A character in Aqua Teen Hunger Force
4th most-quoted character in Aqua Teen Hunger Force: in 195 of its 785 quotes
Most scenes with: Master Shake (70), Frylock (70), Meatwad (62)
You're the Ghost of Christmas Past...right?
That is correct.
Okay, well... I mean, you know that it's February...right?
[pause] I am a robot.
Well, you know, obviously. What are you, stupid?
[stutters] I will see you in December, tomorrow!
Okay, whatever there, just lock your door on the way-
[breaks through the wall] Do what?
Nevermind, just leave!
[Flashback to Carl's house on Christmas in 1968]
[opening his present] Oh boy, oh boy, I hope this is a new mommy!
Yeah, it's not. Unwrap it, ya little creep, we gotta be at work in an hour.
What is this, da– is this carpet, daddy?
Carpet? No. It's berber; that's an industry term.
Hey, it's like a flyin' magic carpet here! Look at this, I'm flyin' around in Egyptland!
[cuts Carl off] Yeah, that's cute. Don't get too attached there, Aladdin, 'cause its about to be magic flyin' dinner.
[looking worried] Y-you can't eat carpet... Silly Daddy.
No, of course you can't, like that. You gotta boil it, so the glue gets soft, ya know.:[looks at his watch] Oh jeez, look at the time!
But it's Christmas, Daddy!
You're not getting out of this! Put on your work boots and your respirator! I pulled a lot of strings to get them to hire an 8-year-old!
[crying and muttering to himself] Don't make me go! I don't wanna make insulation!
C'MON, WE'RE LATE!!!!
OH GOD!
[Robot appears and lasers shoot everywhere]
You remember that Christmas, don't you?
Yeah, well, you know, I remember eating carpet. Not so much the, uh, lasers and the robots.
I hate to be a buzz kill, but he said that your house is on elf graves and they're pissed off.
All right, fine, we'll do that.
And the blood's just gonna keep flowing, unless ….
Unless Carl pays tribute to the Elfin Elders in space.
I'll do it. What do I do?
You must give up yourself to the Great Red Ape.
Okay … how much?
Sexually.
… wonderful.
What did you say your name was again?
Danzig, mother fucker! I got a question: can you make the blood flow up the walls?
Lemme go talk to my blood guy over here.
I don't see why not.
That's elf blood, too. That ain't cheap--
How much you want?
Oh, I dunno...a million?
Killer. Draft the check tomorrow.
You're serious--THANK YOU GOD!!
Yeah, I can't pretend to know what you're going through right now, but... you let go, okay? Thank you. If you need anything, you know who to look to: someone else.
If only we wouldn't have gotten him that pet.
Don't–
I mean, he would have been here today.
Don't beat yourself up over it. There's nothing you can do about this. I mean, it-it kinda was your fault, but... but, hey, screw it. They're dead and you're not.
I appreciate it, Carl. I really do.
Is this a cemetery? This is a construction site, isn't it?
[Carl is at Frylock's door. Carl hands Frylock a Fruit Roll-Up]
Here. It's a Fruit Roll-Up. I was gonna make ya a casserole for your loss, but, uh... but I didn't.
Mmm, thanks.
I was gonna yell my brains out at ya but, because of your loss, I might just gently ask: What happened last night with all the noise?
Carl, Carl, Carl. [chuckles] Why don't you mind your own damn business before I carve you up like a Christmas goose? You wanna taste of what I did to that snake? 'Cause I'll do it to you, too!
Fryman. Man. You changed. [Frylock stabs Carl]
Aw, for the better?
[Frylock dumps Carl's body in a dumpster]
[chuckles darkly] There goes the neighborhood.
You killed us! I told you not to do it and you did it... anyways.
No, I didn't!
Yes, you did!
No I didn't!
Yes, you did
No, I didn't!
Yes! you did!
No, I didn't!
Yes, you did!
No, I didn't!
Yes, you did!
No, I didn't!
Yes! you did!
No, I didn't!
Yes, you did!
No, I didn't!
...yeah, you did.
No, I didn't!
Yeah! You did!
No, I didn't!
You did!
No, really, I didn't!
Yes, you did
No, I didn't!
Yes! You did!
No, I did not!
Wait! Did you just say that you did?
He did?
What, did he say that he did?
No, I said I didn't.
...cause you did!
No, I didn't!
Did, too.
Didn't!
Did.
Didn't!
Did!
No, I didn't!
Yes, you did!
Watch the fire. Over there. You're gonna burn yourself.
Oh, thank you. ...but you did!
No, I didn't!
Yes, you did!
No, I didn't!
You so friggin' did!
No, I didn't!
Of course you did!
