Adventure Time Season 5 quotes

Finn

[deep, man's voice] Davey.

Jake

Oh, now have you lost your teacups, man?

Finn

No more Davey!

But you love being Davey.

Finn

I do love being Davey but being Davey caused Jake to be arrested!

But remember that time when Davey sat in the park and saw some people walkin' around?

Finn

Yeah, that was nice.

And remember that time when Davey swept the floors?

Finn

Hehehe... Yeah, that was great too. But...

Do you really wanna go back to bein' a famous hero? Why not just be Davey? Simple man with simple goals and simple problems... You can just blend in and live the simple life.

Finn

Yeah, blend in... Y'know, maybe I'll be Davey... just one more time. One more time...

Tree Trunks

[nudges Shelby on top of her head] Shelby? Shelby, wake up.

W-where am I? Tree Trunks, what's going on?

Tree Trunks

Uh, you've been snoozing on my dome. I just woke up in this room with these fellas: Nectar, Ice Cream, and one of the Lemoncarbs.

Lemongrab

Awake! Avast! Hold tight your buns, if buns you do hold dear, for time has come to wake and run AND NOT GIVE WAY TO FEAR!!!

Tree Trunks

What are those awful words?!

Lemongrab

I am reading the wall. They are wall words.

Tree Trunks

[reading] "Beyond this room are a thousand rooms, outside of them still more."

"Behind each door on every floor, danger, danger evermore!"

NEPTR

"Stranger, hark! The traps galore may kill you whilst you do explore to free yourself..." [Ice King stops scribbling on his book, looks back at the others]

Ice King

Huh? Oh! Now where were we? "To free yourself from this tomb and nevermore re-enter, find the room amidst the rooms that lies exactly center"? [glowing orange lines form a map on the walls]

It's a map!

Lemongrab

[walks to a color-coordinated door] This door lead to the center exit!

NEPTR

The door is secured with an esoteric encryption system.

Ice King

[picks up Tree Trunks] Well, that's okay 'cause you can "hack the mainframe" or whatever, right, BMO?

NEPTR

I'm not BMO. I'm your son, NEPTR. I-I throw pies.

Ice King

[beat, drops Tree Trunks] Ahhhs!! I grabbed the wrong robot! Dirt! Nuts! Face!!

Uhh, what is going on here, Ice King?

Tree Trunks

Yes. I am getting a weird feeling in my stomach, and I think it's 'cause of you, Mr. Wizard. You'd better fess up to whatever you're doing. I got no time for nobody dancin' around and actin' a fool at my expense. I'm Tree Trunks, and people know I'm kind and honest. That's why people like me. [Ice King scribbles his book]

Ice King

Huh? Wha-what? What was she saying?

Tree Trunks

So stop sellin' fib bibs and give it straight.

Ice King

Oh!! All right! I knocked y'all out and brought you here! [puts book in his beard] I'm sorry, but I had to do it! Each of you possess the exact qualities to pass the various tests of this dungeon. Tree Trunks, with your baking skills... Lemongrab, with your lemony, juicy...

Lemongrab

Essence.

Ice King

Yeah... Shelby, who should have been the bait for the fish.

Yeah, but no thanks.

Ice King

And BMO, who should have been here instead of this weird piece of junk that I don't remember nothin' about. [NEPTR strolls to the side] Argh!! I failed!

NEPTR

Father, look at me! [he throws a baked pie at the door, it short-circuits and recoils itself; Ice King gasps] Are you happy with me now, Papi?

Ice King

[pants] Yes! Yes! [picks up and hugs NEPTR] Oh, my son! The grand prize of me loins!

[approaches to the Candy Kingdom, stops] Whoa, hold the phone. What is this powerful new juice coursing fromst my core source? Arrrrrrgh! The juice aches! Is this the rumored ache of feeling? The feeling of caring unknown to lemons? New thoughts emerge... If I act, the Candy People will suffer... If I don't, the Lemon People will suffer. The greater good demands but one course only—that I dissolve the bonds uniting me and become component to all!

Finn

[sees Lemongrabs in dungeon] There they are! Hey, Lemongrabs, we're here! We're gonna get you out, just hold tight!

Go away.

No food here.

Jake

Maybe the kidnapper's in here, too, coercing them.

Finn

Probably the grossest one of all, too—beet-red skin, barf, poopin' all its junk-sculpture.

Jake

Ugh, stop it! You're just makin' it worse! Let's just get this over with. [punches doors]

Finn

Lemongrabs, you are free!

They broke the door! The door is broken now!

FIX THE DOOOOOR!!!!

Jake

Fix the door? What? What? Fix the door? Fix what? What's goin' on here? "Fix the door?" Finn, what's goin' on?! "Fix the door?!"

It doesn't matter anymore.

There is no more candy to horde. Let them keep what crumbs they find. [the lemon creatures sniff and lick the floor] For there are no crumbs.

MMMMNNOOOOOO CUUURRUUUMMBS!!!

Wizard

Whomever the hat possesses gains the proportional strength of a hat! Look out, he's got the horse again!!

Finn

Didn't Lady tell you not to use the Sassage flare?

Jake

Yeah.

