Marceline the Vampire Queen quotes from Adventure Time

Marceline

Ohh, I'm gonna poop my pants if Finn kills this guy instead of me!

Marceline

Let's go in the garden, you'll find something waiting

Marceline

This is a war I have to fight. We all have to.

Marceline

I'm not mean, I'm 1000 years old

Oh, Marceline

Marceline

No, I can't.

So there go our boys

Marceline

Hey Finn, I need you to strangle some pixies!

Finn

Yeah, sure. That sounds good.

Marceline

Whoa, why are you being so casual about that? Killing pixies is some hardcore evil.

Finn

I'm not fallin' for your junk anymore, lady. You just like saying poop that jacks with my brain.

Marceline

[Breaking] What are you talking about? I... [Laughs] Dang, man, I didn't think you'd ever catch on!

Finn

[Laughs] I knew it! Hey... what about your old henchman? Who was that guy?

Marceline

Oh, just an old diving buddy. [Jake emerges from the bushes.] [Jokingly] So, you ready to go strangle some pixies?

Finn

Yeah, man! I mean, wo-man.

Finn

Marceline, if you're thinkin' about your dad so much, then... why don't you go see him?

Marceline

He's not worth the effort.

Finn

Not worth what effort?

Marceline

Well... first, I'd have to draw a circle with a happy face in the center, and then, ahh... douse it with bug milk.

Finn

Oh, yeah? [throws bug milk at the happy face, absorbing its contents into the symbol and lights dual candles]

Marceline

[sigh] And then, you're supposed to chant something like, "Maloso vobis com et cum spiritum!"

Finn

Ha ha ha ha!

Marceline

But... I-I don't really wanna see him. I'm still mad about the thing with the fries... Huh?

Finn

Ww-what?!

Marceline...

Marceline

Finn, what the heck did you do?!

Finn

I... reunited you with your family?

Marceline

MM!! [the figure seeps behind Finn]

Is this kid your evil servant?

Finn

I'm not evil, Marceline's Dad! I'm super good!

Super good? [he then grabs Finn and sucks his vital essence]

Finn

What are you doing?!

"Stealing your SOUL!!"

Marceline

Dad! Ugh... You always do stuff like this!

[chuckles] Oh, Marceline. I never know what's gonna set you off. Waoh! [grabs her bass] Is this the family axe?

Marceline

Huh? HEY!!

Did you turn it into some kind of lute?

Marceline

GIVE IT BACK!! AND GET OUT!!!

'Kay. I'll go. I got business to attend to anyway, sucking up all the souls in Ooo...

Finn

Wha-i-i— No!!

See you kids later. [clutches door, smacks into Finn]

Marceline

My bass!!

Finn

I've unleashed evil onto Ooo! We've gotta stop him, Marceline!

Marceline

Fine, but I'm only coming with you to get my bass back.

Finn

Hey, how do I kill this guy, anyway?

Marceline

Finn, you can't kill my dad!

Finn

Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean—

Marceline

No, you literally can't kill my dad! He's deathless.

Finn

Oh...

Marceline

Hey look, Finn, I know Jake's your friend and all, but... if you really want Bubblegum to go to the movies with you, you've gotta like, stop listening to your dog and take some advice from a real girl.

Finn

But Jake said Phase 2 is powerful!

Marceline

Pbbt!! Heh, how is Jake going to know what girls want more than a real girl?

Finn

Yeah—

Marceline

Okay, great. So what we need now is something... fun. Girls love fun more than anything. Fun, fun, fun! If you can show Bubblegum that you're fun, she'll deffs wanna go to the movies with you.

Finn

Heheh, you said fun so much, it sounds all weird now. Fffun. Ff— [M touches his shoulder]

Marceline

So what do you like to do for fun, Finn?

Finn

Oh-oh! I like to wrestle! And fight!! ERRRRH!! ROARR!! ...But girls don't like that.

Marceline

No, no, that's perfect! All you need to do is get in there and wrestle Princess Bubblegum to show her how fun you are. [flies off]

Finn

[beat] Ffffffuuunnn. Ffffuuunn.

Marceline

Finn, you do not want to go down that road with me.

Finn

With you, I would walk down any road, milady — especially if it leads to the movies.

Marceline

Oh, yeah? No one would want to go to the movie with... [transforms into a black unearthly-like monstrosity] ..THIS!!!

Marceline

UWA HA HA HA HA!! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ME NOW?!

Finn

..How do you like your popcorn?

Marceline

UGGGHHH!! [demetamorphosizes] You're starting to annoy me!

Finn

Well, then let's do something fun, like go to the movies!

Marceline

Get off me! [throws Finn onto the couch] Finn, I like you, but—

Finn

Headlock!!

Marceline

NO!! [armlocks Finn] Listen to me! I'm not gonna go to the movies with you! I just... don't like you that way.

Marceline

I'm sorry, Finn. I just... I don't want to date you.

Finn

Date me? Man, I just want to go the movies, but everybody hates me.

Marceline

Wait — you... don't want me to be your girlfriend?

Finn

Huh?! No!! MOVIES!!

Marceline

If you weren't looking for a girlfriend, then why were you romancing it up all day?

Finn

Cos Jake said couples nights have weird kissing requirements and romance-initiation rituals and whatever else.

Jake

I didn't really say all that. [mumbling indistinctly]

Marceline

Of course I'll go with you, Finn.

