Carl quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

All right! The real rainbow! I did it! I brought happiness and joy to us all!

Master Shake

Wow!

Oh, good.

Well, I gotta go...see ya later.

Good morning, Carl!

Yeah, it is a good morning there little man...it's three in the morning!!!!!!!!

Look, all I know is that this cord here was plugged into my house, and your house was glowin' like the frickin' sun! So I put two and two together there hey, and decided that you're pissin' me off.

Master Shake

We are truly sorry, Carl, and it will probably never happen again. Can we have our cord back?

No, no there. I'm just gonna keep it there, since it's uh, mine anyways.

(knocks on Carl's door) Hello, Carl. I am Ignignokt, and this is Err.

Err

I am Err!

We are Mooninites from the inner core of the Moon.

Err

You said it right!

Our race is hundreds of years beyond yours.

Err

Man, do you hear what he's sayin'?!

Some would say that the Earth is our moon.

Err

We're the moon.

But that would belittle the name of our moon... which is the Moon.

Err

The point is, we're at the center. Not you!

No, the real point is: I don't give a damn! (slams door)

Using keys to gouge expletives onto another's vehicle is a sign of trust and friendship.

Who did this to my frickin' car!!??

Frylock

Grab my potatoes, Carl!

Sure, why not?

Frylock

Ooh. Damn! What dimension was that? Carl, your hands!

Yeah, I know, I see 'em; they're very big. Well, it was fun. I'm gonna go take a nap now and then I think I'm gonna call, uh, some hospitals.

Frylock

You cannot cut someone's lawn with matches, Meatwad!

Look, I know that. You gotta have gasoline, otherwise how's it gonna spread to the street?

(banging on the Aqua Teen's door) Open this damn door now!

Oh, is he mad? Don't open it.

I heard that! Open this door!

Frylock

Uh, Shake...

Shake

What do you want?

Frylock

Carl is here...

Shake

How did you get this--I'm not here!

Oh, you're not there?

Shake

Hello, Carl.

Hey, buddy, how ya doin' there? Pizza Land, huh? That's lots of fun. Hey, uh, I wanted to let you know that YOU BURNED MY FRICKIN' HOUSE DOWN!!!!!!!!!!

Shake

But the grass is gone---

Oh yea the grass is gone, just like how your face is gonna be gone after I SHOVE IT IN A PASTRAMI SLICER!!!

[after Carl's house has burned down] Hey Carl, you want me to shampoo the rug?

What's the frickin' point, Meatman?

So you can give me some money.

Hey, buddy!

Shake

Hey, Carl! Hey! Lawn looks great!

Likin' it?

Shake

Why's your house all curled up?

I don't know, I was hoping maybe we could have a little dialogue about that.

Shake

Hey, that's a nice tire iron, Carl. Is that yours?

Yeah, let me get in there and show you the finish on it. Up close.

Taste the chrome!

Did you see a woman in a bikini with a six-pack of beer and a surfboard come in here?

Frylock

Was it made of cardboard, used to be up at the liquor store?

Uhh...no.

Frylock

Shake, what is wrong with you?

Master Shake

What's wrong with you? Hey, why don't you go kiss your new best friend, you love him so damn much! I'm the one who cleaned the kitchen. I'm the authority!

[at the door] Someone wanna tell me why my pool is full of hotdog chunks and dirty dishes?

Master Shake

Oh Carl, you didn't mess with it did ya? Cause it's gotta set up for a couple days with the battery.

The battery?

Master Shake

Yeah, you know, the one from your car. I dumped some shampoo in there too, but it's dog shampoo so I dunno if it's gonna work, but were prayin' like hell that it does.

No, no, no, I understand, I understand. I'm just gonna go, I'll be back in a few. You uh, you think that the gun store is still open?

Carl, please, I'll take care of the mess. He means well, he's just a little... well, I'd better not say.

Master Shake

What? I'm a little what?

Thank you, Drippy. You are very well-mannered and very nice. [To Master Shake] And you oughta take lessons from him!

Frylock

[agreeing with Carl] That's right!

[agreeing with both Frylock and Carl] Yeah, Shake. That's right!

Hey, which one of you guys has been playin' "I Like Candy", for a frickin' week?!?!

Frylock

It was your other neighbor.

Shake

Meatwad.

You know what? At this point, it doesn't matter, 'cause it keeps runnin' inside my head and it won't leave unless I blow it out, with a bullet!

Master Shake

[notices Carl's mouth is full] What you eating there, Carl? (walks over to him) You gonna show me some love?

Jawbreakers. For some reason, I can't get enough of 'em.

Master Shake

Is that why your teeth are blue?

Uh... no.

Master Shake

Oh. Uh... So, why are you...

Shut up. [brief silence, then begins singing] I like candy, bubblegum and ta--DAMN IT!!

Trick or treat, smell my meat...[Carl shuts the door]] ...Ah, man.

[Opens the door] Look, Meatman, what are you doing trick-or-treatin'?! It's frickin' May.

Look, I need candy. Now, are you going to give me some, or are you going to lose some teeth?

I know, I've only heard your little song a thousand times! Now I need candy and I don't know why.

Shhh... I don't listen to that kiddie crap any more, I'm check'n the adult jams now, see, check it. MC Pee Pants don't just want candy now, that's childish, he needs it. And when you need something that's a responsibility, that only only an adult... of my maturity... bunnies!

Yeah, I got a deal at the dumpster, I mean, warehouse. Yeah, you might want to wipe the juice off 'em.