I should be dead, or at least, be able to control things with my mind.
S9Max Jets
S9Naked to the Limit, One More Time
[Hayley in shock about Roger sending him into space]
What... the hell... just happened... my Jeff, my dear sweet...my dear sweet... my Jeffmmmm.
[Roger shouting at Hayley while the Smiths are all in the car]
Hurry up, Hayley. You're sitting in the middle.
[Roger about to contact his home planet to let them pick him up]
Do I have to go? My planet is freezing cold, there's no booze and sex is so boring up there, it's all consensual.
S9For Black Eyes Only
You haven't said a thing about my paintings.
Am I out of my mind...or am I out of my socks?
Stan (as he sprays Tearjerker): No! No!
(screams)
No stab!
Ah! Detroit tap water!
S9Spelling Bee My Baby
[whispering] Space rape.
Any man who ever did anything great was just trying to show up some piece of ass who didn't give him any.
SBSpelling Bee Host
Okay, you spelled "sacrikiss" while gazing into the boy's eyes.
S9The Missing Kink
Well, there are ways to get people to do what you want without they're knowing it.
Are you suggesting I trick him?
Sure, it's easy. I once got him to drink my pee by telling him it was a fancy beer.
What an idiot.
The church sent missionaries to America to teach the Indians the correct method of sex. In return, they taught us the correct method of sitting in second grade.
S9The Boring Identity
[to an old friend] I haven't seen you in 10 years! Are you still 30?
[after capturing Osama Bin Laden at Doug & Buster's] We've finally got him!
BBullocks
We're Americans, damn it!
[notices something] Whoa, check out that sweet game!
I've been sitting here like a dry-throated bitch, you duke fiend.
Mama, when's Daddy coming home?
Hopefully not before the futon market cools off.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.