No, I did not!
Yes, you did!
No, I didn't!
Well, yeah, you did.
No, I didn't!
Yes, you did!
No!
Yes, you did!
No, I didn't!
You did!
No, I didn't!
You friggin' did!
No!
Yes, you did!
No really, I didn't!
Yes, you did! Yes, you did! Yes, you did! Yes, you did! Yes, you did!
Hey, Carl.
Hey, hey, hey, just the man I wanted to see. I done heard through the grape vine that someone won a big prize recently.
Yup, I won two tickets to the Super Ball.
No, it's, it's "Bowl." It's cute that you said that 'cause you's a frickin' idiot.
[At night, Shake smiles at Meatwad in his room. He grabs a gutter from behind him and turns his smile into a frown]
I didn't leave my keys in here. Silly! Uh, this must be the wrong... PLACE!
[playing football with Meatwad] Okay, so you've got the ball. Now you wanna wrap your... uh, you know, that stretchy little, sticky thing...
[grabbing the football and pushing it into his face, distorting his features] Like dis?
No.
[with the football sitting on his head, and four "arms" of meat waving around] What about dis?
(frowning) No, not like... that, either... no...
(with the ball in his mouth) How about this?
Oh... whatever. It's... going right in the trash after this, so... uhhh... yeah, let 'er rip!
[spits out the football]
Yeah, hooray... we won! Who are you takin' to the Super Bowl?
Okay, time out here. Look, ever since my son was... never conceived since I've never had consensual sex without there being money involved, I've always thought of you as something that I could sorta... live next to... in accordance with state laws.
That's so sweet. You tryin' to say that you love me.
Whoah, let's not put people on the spot here.
[Carl puts on a foam "#1" glove.]
[angrily] WHO ARE YOU TAKING TO THAT FRICKIN' SUPERBOWL?!
Carl, your finger!
[To Meatwad] Who are you taking?
Yeah, who are you takin'?
Carl? How did you get in here?
The window, jackass. WHO ARE YOU TAKIN'?!?!?!
[Carl's house]
What do you mean you've "gotta count those"? There's over $200 in there! Oohh, okay Candy. I guess we're not in America. I guess now I'm not allowed to pay for sex with pennies. [gets hit with super computer as Candy takes money]
Damn, Carl. I thought you knew hoes would be hoes, brother.
[Master Shake and Meatwad go to Carl for a plastic surgeon]
We callin' in da pros now. Is your buddy out of prison yet?
Which one? 'Cause there's three.
Oh, you know which one. The guy that was in the hotel with the people...and the welding.
Oh, Terry! Yeah, yeah, he's out, but uh, part of his parole is he's not supposed ta, you know, do what he was doin'...to flesh.
We need him, otherwise people are gonna look at me and wonder what could have been.
All right, whatever. We'll meet at the docks at midnight. I get a 10% finder's fee. You never saw me.
Fine, but I'll need a receipt, 'cause this is a business expense.
[Outside of Terry's]
(hands Shake a liquor bottle) Alright, he wants you to, uh, drink all that before you go in there.
Eeeeeasily done, my friend! Now you're talking my language. (points to a bedpost) What's this thing for?
Yeah, that? You bite down on, so you don't swallow your tongue.
(puts it in his mouth) Now?
(amused) Oh, you'll know when. I feel pretty sure of that.
Alright! Hello, Hollywood, let the games begin, baby!
[Shake goes inside and starts screaming]
(unsettled) Listen to that. Goodness. Boy, he's doing some work, isn't he?
Yeah.
(in background) I want that higher.
Yeah, he builds hot rods, mostly. Sometimes faces.
Well, we just thank you, Carl. You been real good to us.
Yeah, shut up, I need my money now.
[Shake comes out covered in a cast. Meatwad and Carl warily look around]
Whoa! He's quick and relatively clean! Ya know, this beats the jungle surgery any day; snakes everywhere down there, you can't get rid of them.
Oh, I see he sold you on the Tijuana Supremo package.
Right? Ya know, initially I was skeptical, but once I saw them in his showroom...I mean, come on, you'd be a fool not to get it!
Master ShakeDana Snyder · 394 quotes
MMeatwad334 quotes
FrylockCarey Means · 329 quotes
IIgnignokt30 quotes
ErrMatt Maiellaro · 27 quotes
OglethorpeAndy Merrill · 26 quotes
EEmoryMike Schatz · 20 quotes
Cybernetic GhostMatt Maiellaro · 12 quotes
TurkatronMatt Maiellaro · 12 quotes
WDr. Weird11 quotes
SSteve11 quotes
Happy-Time HarryDavid Cross · 10 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force · 785 quotes