Adventure Time · Season 5
Did you guys see that? You know there was a ghost wearing a dead guy. That might be the nastiest thing I've ever seen. N-n-n-n-nasty! Nasty jazz! Nas—
Hey, hey! Easy, buddy! That's our friend, Billy! He got possessed by the Lich!
Oh, sorry! Sorry, I didn't mean nothin' by it! I mean, I have a lot of nasty friends, and my uncle was nasty. I'm basically honorary nasty.
Huh? What is this? Are you tellin' me what to wear, Trammy?
No, boss! You look good!
You think I should reinvent my style, and put a stupid thing on my head!!?
No, man!! You tell us what to wear!
Otherwise you would dress like an idiot!! Bam! Crown shorts!
[in Time Room] Finn? Finn! Hey, guy, where's my buddy?
Oh, when he wished for the Lich to have never existed... [slurps cup] Finn left my Time Room and entered his wish-altered reality. We can watch him on my TV wall.
[a string of colors materializes into a remote. Prismo presses the on button and turns on TV wall; see ice-crown Finn and mule Bartram at the center of mutagenic destruction]
Whoa. Alternate-wish-world Finn is mad uglies. [sees Bartram] Dang, I'm mad uglies too! [Finn climbs up the ice] Everything looks nuts!
Yes. Sometimes a well-intentioned wish can lead to... nuts. But, you know... you get a wish too.
What?!
Yep, totally. [press button, mutes TV wall] You can have anything you want.
I wish for... a sandwich!
A sandwich? You're gonna waste your one wish on a sandwich? You don't want anything else?
Nah, sandwich is good. Maybe about this big, or... this big. On ciabatta bread, maybe? Hmm, I don't know. Whatever you got around, your choice.
Dude, I'll just make you a sandwich! You should use your wish on something important. [beat] You know... on someone who might need it? [looks at TV wall, Jake stares blankly] I'm talking about him over there.
Ohh...
Ha ha ha... I wish, for the extinction of all life-efil- for Finn and Jake to go back home, to Ooo. [Realizes what he just said] Huh?! NO WAIT! THAT'S NOT WHAT I WISHED FOR!!
Sorry, guy, you only get one wish. [The Lich and Prismo look towards Finn & Jake] Hey Jake, did you see that? Monkey's Paw. [Finn & Jake fade away]
[Finn and Jake reappear on Ooo, just outside the Candy Kingdom, it's night, and they reappear midair]
UGH!! [Both of them hit the ground]
[Shocked] JAKE! WHAT THE... WHY DID THE LICH WISH... WHA?! JAKE?!
It worked! [Hugs Finn]
[Bonnie leaves the castle and runs towards them]
Jake, this is serious! Something really messed up is happening!
HA HA! It already happened, and it never happened!
[Horrified] WHAT?! WHAT HAPPENED?!
Nothing, 'cause i saved everyone.
OhwhatagodboyamI!
Little Jack Horner
Sat on a corner
Eating a Christmas pie
He put in his thumb
And pulled out a plum
And said, "What a good boy am I!"
Ahhh, sweetie, this is bliss. Feels so math to finally be normal. Hah, not like those two freaks. [points to Finn and Jake sticking their thumbs in a snowman] What are they doin' over there? Anyway, I— Ohh, who's that?
[He looks at his other foot and there is a winking face on it]
Oh. Oh my.
Sometimes a man... just has to retrieve his own disc.
[Finn wakes up to find himself in a cell guarded by a squirrel]
What?
Uhh... I didn't say anything. [long beat] What are they gonna do to me?
What?
What are they gonna do—
I'm not allowed to talk to you. [Finn slumps down for a beat] Anyone or anything that winds up in the tree becomes part of the tree forever and ever. In the tree, part of the tree.
So... does that mean I'm a prisoner forever?
Well, yes and no. Are you a prisoner? Yes. Will you ever be free? No. In the tree, part of the tree, it's very simple.
Doesn't that mean you're not allowed to leave, either?
No, I— well, yes and no. Am I allowed to leave the tree? No. Have I already left the tree? Am I miles away from the tree right now flying around like the flying squirrel that I am? Yes! [turns to Finn] In my mind! In my mind.
[the squirrel turns back and looks up the window, seeing the moving clouds and blue sky]
Do you like it here?
Yeah! Well, yes and no. Do I like the nuts and acorns? Yes. Do I like it when they put me down and say mean things like, "You're not a flying squirrel, you're just a regular squirrel! Nyahh!" ..No. Do I want to fly away from this place now? Yes. Would I make a break for it if I had a buddy to break out of here with? Yes.
Hey, buddy.
What? [Finn walks past the wide bars]
Let's get outta here.
Hey, Jake, do you think you should date someone just like you, or someone who's like... your opposite?
I don't know. I'm the "first come, first serve" kinda guy. Get in line, ladies! This Rainicorn thing can't last forever! [chuckles] I didn't mean that. Don't spread that around.
So it's not good to weigh someone's qualities against your own?
Well, no. I mean, if you feel something, you feel something. It's not about personality matrixels and charts, it's all about the bu-bumps in your heart. You can't stop the pumps and bumps! Pumps and bumps! Pumps and bumps!!
[comes down] You're up early.
I didn't sleep.
You stayed up all night reading trash books? [Finn makes a weak "meh" sound] Told you, man, those dating books... [slurps cup] That stuff is mess-you-up.
I'm not reading. I'm playing with the little wees.
Ah, lemme see little me! [sees little Jake sulking] Me looks so lonely. Hey Finn, pass me little Lady!
Uh, you guys broke up.
[confused] What?
She's with someone else now.
Who?!
He's a cool guy. Don't worry about it.
[Jake then hears Lady's wahs, he gasps to see little Finn in Lady's lap smooching under a book teepee]
AAAHHHHH!!! [slams table] WHAT THE BALL, MAN?!!
[chuckles] What?
"What"? What do ya think "what"?!
Come on, they're not real, they're like toys. These guys here, they’re goin' out. [points to little Marceline licking Peppermint Butler's red side] It's pretty serious. And look at Choose Goose and Lollipop Girl. They're still testing the waters. [little Choose Goose and Lollipop Girl are dancing; Lollipop Girl flies up and Abracadaniel catches her. They all embrace] But I think things are gonna work out. Check out Xergiok and Turtle P.
[little Turtle Princess spanks little Xergiok's behind, both wah-ing in delight. Finn laughs]
Weird. But cool, right, Jake? [Jake slowly backs away to the exit]
I don't like where you're going with this. It ain't wholesome. I’m gonna go to Lady's for a few days... clear my head. [leaves]
Okay. Whatever whatevs.
Don't you know I'm a villain? Every night I'm out killin', sending everyone running like children. I know why you're mad at me. I've got demon eyes, and they're looking right through your anatomy, into your deepest fears. Baby, I'm not from here, I'm from the Nightosphere. To me, you're clear, transparent. You got a thing for me, girl; it's apparent.
[shouts holo-message speaker] The puppies aren't moving!
PERFORM CPR, THEY MIGHT BE DEAD!!
Dad, the manual's a BUNCHA JUNK!! Just give us a chance.
Jake Jr.! You said your first words! "The manual's a buncha junk!" The manual's a buncha junk??
[Finn shaves the top of his head and dyes his remaining blonde hair dark brown with molasses and a piece of hair like a moustache]
Hotcha! BMO, how do I look? [BMO's eyes turn into Xs]
Like the devil!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Adventure Time pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
