones or something... there's no way you can pronounce that right.

Frylock

Svetlana Smith take Carl...

Just say Smith again, it don't matter... none of this matters.

Frylock

...Smith to be your lawfully wedded husband...

Master Shake

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Frylock

...to honor...

Master Shake

Back up! Rewind!

Frylock

...take Carl, and Master Shake...

Master Shake

That's more like it.

Frylock

to be your lawfully wedded husbands as long as you three shall live.

[speaking Russian, from inside Carl's house]

Alright, yeah!

Master Shake

Alright, score!

Sweet nectar!

Frylock

Okay, now shove the ring under the door.

Master Shake

No, we're not doing the ring, I'm not gettin' roped into all that.

Frylock

How can you not have a ring?

Master Shake

No, it ends here. I haven't seen food once since she's shown up.

He's right, let's do this thing - light this candle.

Frylock

By the power invested in me by the state of New Jersey I now pronounce you men and wife. You may now kiss the door.

Master Shake

Blow it open Frylock.

Do it!

[speaking Russian; escapes]

Svetlana, baby?

Master Shake

Great! Great!

Oh Man! She got the car.

Well technically, it's half hers now, right? Or a third, I don't know.

Introducing the new Misters and Mrs. Bertwoski!

It's Brutananadilewski! And you get the hell out of here!

Master Shake

No way, you are staying! We got him 'til two.