Finn

Well, don't abuse it man, cos you're gettin'...

Jake

I'm gettin' what?

Finn

Cos you're getting fat.

Finn

What was that?

Jake

He was saying "evil, evil, evil" over and over again.

Finn

Yeah, I-I heard.

Jake

Oh, I wasn't sure if you heard, 'cause he was whispering.

Finn

Yeah. I heard.

Ugh, he's so annoying.

Jake

I was just trying to help!

Oh, not you, Jake, my dad. I always catch him whispering stuff into my ear while I'm not paying attention. He keeps saying I'm evil. [Finn stands up on the table]

Finn

Whoa! You best not be believing that whack bunk. I bet he's trying to make your life bad so you'll think you're evil. But you're really not!

How can I know for sure?

Finn

..Dungeons.

What?

Finn

Let's have a good time in a dungeon or something. That always clears my head and reminds me of what's what.

And... that'll make me good?

Finn

No, that'll show you not to worry so much, 'cause you're already good... in here. [taps his chest looking for his heart]

Okay... yeah! Let's do it!

Finn

Dungeons!

Dungeons!

Finn

Okay, this guy's too big to intimidate, but I have a plan. First, you shoot some fire at that rope. The chandelier falls, distracts the monster. We run in—element of surprise.

Wow.

Finn

You ready?

Yeah. [Finn walks, stops]

Finn

Before we go in, how good are you at quietly throwing a tiny bit of fire?

Uh, what?

Finn

Like on a scale of one to a hundred, how good are you at quietly throwing a tiny bit of fire at a rope fifty feet away?

Uh...

Finn

Scale of one to a hundred.

[pause] 42.

Finn

[out loud] 42?!

Well, I don't know. I never rated myself.

Finn

No, that's cool. That's cool. Just try and hit that rope.

Finn

Huh...? Where am I?

This is the rookery, where I and my bird friends dwell!

Finn

So are you like the Great Bird Man?

That's what they call me nowadays. But when I first met you Finn, and you Jake, you knew me as [suddenly, his voice rises in pitch] Xergiok, the Goblin King!!

Whaaa—?!

Xergiok

When we first met, I was crazy for smacking goblin hams. I was cruel, selfish, brutal. But every thing changed after I was defeated by the two of you!

Jake

So, you got some sleek new shades and now everything's different?

Xergiok

Oh, no, my change has been deep. And these whatsits are only curtains for empty windows.

Finn

Whoa! What happened in there?

Xergiok

I miffed off a wizard and he took my eyes. [pan down to see his eyes attached to his beard] I wonder what he wanted them for. Some kind of lotion, or potion... or time-traveling spell? I'll never know! Never, ever. Never. But losing my eyesight was only the beginning of my wonderful change! I started meditating and doing yoga. Now I can "see" with my heart and smell with my soul.

Jake

You smell with your beard?

Xergiok

I smell with my nose!

Jake

Lame.

Finn

Doi!!

Finn

Oh!

Oh, crease!

Xergiok

Psychic links! Cardamom, my friend, I'm coming! I'm com— [he goes tumbling down the hill] Mother of Gob!! Hold on, Cardy! [Finn and Jake hide in the shadows] Okay, here I am, buddy. Ol' Xergy's here. [lifts the stalactite off its legs; he feels the injured leg] Let's see now— aw, dang! [inhales] Wo-o-o-o-o-ong! Wo-o-o-o-o-ong! Wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wong! [the injured bird's leg is now a green humanlike leg]

Finn

[hushed] Whaaat?

Jake

Shush, Chile!

Xergiok

Ah, Finn and Jake, you are here!

Finn

Where'd you learn that heal spell?

Xergiok

I use no magic. I manipulated space with a vibrational chant. You see, now the injury has transferred to me! [he lifts his leg, which is now Cardamom's broken leg] Ooh, yeah! That hurts, baby! Whoooo!! Can't you see, Jake? I love these birds more than I love myself. What am I to the deafening roar of the macrocosmos? Nothing much. Just a vessel to carry the message of friendship to y'all beasts and dirt.

Finn

Dirt?

Xergiok

Yeah, look! [picks up two handfuls of dirt] Hello, friends! Go for a ride!

Finn

Marceline, why'd you invite Ancient Chubs to play basketball?

Jake

Yeah!

Marceline

Hahh... [beat] Well, he's very dear to my heart. I love him.

Jake

..What you are talking about, Marceline?

Marceline

We've been around for a long time. We've had a long history together, it's.. it's a long story.

Finn

Lay it on us.

Jake

Yeah! Lay it out, Marcy!

Ice King

Yeah, lay down, Marceline! Go to sleep. Right, what're we talkin' about?

Hey, little lady -- how about a ride on an old man's back, hm?

I can walk. I'm not a child, Simon.

Look, sweetie, someday you'll be too big to hold. I'm as old as garlic balls if someone offered to pick me up and carry me, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Take it, we can get it.

Achoo! [laughing]

Gross. You're gross.

You're gross, Simon!

We're both gross, darling.

Finn

Man, I don't have the patience for this animation junk. Whoever does this must have no life whatsoev— [punches himself in the face] oof!! Why did I do that?