Finn

You will?

Marceline

Yeah, as friends.

Finn

Of course as friends.

Marceline

But no tongue.

Finn

Ye— what?!

Finn

[sniffs] This place reeks.

Jake

Yo, man, your thing is glowing.

Finn

My what? [touches forehead] Oh, my thing.

Jake

We must be close to the core. I see another door over there. Come on.

Finn

[looks up] Wait a sec, Jake... It's that guy again.

Hey... open your eyes, look at this, Mar-Mar. Check it out. It's my new wand. These cherry blossoms... look-look as close as you can, and they're real. [Marceline puts her finger near a cherry blossom and gets zapped]

Marceline

Wow. Awesome. Where'd you get the money for that thing?

Oh, I sold that teddy bear that you love so much. [beat] To a witch.

Marceline

You... what?! Are you crazy?! That was my favorite thing in the whole world!!

That's why it's so valuable, genius. For potions? [summons a ghost from his wand]

[croons] You're not a genius... You're not a genius...

Marceline

[crying] That's the last straw, Ash! That's it! You're a psycho jerk and you ruined my life...

But... But not all of it—

Marceline

IT'S OVER, YOU PSYCHO!!!! [storms off angrily]

Marceline

La da da da da, I'm gonna bury you in the ground

Bubblegum

Marceline, that's too distasteful!

Marceline

Oh... You don't like that? ..Or do you just not like ME?!

Finn

It's working! Look at the door!

Marceline

I'm sorry that I exist, I forget what landed me on your blacklist

Finn

Is she awake?

Jake

Why are you talking?!

Finn

I'm wondering if she's awake.

Jake

Well, if she's awake, she can definitely hear you talking!

Finn

I'm whispering!

Jake

Well, now we're both quietly screaming!!

Marceline

[offscreen] I can hear both of you.

Finn

Disguise yourself, fool!

Marceline

What are you bozos doing in my lair?

Jake

Dude, I think she sees us. [Finn takes off lampshade]

Finn

What the— Dude! You shape-changed to look like me?! [throws lampshade at Jake]

Jake

[beat] Yeah.

Marceline

Hey! [hissing] Exssssplain yourselves.

Finn

[exhales deeply] We were playing hide-and-seek in your closet and you came home, so we hid in there all day. We saw... everything. And, oh Glob! [Jake jumps up and they hold each other] I mean, whatever you do to us, I just wanna say we're sorry!

Jake

So sorry!

Marceline

Okay. Apology accepted.

Jake

What?!

Marceline

I hide in your house all the time.

Marceline

Who's next? Who's next?

Uh... me, my lord "Aberdeer."

Marceline

What do you desire, cowering spec? Pain? Pleasure? Or... weird punishment?

Uh... pleasure.

Marceline

No, weird punishment! [zaps Demon #1, bananas come out of his mouth] And what do you desire? P, P, or WP?

I... pain?

Marceline

Okay. [zaps Demon #2, half his body disappears]

Aw...

Marceline

Come on, come on, next!

Uh... I'm just gonna go.

Marceline

You sure, dude? Don't you want abs?

Yeah, gimme abs!

Jake

"Alright, so... this is the Nightosphere, I guess. It looks banay-nays. Marceline says they got tons of crazy ways out here. [walks into the cave to see Finn and Marceline playing tambourine and banjo respectively] Right, Marceline? Marceline! [waves hand in front of the camera] Marcy!! [uses index finger and thumb on Marceline, morphs it into a claw hand while making sounds] Hehehe...

"There you are, Marceline. [pans out to show Hunson in his monster form] Huh? RAHHH!!!"

Jake

"WAHHHH!!!"

"Oh! Hello, dog. Hello, Finn." [swipe at Finn]

Finn

"Stay away from me, old man!" [points at him and shakes tambourine]

Jake

[watching the video] Hehehe... nice one.

"Now, Finn. [shrinks down into his non-monster state] Come on, there's no bad blood here. Come here, let's bury the hatchet! [hugs Finn] See how I'm not killing you?"

Marceline

"Ugh, Dad, stop."

"Alright, I don't want to embarrass my little girl. [puts Finn down] So young lady, have you thought about my offer?"

Marceline

"Ugh!!"

Jake

"What offer, Marceline's Dad?"

[chuckles] "I want Marceline to take over the Nightosphere. Finally join the family business."

Marceline

"Business? What do you even do?"

Oh, ha... [backing away] Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on...

"Check it out, sweetie. See how chaotic it is out there? [fire shoots out of the ground] How everyone's confused and frustrated? The Nightosphere is sustained by chaos."

Marceline

"Eh, I just don't see my self doing this biz."

"Okay, but I know you'll come around eventually. Or maybe you won't. I don't know. You're an independent woman. [yawns so hard his soul-sucking face is seen as Jake backs away] Well, I'm gonna take a nappy. [taking a stroll] Oh! I almost forgot!" [takes off a neck ornament and sucks his suit into it; he is now wearing underpants and an undershirt]

Marceline

"Dad!!"

"Whoops! [laughs, hands it to her] You should put this amulet on. It'll grant you wishes for, like... ponies, or whatever kids like."

Marceline

"Dad, I'm a thousand years old."

"Ha! Yes you are, sweetie. [messing her hair, walks away] Daddy's little monster!"